Dexter and Alessandrina

“Dysregulation is what happens when our nervous system no longer detects safety. It’s a physiological state, not a personal choice.” — Dr. Stephen Porges

We often think dysregulation means something is wrong with us.
But what most of us were never told is that dysregulation is a body state driven by our innate physiology, rather than a character flaw or something we consciously choose.

It’s the physiology of a nervous system that had to adapt fast, often without the support and resources it needed.

When the body loses its sense of safety, it shifts into survival automatically.
It’s simply evolutionary biology, designed to protect life, and it shows up in all living creatures.

Learning to work with your nervous system begins with noticing what’s happening inside you with playful curiosity, without trying to change it, while simultaneously giving yourself the conditions you never had, so that something new can unfold over time.

I’d love to hear how you experience self-compassion as a key step in working with dysregulation, and what shifts in your body when you offer compassion to your dysregulated parts and automatic survival patterns.

#NervousSystem #SomaticHealing #Polyvagal #Dysregulation
#TraumaInformedHealing #Neuroception #NervousSystemWork #SomaticPractice

1 day ago | [YT] | 4

Dexter and Alessandrina

If you've ever wondered why it's hard sometimes to calm down, why small things send you into overwhelm, why rest doesn't actually restore you, why you snap at people you love over small things, you might be experiencing dysregulation.

Dysregulation happens when we get out of our widow of tolerance, and that applies to everyone. It's our nervous system getting stuck in survival mode and operating from patterns that were formed when we genuinely needed that level of protection.

Most of us have never learned to recognize dysregulation for what it is. We've been taught to judge our responses, to override our body's signals, to push through without understanding what's actually happening beneath the surface.

This piece is about helping you transcend that conditioned in response.
In this blog, I explore:

What dysregulation actually is and why it happens
The science behind how your nervous system gets stuck
How dysregulation shows up in your body, emotions, and relationships
Why recognizing these patterns is an essential first step toward regulation
The non-judgmental lens that makes healing possible

Being able to self-regulate begins with recognizing when we've come out of a regulated state.

If you've been frustrated with yourself for reactions that don't seem to make sense, exhausted from trying to "fix" yourself, or simply want to understand what your body has been trying to tell you, this blog will help you.

Read the full post by using this link or scanning the QR code on the image🤎
restplaylove.com/post/Living-In-Survival-Mode-Why-…

#nervousystemhealing #dysregulation #polyvagaltheory #traumahealing #somatichealing #nervoussystemregulation #traumainformed #selfregulation #nervousystemsupport #embodiedhealing #windowoftolerance #survivalmode #bodyawareness #restplaylove

2 days ago | [YT] | 6

Dexter and Alessandrina

Reminder: Join me tomorrow for Live Co-Regulation

Tomorrow, Wednesday, November 19th at 12pm PST / 3pm EST, we'll come together for a grounded, restorative hour exploring co-regulation through the Polyvagal lens and guided somatic practices to help your nervous system settle, soften, and become more resourced.

This session offers space for your body to unwind and arrive, for your mind to quiet, and for you to feel more supported from the inside out. We'll explore how co-regulation lives and moves in the body, practice together in real time, and create a warm space for whatever questions, sensations, or insights feel present for you.

Whether you're seeking more capacity to navigate life's challenges with ease, looking to expand your window of tolerance, or simply wanting to feel safer in your body and more grounded in your nervous system, this time is for you.

Completely free. Link in bio or use: insig.ht/4UKFYGV4hYb

I look forward to being together in this meaningful practice.

#coregulation #nervousystemhealing #polyvagaltheory #somatichealing #traumahealing #nervousystemregulation #embodiment #somaticpractices #traumainformed #windowoftolerance #insighttimer #livepractice #nervousystemsupport #healingjourney #somatictherapy #polyvagal #embodiedhealing #traumarecovery #mindfulness #selfregulation #collectivehealing #bodybasedhealing #holistichealing #nervoussystemwork #traumawork

1 week ago | [YT] | 1

Dexter and Alessandrina

Co-Regulation for Nervous System Support and Deep Resourcing: Live Practice & Q&A

Join me for a grounded, restorative hour where we’ll explore and experience co-regulation to help our nervous systems settle, soften, and become more resourced and resilient through safe connection.

