Kristen McNamara

You’re not alone. Life might not always make sense, we might miss home/family, maybe you have lost a loved one, maybe your heart is heavy for whatever reason…. the holidays can be a sensitive time for many. Embracing the small things, feeling our emotions and then learning to pave the way with good vibes, is a decent recipe for a better ride. Turning pages as we lean into the lesson and letting go of the hurt, is part of a good holiday routine. No, it’s not easy but this world is full of evil and in an evil world, we choose to be authentic, we choose truth and we choose to also be the light in the darkness.

We are safe. We are warm. We are fed. We are healthy. That right there is pure abundance.

That being said, we must not strive for perfection or fixate on what we cannot control, but choose to remember that it’s important to count our blessings and get into the feeling of how we want to feel. Remember that we do control our destiny…..

Continue growing, evolving and aiming to be someone we are proud to be. This does not mean ignore heavy emotions, as they are our guidance system. So, once we’ve taken some time to authentically feel, if those feelings don’t match and align with what we want, we then learn little by little to change the emotional channel. Again, no it’s not easy and there are good days and bad days, but with the right mindset we are capable of creating whatever life we wish, it all starts with how we feel then what we think and then what we do.

Shows are done for the week. Now….. it’s time to make a crab cake and paint some Christmas ornaments! 🎄🦀 🎨 👩🏼‍🎨

#keepgoing #Christmas #holidays #healingjourney #faith

1 week ago | [YT] | 6

Kristen McNamara

✨ Hi friends! ✨
I just wanted to pop in with a quick update!! I’m officially filming again and back in the editing cave. 🪄🎥

It’s been a wild year of change, healing, rebuilding, and rediscovering my voice, but I’m excited to say a new video is coming very, very soon. 💛

I hope you’re all having a gentle and beautiful start to the holiday season. Whether this time of year feels magical or a little heavy, just know I’m sending love your way and I can’t wait to share what I’ve been working on.

Stay tuned… new upload dropping soon. 🌙✨

Love, Kmac

1 week ago | [YT] | 13

Kristen McNamara

I once put a crown on a covert, narcissistic clown… and before I knew it, my entire life had turned into a circus.

There were red flags, flying monkeys, manipulation disguised as “love,” and a ringmaster who thrived on chaos. I kept trying to fix what I didn’t break, love harder, explain clearer, soften myself, shrink myself, and hold everything together so it wouldn’t all collapse. I didn’t realize that the show was never mine — it was his, and I was just the emotional acrobat trying to survive it.

Narcissistic abuse doesn’t happen all at once. It happens slowly, quietly, in the moments when you doubt yourself, when you’re blamed for things that aren’t yours to carry, when you’re made to question your worth, your reality, your sanity. It drains your sparkle, your voice, your confidence… piece by piece. And before you know it, you’re living in a tent full of chaos wondering how you even got there.

But here’s the truth:
I didn’t lose myself — I was buried under someone else’s projections.
And once I finally stepped back, chose myself, and walked away from the noise, I began to see clearly again. Healing wasn’t instant. It wasn’t pretty. It wasn’t peaceful. But it was powerful.

I started reclaiming the parts of me I had abandoned.
My intuition.
My joy.
My creativity.
My light.
My sparkle.

And little by little, with courage and honesty and tears and boundaries, I got her back. The girl who loves big. The girl who shines. The girl who trusts herself. The girl who doesn’t settle for crumbs or chaos or conditional love.

Today, I don’t live in a circus anymore.
I walk in peace.
I walk in truth.
I walk with my crown back where it belongs — on my own head — and not on someone who never deserved it.

And if you’re reading this from inside your own circus… I want you to know something:
You’re not crazy.
You’re not too sensitive.
You’re not hard to love.
And you’re not alone.

You’re just someone who gave your heart to a person who didn’t know how to hold it.

But your story doesn’t end here. Your sparkle comes back. Your strength returns. Your clarity sharpens. Your soul wakes up. One day you’ll look in the mirror and recognize yourself again — not the version molded by manipulation, but the version you were always meant to be.

Keep going.
Keep healing.
Keep choosing you.

There is life — and light — after the circus.
And when you walk out, you don’t just get your sparkle back…
you glow in a way you never have before.

