The Onion

2-Year-Old Unaware He’s Basis For 6 Couples’ Decisions Not To Have Kids
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21 hours ago | [YT] | 39,377

The Onion

Attorney Friends Catch Up While Briskly Walking Down Courthouse Steps
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1 day ago | [YT] | 15,045

The Onion

Ultimately cheaper than joining a cult. Become an Onion member today. Join America's Finest Membership here: membership.theonion.com/?campaign=701a500001gUoujA…

2 days ago (edited) | [YT] | 13,890

The Onion

RFK Jr. Starts National Registry Of Introverts Who Sometimes Get Social Anxiety
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2 days ago | [YT] | 37,453

The Onion

NASA Announces Moon Will Be Leaving Earth’s Orbit To Take On New Position With Bigger Planet
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2 days ago | [YT] | 28,239

The Onion

Vatican Coroner Confirms Eucharistic Overdose
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3 days ago | [YT] | 10,004

The Onion

Timeline Of Pope Francis’ Life
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3 days ago | [YT] | 6,708

The Onion

Frustrated CEO Stuck In Dead-End 7-Figure Job
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3 days ago | [YT] | 46,265

The Onion

RFK Jr. Flushes Nation’s Antidepressants
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4 days ago | [YT] | 17,718

The Onion

Woman Worried Student Loans Could Prevent Her From One Day Owning Entirely Different Kind Of Crippling Debt
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4 days ago | [YT] | 33,263