Happy Matters with Dawn Super

How to love yourself, even if parts of you are missing – Daily Dose #44
(rather watch? https://youtu.be/fOON1XMTeFk )


Self-love is not a given. When we experience challenges, some of us can find ourselves not even liking ourselves. That was me, until age 35.

When you look in the mirror, do you smile? Do you feel love towards your reflection? If your answer was no, or not always – this is for you.

Living with a lifelong issue affects so much more than just your health. Everything that happens to us, around us, because of us is filtered through the lens of our limitations. If no one is around to give us empathy, if people are around that just don’t get it, or if we do not receive that unconditional love through the process – it’s almost easy to feel ‘less than.’

After spending a lifetime feeling like I needed to prove myself to be worthy of love – something shifted in me. I was recovering from a life-threatening experience with a narcolepsy medication – while having to work because I still had to take care of myself. I couldn’t stay awake for more than two hours at a time. So, I would work for two hours, nap and then walk around the block to wake myself back up.

I also have pain disorders, so the walking was slow. To entertain myself I took photos of the beautiful flowers I saw along the way. Then I would share them on social media and my friends would ooh and ahh with me. It was a little bit of creativity and beauty in what was otherwise a miserable experience – happy matters 😉

It was May 31, 2012 (no, I don’t remember, I looked lol), I took a pic of a beautiful white daisy atop a bunch of purpley ones and noticed something had chomped on one of the leaves. I said, out loud, “You’re still beautiful little daisy, even though parts of you are missing.”

Going through so much, pushing my body and mind to the max every single day just to provide for myself and my kids, I thought – girl, you got more empathy for a daisy than you do yourself!

Have you ever realized you weren’t being very loving to yourself?

Well, in that moment, I did. I decided I wanted to be the daisy and present myself to the world, as I am. This is what I got to work with and I love that even though my life was incredibly hard for a good portion of it – I found my way.

When we get stuck in the suck it is easy to just hand everything over to it but that’s a lie – because doing that actually makes everything harder. When we hold our hand, give ourselves grace and lead ourselves around the block with love, creativity and joy – literally everything is easier. Still hard AF lol but easier.

How bout it, little daisy… are you ready to present your leaves to the world?

#DailyDoseOfDawn #HappyMatters #ExpandYourThinking #SelfLoveJourney #HealingInProgress #EmotionalHealing #BeKindToYourself #ChronicIllnessAwareness #NeurodivergentHealing #SelfCompassion #YouAreEnough #InnerHealing

3 days ago | [YT] | 1

Happy Matters with Dawn Super

Your light can ignite or incite – Daily Dose of Dawn #45
( rather watch? https://youtu.be/fOON1XMTeFk )

This one’s for the “too much” tribe... when you shine brightly – you’re gonna blind some people.

If you’re like me, you had to teach yourself how to be Ok with that. If you’re still learning – this dose is going to help you process the way other people react to you, so that you never feel you have to dim your light. For anyone, or any situation.

You may have heard it said that sensitive people like us act as a mirror to others, reflecting back to them the things they need to work on.

Sometimes people are ready to work on those things and you ignite something inside of them that helps them on their path to doing so.

Sometimes they’re not ready, so they get incited with themselves and don’t know what to do with that other than take it out on you.

Have you had that happen to you? Where the way someone behaves in your presence seems… weird – like your existence offends them?

If we go by the notion that each person that we meet is here to teach us something, we can focus on the lesson instead of their reaction. Maybe the lesson is just – can you shine your light anyway… even through this? And, how do you do that without making things worse?

When people are incited by our light - that’s the moment we choose how to show up. We don’t want to be tap dance Sally – because that’s not helpful for anyone. So, put up your armor of silk – by shining your light inward – keep it all for you. Fill yourself with love, smile to yourself, grateful for the peace - and leave them space to be them.