Photo taken a few weeks ago! New videos coming soon for this new era, new chapter ❤️ #Narcissist #Healing

4 weeks ago | [YT] | 13

Kristen McNamara

After a long talk today with Ralph De Palma he taught me a few cool tid bits about my new neighborhood. In fact…..Just behind my new house in Bahama Village stands Post 168… once part of the Chitlin’ Circuit. Musical History that has me floored and would have had my grandma McNamara blown away. 

Legends like Louis Armstrong, Etta James, Dinah Washington, B.B. King, James Brown, Otis Redding, and Ruth Brown all played here in Key West.

This little yellow building wasn’t just a stage — it was a haven for Black veterans, artists, and dreamers who carved out space for music, community, and change during segregation.

After my show tonight…. Standing here now, I can feel the echoes of their voices in the warm night air. 🎶✨

My friend Larry Smith is claiming Monday nights at this location starting next Monday, 8:30pm and I cannot wait to attend the shows! love this little island!

I know I’ve been absent lately and it’s just because I’ve been moving and getting this new chapter of my life started. I have so much in store for all of you, especially in the new year, sending you all the love big hugs and lots of healing energy.

#KeyWestHistory #BahamaVillage #Post168 #ChitlinCircuit #SoulHistory #DinahWashington #BBKing #JamesBrown #OtisRedding #HiddenHistory #KeyWestVibeszgdr

1 month ago | [YT] | 3

Kristen McNamara

Narcissistic abuse is one of the most psychologically devastating forms of emotional manipulation, not because it always leaves visible scars, but because it warps your sense of reality from the inside out. It begins subtly, often disguised as love, admiration, or friendship. But over time, the narcissist begins to rewrite the story **** your story **** until you can barely recognize who you are anymore.

When a narcissist feels threatened by your independence, strength, or truth, they often turn to manipulation to maintain control. One of their most damaging tactics is triangulation: pulling in the people closest to you, your friends, your family, your coworkers and subtly poisoning them against you. They plant seeds of doubt with carefully crafted half-truths, exaggerated stories, and false concern. “I’m worried about them,” they’ll say. “They’ve changed.”

Before long, the people you trusted most begin to question you. They see only the version of you the narcissist has painted emotional, unstable, or “too sensitive.” The narcissist, now appearing calm and reasonable, becomes the victim in everyone’s eyes, while you become the “crazy one.”

This is the heart of the smear campaign. It’s not just gossip, it’s psychological warfare. The narcissist creates flying monkeys, people who unknowingly (or sometimes willingly) carry out their manipulation, spreading rumors, shaming you, and reinforcing the distorted narrative. And when your own loved ones become those flying monkeys, the pain cuts deeper than words can describe.

Those who have always had built-up resentment towards you will be the first to jump on their bandwagon, using this situation to take all of their anger and unresolved trauma out on you, blaming you saying you never take accountability when all you have tried to do is take accountability, you Get therapy and work on yourself. You even ask everybody what you’ve done yet nobody can seem to tell you. months and months and months go by sometimes even years and you are left in silence. You might even tell your loved ones that you love them and miss them dearly, willing to fix your wrongs and your shortcomings and you are met with either reactive abuse or silence.

It escalates and all of these people end up, asking family, friends, and people you’ve known for decades to shun you and block you, and because they see the pattern of everybody assuming you are “the crazy one” people join in without knowing the truth. It is a nightmare 💔

You find yourself isolated, confused, and desperate to defend yourself but every attempt to explain only seems to prove their point. You start to question your own sanity. “Maybe it is me,” you think. But deep down, you know the truth: you were targeted because you had something they didn’t… authenticity, empathy, and light.

Scapegoating is their final move. They assign all blame to you so they never have to face their own reflection. They create chaos, then point to you as the cause. The narrative becomes so twisted that even those who once loved you believe it. You are left standing alone in the wreckage, wondering how people you’d have died for could turn their backs so easily.

But here’s the truth they can never destroy: the scapegoat is not weak… they are chosen because they see through the illusion. Because their light exposes what others refuse to see. Recovery from narcissistic abuse is not just about surviving; it’s about reclaiming your voice, your truth, and your identity from the lies that were told about you.