During our time together, we’ll explore:
✨ A clear, grounded understanding of co-regulation through the Polyvagal lens — what it is, how it lives and moves in the body and nervous system, and the ways it shapes our health and wellbeing, our relationships, and our emotional and mental landscape.
✨ Guided somatic and nervous system practices to help your body unwind and arrive, to bring more grounding, capacity, flexibility, and resilience to your nervous system so it can meet life with a little more ease and steadiness.
✨ A warm, attuned Q&A space where you can bring whatever feels present for you - questions, sensations, tender edges, lived experiences, insights - and receive support that meets you exactly where you are.

This session is here to help you feel a little safer in your body, a little quieter in your mind, and more supported from the inside out. Together, we’ll create space for settling, clarity, and connection to support you in expanding your window of tolerance so life’s challenges, uncertainties, and stressors are easier to navigate and feel less overwhelming.

I look forward to spending this meaningful hour with you.

Use this link to join: insig.ht/4UKFYGV4hYb
Link in bio on Instagram

Alessandrina 🤍

1 week ago | [YT] | 1

Dexter and Alessandrina

Your nervous system learns regulation the way it learns anything: through experience and embodiment, rather than instruction.


You cannot tell someone how to feel safe. You cannot explain your way into a ventral vagal state—the physiological state where your social engagement system is active and connection feels possible.


The part of your brain that registers safety or threat operates beneath language, beneath conscious thought. It responds to what it senses in the bodies around it through nervous system neuroception.


This is why the most regulating thing you can offer someone is not advice, not solutions, not even reassurance. It's your own regulated presence, which they can entrain to and internalize once their nervous system settles down.


When your nervous system is steady and flexible, when your breath is slow, when your body communicates that you are safe and trustworthy, the person near you begins to feel that steadiness and regulated state in their own system. Their heart rate may slow to match yours. Their breath may deepen. Their hypervigilance may soften, even if only slightly.


This is co-regulation. One nervous system lending its state of safety to another, allowing them to increase their window of tolerance and capacity for life circumstances.


Co-regulation happens without words, without effort, without needing to know exactly what to do. You simply be with someone in a way that says: you do not have to be different right now. I can hold this space while you find your ground.


One of the challenges that is often not evident about co-regulation is that it's also how we learned dysregulation. If the people around you were chronically anxious, if their nervous systems were always in threat mode, your body learned to match that state. You became hypervigilant because hypervigilance was the baseline. You learned to brace because the people who were supposed to regulate you were themselves dysregulated.


This is not about blaming anyone for their shortcomings. It's about understanding that your nervous system absorbed the states of the people who raised you, taught you, lived alongside you, and modeled and embodied certain nervous system states that you are also practicing.


And now, as an adult, you have the opportunity to offer yourself something different and more beneficial and supportive. You can seek out people whose nervous systems are more regulated than yours. You can practice being in the presence of calm, even if it feels unfamiliar at first. You can let your body learn, through repeated experience, that safety is possible.


And if you are someone who has done your own healing work, if you have learned to regulate your nervous system through therapy, somatic practices, or years of patient attention to your own body, then you carry something invaluable. Your regulated presence becomes a gift. Not because you are trying to fix anyone, but because your steadiness creates a field where others can begin to find their own.


This is how regulation spreads and how healing happens in relationship through co-regulation skills being practiced and shared, taking turns supporting one another into regulation. One nervous system at a time, learning safety through the lived experience of being near someone who embodies it.


If there is someone in your life who you would like to practice presence with, someone whose nervous system could benefit from your calm, or someone whose steadiness you need right now, share this post with them. Let it be an invitation to co-regulate together.

#CoRegulation #NervousSystemHealing #PolyvagalTheory #TraumaRecovery #SomaticHealing #NervousSystem #TraumaInformed #VagusNerve #TraumaHealing #SomaticTherapy #EmotionalRegulation #TraumaTherapy #MentalHealthAwareness #AttachmentHealing #HealingJourney #NervousSystemRegulation #TraumaSurvivor #SelfRegulation #MindBodyHealing #TraumaWork #NervousSystemSupport #RegulationSkills #EmbodiedHealing #VentralVagal #HealingTogether #ConnectionHeals #TraumaEducation #SomaticExperience #NervousSystemSpecialist #RegulatedNervousSystem

3 weeks ago | [YT] | 11

Dexter and Alessandrina

If you're reading this, you've likely been working so very hard to find healing. Maybe you've tried practicing many different breathing exercises, explored meditation apps, and spent tens of hours journaling. You may even have learned about nervous system regulation and polyvagal theory—understanding intellectually what you're "supposed" to do.

