One of the many reasons I’m contemplating leaving Facebook altogether. This morning an old post popped up with a ton of comments of people not reading the date on the post. No I am not engaged, I am very single. I have had to admit some very painful truth to not only help heal myself in the years that I stayed silent but also to encourage others to get out of unhealthy situations and to remind them, they’re not alone. The post that recirculated is a great example of how something can look on the outside, but you never know what’s happening behind closed doors.
I have spent the last year recovering and healing from the severe abuse and cheating I endured and would like to announce that I am NOT in a relationship, I had the guts to finally walk away and lost nearly everything including my home, and some of my loved ones. Some sided with my abuser while falling for their lies, I certainly cannot blame them for that, as I fell for the lies too. Some were very uncomfortable that I went public with my healing… But when you lose everything and everyone - that silence gave me a lot of perspective. I knew how important it was for me to be public about this to keep me on track, plus when you lose everything and everyone those are the types of decisions that you make. You’re forced to look into the uncomfortable. You’re forced to look at your mistakes you’re forced to look at why and how you got into the situation that you’re in to begin with. And I chose to do that loudly because I know how many other people are living in silence like I used to. I also believe to my core that I’m already used to sharing my life with the public and it’s important to remember that just because I’m on a stage doesn’t make me perfect.
I have made a YouTube series called The Daily Healing Journal while also going to therapy, while I navigate what my new life will look like. I’ve always considered myself a very strong woman, but I’ve learned that these types of abusers go for people like that.
It is embarrassing and defeating to openly admit this but if you know me, you know that I am a truth person and I believe in authenticity and I chose to use my platform to not only show you that it’s OK to admit when you’re in trouble and it’s also OK to grow and remind others, they are not alone. I am still recovering and ask that you please read things before you fall for them or comment on them. This is a great example of how propaganda is so powerful in our country. I know people make mistakes, but it’s a great lesson. Use your eyes before reaction.
This road has been very difficult and this has been one of the hardest years of my life. Thank you for your support. And thank you to those who have supported me through this absolute nightmare, you know who you are. 
If you are experiencing abuse, I’m going to recommend calling this phone number that I called many times, in hiding - until I had the courage to walk away : 1-800-799-7233
Ps: Many are asking me why I didn’t leave sooner. Abuse can be very complex. I thought this person could change, and I felt like I was betraying them by leaving them. I also truly loved them, or who I thought they were. But who I actually loved was who I thought they could be… I lived in silence for a very long time. I lied for this person to try to protect them, and I even lied to myself to try to protect myself. These are the moments and the things that are hard to admit out loud, especially when those who I thought would be there for me, went silent on me. This has been the hardest year of my life, and I am no longer the same person. When the book comes out, you can read it there.
Thank you again to everyone who has been supportive going through this in silence I knew was never a healthy thing for me and could’ve cost me irreversible damage. Being truthful can be lonely standing up for yourself can be lonely. You’re labeled as “the crazy one” and “unstable”, I think it’s safe to say anybody who has endured abuse definitely has an out of whack nervous system, and reacting to something that is actually crazy is the true root and can definitely come across like the crazy one. The truth is being loud about the honesty of the situation is what saved me. I was left in silence alone with no support from those who I was closest with. All I needed was love and a hug I did didn’t need anybody to fix my problems. I knew that this mess was something I had to handle.
If you are someone who rolls their eyes at this kind of content, it’s one of three things.
1. You’re lucky enough to have never had to endure this kind of abuse and it makes you uncomfortable so you simply have that just get over it mentality, which does not work for this type of situation. It’s a process so that you stop repeating the same patterns and learn to identify abusers moving forward.
2. You are an abuser.
3. You are someone who has been abused and you are still unhealed so you normalize this kind of toxic behavior and it annoys and triggers you when other people reveal the truth.
Recognizing that I was reacting because I was in a very dangerous situation, was a very real thing for me. So while there are people out there that are offended that I was so loud about this, actually opening up about the truth is what stabilized me. Thank you for letting me express myself loudly.
Kristen McNamara
Thank goodness for YouTube.