We hold onto our power – act like we want the people in our world to act. We make it a party in our mind, no matter the situation and in that we feel the freedom to shine anyway.
#DailyDoseOfDawn #Boundaries #ShineAnyway #TooMuchTribe #EmpathEnergy #SelfEmpowerment #EnergyAwareness #LightworkerVibes #EmotionalIntelligence #ExpandYourThinking #AuthenticLiving #HappyMatters #SpiritualGrowth #SelfWorth

3 days ago | [YT] | 2

Happy Matters with Dawn Super

What does it even mean to “Be authentic?” Daily Dose of Dawn #43
( read below or watch here: https://youtu.be/MuITDj57mBI )

Listening to some marketing videos, I heard two very famous marketers give two different definitions of authenticity – that differ from my own.

I’ll be honest, I was like… what?? lol. If you’re like me, you believe definitions matter. People are already harder on themselves than they need to be. When you feel like you’re falling short because of someone else’s definition – it affects you, inside your body.

In an earlier Dose I mentioned about how your definition of thriving can keep you from believing you can thrive – that’s what happened to me!

This is so important in getting and staying on your own side that Defining Your Authenticity is Chapter Nine in my book How to Be On Your Own Side.

First let’s look at the actual definition: Being authentic is being genuine, true to your personality, values and spirit, regardless of external pressures or influences. You’re honest and open while acting in alignment with your beliefs and values, and acting with integrity.

Is that how you see it?

Seth Godin, in an interview said, “You don’t want people to be authentic. If your waitress is authentically in a bad mood – you don’t want her serving you an angry breakfast.”

Chris Do says, “The you in your gray sweat pants eating Cheetos on the sofa is your authentic self.”

People who’ve lived through challenging circumstances, often feel very deeply, wanting to be ourselves, maybe struggling with social awkwardness – these definitions can be confusing which makes it a lot harder to even come to define what authenticity means to you.

I’ve seen with my clients and even in social media posts that some people find your authentic self to be rude. Looking back at my Changing the Subject Dose, you have to find that delicate balance so that you can be authentic and still be someone you’d want to hang around with.

So how do you do that? For me, I got a ton of guidance from the Rotary Club’s 4-Way Test of the things we think, say and do.

Is it the truth?
Is it fair to all concerned?
Will it build goodwill and better friendships?
Is it beneficial to all concerned?

Sometimes the truth is real - but it’s not necessarily fair, and it might not build goodwill, and that definitely won’t be beneficial.

What does that look like in real life? My authentic self wants to lead herself with love. I want to act with love towards others as much as possible. So, when I get to an uncomfortable truth, that is not going to benefit the relationship between me and the person I’m talking to – my authentic self chooses the relationship over being right.

Can you feel the difference in that perspective shift?

The you that holds back your anger because the person you’re in front of doesn’t deserve it…
The you that holds your values whether you’re in a dress or in gray sweatpants eating Cheetos…
The you that changes the subject when the conversation goes South – that’s your authentic self…

Authenticity isn’t the raw version of you. It’s the chosen version of you. It’s deciding… who do you want to be when it’s your turn to show up?

#DailyDoseOfDawn #Authenticity #PersonalGrowth #MindsetMatters #EmotionalIntelligence #SelfAwareness #EmpathLife #PeaceOverDrama #ExpandYourThinking #HealthyBoundaries #InnerWork #ChooseWhoYouWantToBe

4 days ago | [YT] | 3

Happy Matters with Dawn Super

Watch today's video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AXuwa...
or read the script below:
How to change the subject to save your sanity Daily Dose of Dawn #42
At one point in my life, I had a romantic partner, a boss and a parent all shared very different beliefs than I did on certain subjects.

This video is going to talk about how I learned to protect my peace and my relationships with one simple skill – changing the subject.

We are living in very polarizing times. Those of us who overflow with empathy can find ourselves not knowing what to do with our feelings.

If you find you’re getting caught up in how others feel or cornered by toxic people, comment Deeper and I’ll drop some links for you.

Ok, I’ll start by saying, if three people witness a car accident – they will each give a different version of what happened. Why? Because they saw everything from their own perspective.