And yet, something I've come to understand through my own journey and work with others is this: You can't heal in isolation what happened in relationship.
Because the wound isn't just about what happened to you. It's also about what didn't happen between you and another regulated nervous system. It's about not receiving the support you needed to move through a relational rupture, or experiencing a rupture that was never repaired.
The missing piece isn't more self-regulation. It's co-regulation.
In this piece, I share:

The science of how our nervous systems attune to each other
Why co-regulation can feel impossible (and what to do about it)
Practical ways to begin—with nature, animals, and safe people
How to support someone you love in co-regulating with you

If you've been carrying the weight of your own nervous system without support, this one's for you.

Read this full piece here: restplaylove.com/post/co-regulation-the-missing-pi…

#nervousystemhealing #coregulation #polyvagaltheory #traumahealing #somatichealing #nervoussystemregulation #thevagusdiaries #embodiedhealing #attachmenthealing #relationshiphealing

4 weeks ago | [YT] | 7

Dexter and Alessandrina

"Sometimes self-regulation isn't possible."

Your nervous system learned that isolation was safer than connection. When survival became your baseline, your body started equating "doing it alone" with safety. The very thing that could help you regulate—connection, presence, being witnessed—feels like a threat.

And here's what matters: none of this is weakness. It's brilliant adaptation in the service of your preservation and survival. All along, your nervous system has been protecting you from disappointment, from being let down, from the pain of reaching out and not being truly met.
You can change this, slowly and gradually, building greater capacity, flexibility and resilience in your nervous system. True regulation becomes possible when we feel safe enough to let others in. Not all at once. Not perfectly. Just... incrementally, in small doses. What Dr. Levine, a pioneer in the science of trauma, calls 'titration and pendulation.'

You can start by simply noticing when connection helps you soften. When someone's calm presence makes your shoulders drop. When a shared moment of silence feels steadying and relaxing instead of dreadful. When you don't have to explain yourself to feel safe, held, seen, and secure.

That's your nervous system remembering it doesn't have to carry everything alone.
Healing has never been about willpower. It's about safety slowly becoming real enough to allow connection again.

I wrote more about this in my new blog, 'The Vagus Diaries: The Science of Connection and Softening—Why Self-Regulation Isn't Always Possible: Understanding Survival Patterns and the Path Back to Connection.' Link: restplaylove.com/post/why-self-regulation-isnt-alw…

#NervousSystemHealing #TraumaRecovery #SelfRegulation #CoRegulation #PolyvagalTheory #TraumaInformed #SomaticHealing #AttachmentHealing #HealingJourney #SurvivalPatterns #EmotionalRegulation #TraumaTherapy #MentalHealthAwareness #SomaticTherapy #NervousSystem #HealingCommunity #TraumaSurvivor #TraumaEducation #MindBodyHealing #ConnectionHeals #SafetyFirst #RegulationSkills #TraumaWork #AttachmentTheory #HealingTogether #EmotionalWellness

1 month ago | [YT] | 7

Dexter and Alessandrina

🎉 Big Announcement! 🎉

I’m so happy to introduce our brand-new course: 30 Days to Mindfulness & Personal Transformation 🌟✨

If you’ve been seeking more self-awareness, emotional balance, self-regulation, self-love, or a deeper sense of connection in your daily life, this course was made for YOU! 💚

📖 What’s inside?

This isn’t just another meditation course—it’s a journey.

Over 30 days, you’ll discover:

• Daily Teachings: Bite-sized teachings designed to make mindfulness accessible and transformative.
• Unique Meditations: Each session integrates the day's teaching, helping you absorb and embody the teachings.
• A Blend of Science and Stories: Dive into fascinating insights from neuroscience and epigenetics paired with relatable stories that bridge the analytical and intuitive parts of your mind.
• Practical Tools: Learn techniques you can use daily to navigate stress, foster greater self-love and self-worth, and find calm and centering amidst life’s chaos.

🧘‍♀️ Why is it special?

This course combines 30+ years of practice and study to bring you a heartfelt blend of ancient wisdom and modern science. Whether you’re a complete beginner or an experienced meditator, each day is an invitation to deepen your practice, connect to your authentic self, and create positive, lasting change.

🌿 Who is it for?

Anyone looking to slow down, reconnect, and transform their life from within. Whether you’re stressed, curious about mindfulness, or simply ready to feel more YOU, this course offers something truly special.

