The Onion is America's Finest News Source.


The Onion

Prison Guards Burn Another Pile Of Used Underwear Sent To Luigi Mangione theonion.com/prison-guards-burn-another-pile-of-us…

54 minutes ago | [YT] | 4,400

The Onion

2-Year-Old Unaware He’s Basis For 6 Couples’ Decisions Not To Have Kids
Read Full Story: theonion.com/2-year-old-unaware-he-s-basis-for-6-c…

1 day ago | [YT] | 42,785

The Onion

Attorney Friends Catch Up While Briskly Walking Down Courthouse Steps
Read Full Story: theonion.com/attorney-friends-catch-up-while-brisk…

1 day ago | [YT] | 15,774

The Onion

Ultimately cheaper than joining a cult. Become an Onion member today. Join America's Finest Membership here: membership.theonion.com/?campaign=701a500001gUoujA…

2 days ago (edited) | [YT] | 14,307

The Onion

RFK Jr. Starts National Registry Of Introverts Who Sometimes Get Social Anxiety
Read Full Story: theonion.com/rfk-jr-starts-national-registry-of-in…

2 days ago | [YT] | 38,173

The Onion

NASA Announces Moon Will Be Leaving Earth’s Orbit To Take On New Position With Bigger Planet
Read Full Story: theonion.com/nasa-announces-moon-will-be-leaving-e…

3 days ago | [YT] | 28,304

The Onion

Vatican Coroner Confirms Eucharistic Overdose
Read Full Story: theonion.com/vatican-coroner-confirms-eucharistic-…

3 days ago | [YT] | 10,015

The Onion

Timeline Of Pope Francis’ Life
Read Full Story Here: theonion.com/timeline-of-pope-francis-life/

3 days ago | [YT] | 6,716

The Onion

Frustrated CEO Stuck In Dead-End 7-Figure Job
Read Full Story: theonion.com/frustrated-ceo-stuck-in-dead-end-7-fi…

4 days ago | [YT] | 46,277

The Onion

RFK Jr. Flushes Nation’s Antidepressants
Read Full Story: theonion.com/rfk-jr-flushes-nations-antidepressant…

4 days ago | [YT] | 17,727