This is the same for literally everything in life. So, here’s how I use that when things get sticky – especially with people I want to keep in my life. Whether it’s something simple or a complex issue that carries a lot of weight, people make decisions the same way you do – through the lens of their past and experiences.

So, what does this strategy look like in real life? I’ll use my mom as an example. I loved my mom, rest her soul, but we did not see eye to eye on many things. Some things my mom would get on board with – like trying the paleo diet, she lost a lot of weight and was happy. On other, contentious topics, I just knew I wasn’t going to change her mind and I needed to stop the frustration.

My mom had certain things that she really loved. The work she did with her church, her dog, her patio and cooking.
When we would end up touching on a topic we didn’t agree on, I would use the things she loved to help change the subject.
“I hear you, mom. How are things with Father Stu?” Immediately she’d light up and start some raving story, contention forgotten.
Or, “Hold that thought. I wanted to make Golumpki and I can’t remember all the ingredients.” Which put mom into problem solving mode – comment forgotten.
This worked 100% of the time and it enabled me to have long, lovely chats with my mom.
“Everyone deserves the dignity of walking their own path.” Judith Orloff – I repeat this every time I think I can save someone from themselves lol
Why do we want to learn how to do this? Because when we feel bad about what’s going on in our lives, we feel bad inside of ourselves. Think of it as protecting yourself… from yourself.
All our feelings come from inside of us so when people upset us, we are technically doing it to ourselves. Took me forever to get that. No! It’s them! They upset me!
But, like George Carlin once said, you can’t defeat hunger by taping sandwiches on your body – nothing outside of you can make you feel better. You do that for yourself.
I remember once asking a psychic, how do I keep people from barfing their drama on me. She said, just excuse yourself. I asked, isn’t that rude? She asked, why are their feelings more important than yours?
Can you see how these mindset magic strategies can help you navigate the tough relationships in your own life?
When you get to a point where your feelings have your stomach in a knot, remember that we’re the people who protect our peace because in doing so we protect ourselves mentally and physically.
#DailyDoseOfDawn #SocialSkills #EmotionalIntelligence #ProtectYourPeace #HealthyBoundaries #EmpathLife #MindsetMatters #SelfAwareness #PeaceOverDrama #ExpandYourThinking #PersonalGrowth #CommunicationSkills

5 days ago | [YT] | 3

Happy Matters with Dawn Super

How to hold onto happy – Daily Dose of Dawn #41
((Rather watch? https://youtu.be/YA8WY4eIDlw ))
You know how it goes… you’re in a great mood, everything is going right and then bam, something comes along to test you… and you fail.
This used to frustrate the bejesus out of me.

I realized as I was shooting the video of this Dose that this is episode 41 about Happy Matters, and I was 41 the first time I knew what real happiness felt like – like a wink from my unconscious mind. Good stuff.

They say “happiness is a choice,” so why do we struggle to choose it? That’s what I’m talking about today – what can we do when it feels like a struggle to choose happy.

A long time ago, I had a co-worker I found very frustrating. I would be in a great mood until they clocked in. I remember listening to a video – the speaker says, “If they would just go over there and behave the way I want them to behave, then I could be happy!”

I thought, exactly! She gets it! But… she was being sarcastic lol.

Did you ever ask yourself the question… “If happiness is a choice, why am I handing over my happy to every little inconvenience?”

The truth, for me… was my circumstances. For 41 years I didn’t think I had the ‘right’ to be happy because my life was a dumpster fire rolling down a hill… no joke.

But that was a lie I was telling myself. Maybe you know what I mean? How can I be happy when ____. Fill in the blank with any number of things that come with living a challenging life.

Especially when things do what I call ‘avalanche’ and you start having health, relationship and financial issues – or the like - all at the same time. I needed to figure out how to dig my way out of that. I knew what happy felt like and I wanted to hold onto it!

Here I come with my “mindset magic” phrases that I love to create for myself so that I can repeat them I call them that because in many ways, they feel like magic.