One of the many reasons I’m contemplating leaving Facebook altogether. This morning an old post popped up with a ton of comments of people not reading the date on the post. No I am not engaged, I am very single. I have had to admit some very painful truth to not only help heal myself in the years that I stayed silent but also to encourage others to get out of unhealthy situations and to remind them, they’re not alone. The post that recirculated is a great example of how something can look on the outside, but you never know what’s happening behind closed doors.
I have spent the last year recovering and healing from the severe abuse and cheating I endured and would like to announce that I am NOT in a relationship, I had the guts to finally walk away and lost nearly everything including my home, and some of my loved ones. Some sided with my abuser while falling for their lies, I certainly cannot blame them for that, as I fell for the lies too. Some were very uncomfortable that I went public with my healing… But when you lose everything and everyone - that silence gave me a lot of perspective. I knew how important it was for me to be public about this to keep me on track, plus when you lose everything and everyone those are the types of decisions that you make. You’re forced to look into the uncomfortable. You’re forced to look at your mistakes you’re forced to look at why and how you got into the situation that you’re in to begin with. And I chose to do that loudly because I know how many other people are living in silence like I used to. I also believe to my core that I’m already used to sharing my life with the public and it’s important to remember that just because I’m on a stage doesn’t make me perfect.
I have made a YouTube series called The Daily Healing Journal while also going to therapy, while I navigate what my new life will look like. I’ve always considered myself a very strong woman, but I’ve learned that these types of abusers go for people like that.
It is embarrassing and defeating to openly admit this but if you know me, you know that I am a truth person and I believe in authenticity and I chose to use my platform to not only show you that it’s OK to admit when you’re in trouble and it’s also OK to grow and remind others, they are not alone. I am still recovering and ask that you please read things before you fall for them or comment on them. This is a great example of how propaganda is so powerful in our country. I know people make mistakes, but it’s a great lesson. Use your eyes before reaction.
This road has been very difficult and this has been one of the hardest years of my life. Thank you for your support. And thank you to those who have supported me through this absolute nightmare, you know who you are. 
If you are experiencing abuse, I’m going to recommend calling this phone number that I called many times, in hiding - until I had the courage to walk away : 1-800-799-7233
Ps:
Many are asking me why I didn’t leave sooner. Abuse can be very complex. I thought this person could change, and I felt like I was betraying them by leaving them. I also truly loved them, or who I thought they were. But who I actually loved was who I thought they could be… I lived in silence for a very long time. I lied for this person to try to protect them, and I even lied to myself to try to protect myself. These are the moments and the things that are hard to admit out loud, especially when those who I thought would be there for me, went silent on me. This has been the hardest year of my life, and I am no longer the same person. When the book comes out, you can read it there.
Thank you again to everyone who has been supportive going through this in silence I knew was never a healthy thing for me and could’ve cost me irreversible damage. Being truthful can be lonely standing up for yourself can be lonely. You’re labeled as “the crazy one” and “unstable”, I think it’s safe to say anybody who has endured abuse definitely has an out of whack nervous system, and reacting to something that is actually crazy is the true root and can definitely come across like the crazy one. The truth is being loud about the honesty of the situation is what saved me. I was left in silence alone with no support from those who I was closest with. All I needed was love and a hug I did didn’t need anybody to fix my problems. I knew that this mess was something I had to handle.
If you are someone who rolls their eyes at this kind of content, it’s one of three things.
1. You’re lucky enough to have never had to endure this kind of abuse and it makes you uncomfortable so you simply have that just get over it mentality, which does not work for this type of situation. It’s a process so that you stop repeating the same patterns and learn to identify abusers moving forward.
2. You are an abuser.
3. You are someone who has been abused and you are still unhealed so you normalize this kind of toxic behavior and it annoys and triggers you when other people reveal the truth.
Recognizing that I was reacting because I was in a very dangerous situation, was a very real thing for me. So while there are people out there that are offended that I was so loud about this, actually opening up about the truth is what stabilized me. Thank you for letting me express myself loudly.
Dr. Ramani’s book “It’s Not You” amzn.to/3HLBGRr
#abuse #recovery #truth #healingjouney #drramani
3 months ago (edited) | [YT] | 7