One day, the mask will slip. The same people who doubted you will see what you saw all along. And though you may never receive the apologies you deserve, you will heal…. stronger, wiser, and finally free.

Because no smear campaign can erase the truth. And no amount of manipulation can dim the light of someone who finally remembers who they are. If this sounds familiar, or resonates with you, please know I am working on something special for those curious about healing. These situations are becoming more common as we evolve and it’s important to me to be loud for the sake of others. Hardest year of my life, a nightmare really. It takes a lot to pull yourself out of it, but it is possible.

I started this year by posting tons of videos about healing, I am taking it a step further and writing a book while also creating something coming soon, for those who truly want to heal, feel safe doing so. Rebuilding from 0 isn’t easy but it’s possible. None of us are immune to abuse or toxic chaos until we’ve truly learned the lesson and truly protect and grow into our truest self. It’s the ultimate protection. Love to you 🥰 Hang in there and stay tuned! #Abuse

1 month ago (edited) | [YT] | 11

Kristen McNamara

Phase 2: Working on the front part of the stage for Sunset Pier ~ Key West! I really wanted to make this special for all my fellow musicians and talented friends who play on that stage. This is one 8ft panel of a 16ft mural. This will have to be done in stages, literally. I left the metal out on this one for sound quality purposes for live shows. I’m hopeful that the musicians will be excited about that. The bottom half will be done at a later date but I thought I would share a little progress with you all. My dad always said “Try to take a picture of every sunset that you see for you’ll never see one exactly the same” The world is heavy and we all should take a break to recharge and look at the sunset.

This piece carries the unparalleled legacy of My grandma McNamara as she loved the ocean and was one of the greatest pianists to ever live. Anytime I feel lost or scared. I think of what she would say… That alone has helped carry me this year. I was standing on the stage that I am painting for, when I found out that the original sunset piano painting that I had done 4 years ago, had been purchased from the gallery, and I won a local award for. Little did I know the people who purchased it happen to be my two cousins Lacey & Danielle… I am so grateful they own the original idea for this artwork and that it has stayed in the family. My twin cousin Lacey (our dads are brothers and we were born on the same day and the same year in the same hospital) got me new paint brushes for my birthday this year and I used those brushes to paint this. Now, a gigantic version of a newly painted mural in honor of not just my grandma McNamara, but all of the musicians here in Key West and the belief and support that Ocean key resort has shown me, my art & music over the years, will soon live on the stage at sunset pier. 

If you are hurt or you are doubting yourself or you feel lonely, broken or lost… just remember it’s OK to take a deep breath, also remember - you are stronger than you think, keep going.

 🫶🏼💖🎨👩🏼‍🎨 🎹

#artist #keywest #sunsetpier

2 months ago | [YT] | 6

Kristen McNamara

Tonight! I have the honor to be performing the Star Spangled Banner for the Key West Police Department Love Fund Ball, then I’ll be hopping on stage to do my show at La Te Da!! 🎶 Showtime: 8:30PM 🎤 🎸 Excited to see you all! Happy Saturday, hoping you’re having a fantastic weekend. 🫶🏼 More videos coming soon! Lots of positive life changes, can’t wait to bring ya along!!!! Xo

2 months ago | [YT] | 11

Kristen McNamara

Rainy days with my girl. I’ve waited for a rainy day to just cuddle up with Truffles and read a book. I have come so far but healing is not linear. It’s been difficult to write music about it because I don’t want to sing about it, but as I heal I’ve learned my writing doesn’t have to just be sewn into music. As I read many books, I find time here and there to continue writing my own. Until that’s finished, I will continue to do my best to recommend some! I miss some who are silent towards me for unknown reasons, caught up in manipulation most likely. Maybe they were annoyed that I was on edge, of course I was. I was in a state of survival. There is absolutely no good reason for anyone to lie about what I’ve been through. It’s the last thing that I ever wanted to be true. The emptiness I experienced when I finally had the courage to not only be honest with myself, but others around me… was un fathomable. I just needed a safe place, I just needed to hear that I was loved and believed. Admitting this alone, is embarrassing yet healing.