If you’ve followed me for even a minute you know I’ve lived with four decades of sleep deprivation and this affects so much of my brain and the way it functions. I need to help myself as much as possible so I created little tools – and other people like them, so I share them!

It was the simplest thing that helped me really become someone who understood and could live ‘happiness is a choice’ – just two little words… Happy Matters.

Happy matters so much I trademarked it… Because I needed the reminder too. The sleepy, the symptoms, the finances, the relationships - kept trying to jump in between me and happy. I promised myself that I would never let myself forget that happy matters.

During the filming of this Dose, I had a meltdown after reading the last sentence lol. My original trademark application had problems and the ‘fix it’ notice came right in the middle of my life falling apart – so I had to let it go. My brain decided that was really sad and I started crying without even thinking about it at all. I recorded the aftermath because a lot of people watch my content and think I’m doing way better than they are – but I’m a blubbery mess quite a bit lol. I often have to just hit PAUSE on life, love myself through the tears. Thanks, narcolepsy!

Ok – back to it…

When I’m sad, when I’m frustrated, when I’m just out of energy – I look for it. I remind myself it’s all around me and all I have to do is give myself PERMISSION to let it in.

Will this work for you? Only way to find out is to start practicing it.

If you imagine your mood like a battery – letting someone else control it is essentially giving them your battery. Hold onto your personal power by always choosing what mood you want to be in and supporting yourself until you reach it… giving yourself grace along the way.

We need these reminders – our lives can be chaotic and challenging, staying on our own side is easier when we expand our thinking. We listen to thought leaders so we grow. We have our favorites. They help.

Are you loving these Doses? Will my “How To Live Happy Matters” magnet help YOU remember? Well, I’m offering the first 100 people (at USA addresses) who sign up for the dose (free) to get my “How To Live Happy Matters” magnet (free) in the mail! Visit DailyDoseofDawn to learn more!

No need to chase happy, it’s always there, waiting.
Just allow it… because you know it matters.

#DailyDoseOfDawn #SocialSkills #ProtectYourPeace #EmotionalIntelligence #MindsetMatters #ExpandYourThinking #HealthyBoundaries #EmpathLife #PeaceOverDrama #SelfGrowthJourney #HappyMatters

6 days ago (edited) | [YT] | 3

Happy Matters with Dawn Super

BEHIND THE SCENES!!
Hello Happy Matters Tribe!
A little behind the scenes shot from my upcoming “Don’t get sucked into the machine” daily dose about spotting FAKES on social media.

Talking about engagement bait of misspellings... grammar nazi just didn’t feel good. So I made it Grammar NotSee - it works super well because they can't even see it without commenting. So, please join me as I change our lexicon lol.

Spot the Fakes Dose, Vid will have screen grab examples
is scheduled to drop Oct 29 so keep an eye out for it!

1 week ago | [YT] | 2

Happy Matters with Dawn Super

Act like you want the people in your world to act – Daily Dose #40

Recently, a friend of mine hurt my feelings very deeply. Not on purpose.

Ten years ago, I would have had an attitude, been mad, given the silent treatment… wanted them to “feel bad.”

I’m different now but my old default used to be – strike first, think later.

Sleep deprivation affects your ability to control yourself.

Hypervigilance is staying overly alert, trying to control everything to prevent bad things.

But, I can’t just “blame” my narcolepsy or my past traumas and never work on my own baloney. That’s what my dad did…

The #1 thing that helped the most was to tell myself to “Have a nice steamy mug of STFU,” to help me bite my tongue.

With my son, when he was driving me crazy, I would say, “What are you… 11?” Because he was acting like a normal kid. It helped me not react.

Recently I heard, “Act like you want the people in your world to act.” I thought about that going through the emotional rollercoaster of the recent situation with my friend.

It helped me respond in a healthy way, the way I would want if it were me. So, I’m adding it to my list of things to use. That’s what it looks like to lead yourself with love – finding solutions to help you grow and implementing them.

If you need help getting there, visit my website for resources.