🛤️ Start your journey today!

This is more than a course—it’s a chance to explore, grow, and transform your inner world in just 20-30 minutes each day. 🎈

Let’s walk this path together.

Ready to embark on your 30-day transformation?

Click the link below to join! 💫
insig.ht/xZJVwxiT1Ob?utm_source=copy_link&utm_medi…

#Mindfulness #PersonalGrowth #MeditationJourney #TransformYourLife #EmbraceCalm #SelfLove

🎉 Let’s make this a month of growth, self-discovery, and joy!

Can’t wait to see you there. 😊

With love,

Alessandrina

11 months ago | [YT] | 10

Dexter and Alessandrina

🌟 Prepare Your Heart for Thanksgiving with Our Gratitude Meditation Album 🌟

This Thanksgiving, embrace the transformative power of gratitude and gift yourself—or someone you love—a journey into joy, abundance, and elevated emotions. 🍂💛

Our Gratitude Meditation Album offers five deeply enriching meditations designed to:

✨ Clear emotional blocks
✨ Open your heart to joy and love
✨ Align your energy with miracles and abundance

Each meditation integrates mindfulness, neuroscience, and energy alignment to help you shift from stress and survival into a state of thriving and gratitude.

What’s Included:

🧘‍♀️ Gratitude Meditation for Positive Energy and Abundance (30 min)
🧘‍♂️ The Alchemist: Gratitude and Inner Transformation (84 min)
🧘‍♀️ Feel Grateful: Guided Meditation for Gratitude and Transformation (30 min)
🧘‍♂️ Clear Blocks and Elevate Your Joy (32 min)
🧘‍♀️ Deepen Your Thankfulness and Life Connection (25 min)

This album is a perfect way to prepare for Thanksgiving or to share the gift of gratitude with someone who can benefit from these powerful meditations.

✨ Tap into a life filled with meaning, connection, and miracles. ✨

🎁 Ready to experience this transformative journey? Explore the new Gratitude Meditation Album using this link: www.dexterandalessandrina.com/product/awaken-grati…

#gratitude #thanksgiving #meditationalbum #positiveenergy #manifestmiracles #mindfulnessmeditation #joyandabundance #emotionalhealing #gratitudemeditation

1 year ago | [YT] | 11

Dexter and Alessandrina

🌟 Embrace Gratitude: A Thanksgiving Journey Of Reflection, Peace, And Joy 🌟
🗓️ Date & Time: Saturday, November 30th
⏰ Time: 12 PM PST | 3 PM EST
📍 Link: insig.ht/FJXiHClsEOb


🍂 Join Us for a Special Thanksgiving-Themed Live: Cultivating Gratitude 🍂



Hello, beautiful souls! 🧡



This Thanksgiving season, let’s gather in the spirit of gratitude to reflect, connect, and cultivate joy together. I invite you to a transformative 2-hour live session where we’ll explore gratitude as a pathway to emotional healing, personal transformation and goal achievement.



✨ What will you experience during this live?


🌼 Insightful teachings on gratitude’s role in healing, transformation, and goal achievement
🌸 Two powerful live meditations to open your heart and uplift your spirit
🌞 A nurturing space to anchor gratitude in your daily life



💫 In preparation for the live, you can explore our course and guided meditations to deepen your practice:



1️. 10 Days To Conscious Gratitude: insig.ht/xaLhGqlfDOb

2️. Cultivating Gratitude & Elevated Emotions: insig.ht/XOs1vgefDOb
3️. The Alchemist: Gratitude Meditation: insig.ht/IYtxzqBfDOb
4️. Give Thanks: Gratitude Meditation: insig.ht/BmLyTyKfDOb
5️. Remove Blocks to Gratitude Meditation: insig.ht/aZSSahRfDOb



I can’t wait to share this sacred time together to reflect on life’s blessings and cultivate a gratitude-filled heart. 🌟.



Register now for free! 💌
Click here 👉 insig.ht/FJXiHClsEOb



With love,
🧡 Alessandrina



#GratitudeJourney #ThanksgivingMeditation #InnerPeace #GratitudePractice #HealingThroughGratitude #LiveMeditation #EmotionalHealing #HeartOpening #Thanksgiving2024 #GuidedMeditation #SpiritualGrowth #SelfCare #Mindfulness #InsightTimer #MeditationCommunity

1 year ago | [YT] | 7