I do not miss those who tried to destroy me. I am learning to stand on my own even in the silence of living a life I never imagined, buried by truth. Truth that has been ignored and silenced among some of my most trusted. The part they don’t tell you when you heal as an artist, silence isn’t part of our journey. Creating, writing, expressing and connecting with those who also have endured similar situations while sharing what has helped us heal, is part of it for me. If you’ve ever endured this type of low, you know that if it weren’t for people sharing their stories documentaries books and more… We wouldn’t be able to grow as a society and learn what is right and what is wrong. What we have learned to normalize and what is just no longer OK. So before anyone criticizes someone for openly sharing their story, it might feel uncomfortable to you because this is a side of that person that you don’t know… But it’s important to let them express themselves and their truth without cutting them off, if you truly love them. It doesn’t mean you have to fix their problems. It doesn’t mean you have to lose your peace over their problems, but having a little human compassion can go a very long way.

I realize this chapter of my life isn’t for everyone and many cringe at my posts. I also know how powerful it is to be transparent. Had I not found community and support in my therapy, Al-Anon, Abuse Recovery Programs, Books, Professionals, Friends, Cousins and Law Enforcement, Legal Representatives, My own video footage and pictures full of proof that sadly matched many other people who went through similar experiences… I would have been in a very dark place. I still cannot even really listen to much music. I know this is a common side effect of still being in the recovery phase.

We don’t have to accept bad conditions and behaviors over and over again. Boundaries are only threatening to those who refuse to respect them. Many criticized me for going public with my healing and that’s on them. This is my story and my truth. If you are being called “crazy” for exposing the truth about something that was very real, I feel you. If you are someone brave enough to share the truth of abuse, of any kind…. Thank you. If it weren’t for others who were willing to speak up in fear of “looking crazy” or “cringe” I would have been dangerously lost.

If you’re looking for a book to read in understanding why we stay quiet, why we get stuck in these patterns and how we can begin to change that… this book by Dr.Ramani has been my light at the end of a very dark and lonely tunnel.

Thank you for allowing me to heal loudly, during one of the hardest chapters of my life. If you find yourself, missing your family and loved ones and do not understand why you are being shunned and why your abuser was able to manipulate everyone. Even when you have the proof in videos and pictures and emails and recordings… yet nobody responds and nobody will speak to you. You are not alone. The silence I am experiencing is the most painful thing I never imagined I would go through. Being alienated, lied to, lied about, stonewalled, gaslit, and abused behind closed doors in silence is a torturous act I would never wish upon anyone.  I am so lucky to still have my childhood best friend by my side via phone and Truffles. I am so lucky to have many of you who have shown me the support that I definitely have needed. I’m a proud person who never was big on feeling comfortable in the victim role. I am so grateful for all of you. Thank you. Unfortunately, I had to admit to myself that I was a victim of some very serious chaos, while I do not plan to stay on that channel forever. This is a process so that I do not repeat the same patterns. That is why this is not something that is completely healed overnight. 

Before I had the guts to actually call the sheriffs department, I would call the violence hotline on Google to avoid being ‘that person’. I was afraid of looking bad. I was afraid of people, knowing my personal business. I would lie and say that I was safe, don’t let it get to the point where you’re locked in a closet hiding from someone threatening your life. Don’t let it get to the point where someone has you pinned on the floor and you can’t breathe and all you can do is try to scratch your way out of it, then blame yourself and allow others to blame you for the actual abuse.

You are not alone.

National domestic violence hotline 1-800-799-7233

Or just use 911.

#mentalhealth #healing #love

Highly recommended: amzn.to/4pcX82I

‪@DoctorRamani‬

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3 months ago (edited) | [YT] | 5

Kristen McNamara

Thank goodness for YouTube.

One of the many reasons I’m contemplating leaving Facebook altogether. This morning an old post popped up with a ton of comments of people not reading the date on the post. No I am not engaged, I am very single. I have had to admit some very painful truth to not only help heal myself in the years that I stayed silent but also to encourage others to get out of unhealthy situations and to remind them, they’re not alone. The post that recirculated is a great example of how something can look on the outside, but you never know what’s happening behind closed doors.