#MentalWellness #DailyDoseOfDawn #HappyMatters #LeadWithLove #MindsetMagic

1 week ago | [YT] | 5

Happy Matters with Dawn Super

What is the lesson?? Daily Dose of Dawn at dawn #39
OK so one of my clients has been following these doses and she asked me, “What if I have no idea what lesson I’m supposed to be learning? Will I just stay stuck in the classroom forever?”

Short answer yes. You will be stuck until you figure it out.

Longer answer is, the fact that you’re even asking the question puts you ahead of people who have not even made that realization yet – so give yourself a round of applause (clap).

So, what can you do about it? Some things that help me are:

Pull back 1000 feet – look down at the situation from a neutral place.

Look at it like a movie – ask what scenes have played out before?

Change some of the characters – spend some time alone and see if anything is different

Expand on fear – what are you afraid might happen that might be keeping you from moving forward?

Introspection – this is a tough one because it fails 70% of the time because people aren’t honest with themselves. But only when you see your part in it all can you effect change.

Talk to someone – a therapist, coach or trusted friend – maybe you’ll hear a perspective you didn’t consider before. I offer four free strategy sessions every month – pop over to DawnSuper dot com and schedule yours today! The faster you spot the lesson, the faster you graduate to a better classroom.
#LearnAndGrow #DailyDoseOfDawn #HappyMatters #LifeLessons #MindsetMagic

1 week ago | [YT] | 3

Happy Matters with Dawn Super

Love is the answer but it’s not always the solution – Daily Dose 38

You can’t love someone enough to make them love themselves. And, if someone doesn’t love themselves, they’re not going to do the things they need to do to have a healthy relationship with you.

I know this first hand. I didn’t even like myself until I was 35 years old. True story. I also had never had a healthy relationship.

I honestly didn’t know I was toxic. I was too busy feeling like a victim to my circumstances to even realize that I wasn’t loving myself.

Maybe you’re waiting for someone else to love you before you feel worthy of love? That’s a tough place to sit – trust me.

What ends up happening is you get needy and that manifests in ugly social skills, especially in romantic relationships.

If you’re with someone who doesn’t love themselves all that might sound familiar.

People-pleasing, beating themselves up all the time, putting up with toxic relationships, putting others ahead of their own needs – are all indicators that someone doesn’t love themselves enough to do what they need to do to have healthy relationships with others.

So, what can you do? If it’s you – hit the books – my book even, videos – I have over 200. Seek out any source of learning you can tap into. Try some stuff, keep trying until something clicks.
If it’s someone that you know, wish them well and go on with your life. Or pull up a chair - because you’ll be stuck in their classroom until you do.

#SelfCare #DailyDoseOfDawn #HappyMatters #SelfLove #HealthyRelationships

1 week ago | [YT] | 3

Happy Matters with Dawn Super

Everyone deserves the dignity of walking their own path – Daily Dose 37

Many years ago, now I read a book, The Empath’s Survival Guide by Judith Orloff. I found it to be life changing.

Whether or not you believe in empaths, the advice is sound. The most memorable thing I took from it was that quote, “Everyone deserves the dignity of walking their own path.”

What does that mean? It means if you know someone should make a better choice and they refuse… you let them.

It also means that you have to decide if you want to be stuck in their classroom, like we talked about last week.

My mom had a bunch of opinions that I didn’t agree with. She was living HER life. This is what we are all here to do. Not to convince each other to do things the way we think they should be done.

As a reformed people-pleaser I can tell you that you don’t get the time back. The time you spend worrying about someone, going out of your way to save them from themselves, cleaning up after their messes.

We want better for the people we love and it can be very difficult to come to terms with the fact that they don’t seem to want to.

Stop hurting yourself. That’s another phrase I tell myself when I’m bent up about someone else’s bad decision.

Get on your own path, leave them the dignity of walking theirs. Your soul will thank you. If you need support from growth-oriented people join my free On the Path community.
#PeoplePleasing #DailyDoseOfDawn #HappyMatters #PersonalGrowth #StopHurtingYourself

1 week ago | [YT] | 3