I have spent the last year recovering and healing from the severe abuse and cheating I endured and would like to announce that I am NOT in a relationship, I had the guts to finally walk away and lost nearly everything including my home, and some of my loved ones. Some sided with my abuser while falling for their lies, I certainly cannot blame them for that, as I fell for the lies too. Some were very uncomfortable that I went public with my healing… But when you lose everything and everyone - that silence gave me a lot of perspective. I knew how important it was for me to be public about this to keep me on track, plus when you lose everything and everyone those are the types of decisions that you make. You’re forced to look into the uncomfortable. You’re forced to look at your mistakes you’re forced to look at why and how you got into the situation that you’re in to begin with. And I chose to do that loudly because I know how many other people are living in silence like I used to. I also believe to my core that I’m already used to sharing my life with the public and it’s important to remember that just because I’m on a stage doesn’t make me perfect.

I have made a YouTube series called The Daily Healing Journal while also going to therapy, while I navigate what my new life will look like. I’ve always considered myself a very strong woman, but I’ve learned that these types of abusers go for people like that.

It is embarrassing and defeating to openly admit this but if you know me, you know that I am a truth person and I believe in authenticity and I chose to use my platform to not only show you that it’s OK to admit when you’re in trouble and it’s also OK to grow and remind others, they are not alone. I am still recovering and ask that you please read things before you fall for them or comment on them. This is a great example of how propaganda is so powerful in our country. I know people make mistakes, but it’s a great lesson. Use your eyes before reaction.

This road has been very difficult and this has been one of the hardest years of my life. Thank you for your support. And thank you to those who have supported me through this absolute nightmare, you know who you are. 

If you are experiencing abuse, I’m going to recommend calling this phone number that I called many times, in hiding - until I had the courage to walk away : 1-800-799-7233

Ps:
Many are asking me why I didn’t leave sooner. Abuse can be very complex. I thought this person could change, and I felt like I was betraying them by leaving them. I also truly loved them, or who I thought they were. But who I actually loved was who I thought they could be… I lived in silence for a very long time. I lied for this person to try to protect them, and I even lied to myself to try to protect myself. These are the moments and the things that are hard to admit out loud, especially when those who I thought would be there for me, went silent on me. This has been the hardest year of my life, and I am no longer the same person. When the book comes out, you can read it there.

Thank you again to everyone who has been supportive going through this in silence I knew was never a healthy thing for me and could’ve cost me irreversible damage. Being truthful can be lonely standing up for yourself can be lonely. You’re labeled as “the crazy one” and “unstable”, I think it’s safe to say anybody who has endured abuse definitely has an out of whack nervous system, and reacting to something that is actually crazy is the true root and can definitely come across like the crazy one. The truth is being loud about the honesty of the situation is what saved me. I was left in silence alone with no support from those who I was closest with. All I needed was love and a hug I did didn’t need anybody to fix my problems. I knew that this mess was something I had to handle.

If you are someone who rolls their eyes at this kind of content, it’s one of three things.

1. You’re lucky enough to have never had to endure this kind of abuse and it makes you uncomfortable so you simply have that just get over it mentality, which does not work for this type of situation. It’s a process so that you stop repeating the same patterns and learn to identify abusers moving forward.

2. You are an abuser.

3. You are someone who has been abused and you are still unhealed so you normalize this kind of toxic behavior and it annoys and triggers you when other people reveal the truth.

Recognizing that I was reacting because I was in a very dangerous situation, was a very real thing for me. So while there are people out there that are offended that I was so loud about this, actually opening up about the truth is what stabilized me. Thank you for letting me express myself loudly.


Dr. Ramani’s book “It’s Not You” amzn.to/3HLBGRr

#abuse #recovery #truth #healingjouney #drramani

3 months ago (edited) | [YT] | 7

Kristen McNamara

Little miss lizard breath pushed him in the pool…. Forced him to stay underwater for 20 mins until he tried to come up for air, she licked, sniffed and nipped at his nose when he came up for air, went back under water and then he found a safe zone on the rocks. Up the palm tree he went…. The saga continues…. 🤢🦎 Hello from Key West! 🏝️

New Vlog Coming this week! #keywest #vlog

4 months ago | [YT] | 2