Alan Robarge / Attachment Trauma Therapist
Hello. My videos are about relationships - healing the pain of being stuck in romantic, partner relationships, unable to end-leave, and heartbreak. As a psychotherapist, healing means grieving our losses. I explore emotional triggers, self-doubt, and attachment wounds from toxic, dysfunctional families.
I examine developmental childhood attachment trauma and its lifelong impact on partner relationships. Couples counseling as repair includes reviewing codependency, love addiction, loss of self, fear of vulnerability and intimacy, living with emptiness from emotional neglect, feeling unseen, and being ignored. If your inner life is dismissed, then you're not known. If you're not known, you feel you don't matter.
Trauma recovery includes inner child work, reparenting, secure attachment, and better boundaries. I address abandonment fears, loneliness, toxic shame, trust issues. Emotional resilience balances dysregulated nervous systems. We rewire our brain. We find our voice. We heal.
Alan Robarge / Attachment Trauma Therapist
I have a channel update! I've been thinking about something lately....
What if the videos that feel the most alive to make are also the ones that help you feel most alive while watching them?
Not in some performative "GET PUMPED" way. But in that quiet moment where something clicks and you realize - oh, I'm not just consuming content, I'm actually experiencing something real about myself right now.
That's what I'm after. That's what therapy does. And honestly? That's what I want these videos to do too.
Made something new that captures this. It's a channel update, but really it's more like.... a reminder of what we're doing here together. The kind of work that asks you to drop in, not just watch.
It includes sharing a poem I wrote recently about "how do you love the world?"
Curious if it lands for you.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NlODP...
Question: How do you love the world?
3 weeks ago (edited) | [YT] | 49
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Alan Robarge / Attachment Trauma Therapist
I loved making this video. It really captures the type of videos I prefer, which means process and drop down into what you are feeling. It, hopefully, asks you to go on a "journey" with me during the viewing. Now, I know this is not everyone's cup of tea. And I know people click off of the video if it doesn't offer some quick nugget of cognitive info/takeaway. I am really trying to recreate/create ways to experience yourself through the content. Not always easy or successful.... but this is my approach. I am actually not being very favored right now with the wonderful youtube algorithm. My video views have taken a dive since I returned to sharing these types of videos. Hmm.... please share this link with others if you value this type of video. Hopefully more views will help others find it. thanks. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zCxjf...
2 months ago | [YT] | 36
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Alan Robarge / Attachment Trauma Therapist
Hello.... I'm back. lol.
Thank you for the thoughtful comments and messages during my absence. It's clear this work resonates with many of you navigating similar territory.
My first video in this new series is live: "Stuck, Triggered, & Crushed? How Therapy Helps Us Heal the False Self and Find Our True Identity." If you haven't seen it yet, check it out. I'm curious to know if it resonates with you. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Lguf...
I examine three fundamental states that bring many of us to therapy:
***Stuck - disconnected from essential resources like clarity, purpose, and inner compass
***Triggered - nervous system dysregulation, that "bees buzzing" disconnect from calm
***Crushed - the liminal space of heartbreak living between who you were and who you're becoming
What matters isn't just managing these states - it's understanding how they reveal our relationship with the false self, that survival persona we constructed when the world felt unwelcoming. And if you've ever realized you've been living as someone you're not, I have empathy for you - that discovery can be so disorienting and grief-inducing.
I've been working on some things during this break that feel important to share. There's a newsletter now where I can go deeper into these concepts. The first one explores what it means to feel stuck - not just surface-level frustration, but that profound sense of being cut off from your own resources. I also created a 43-page workbook called Finding Yourself that goes alongside the video. It's designed to help you reconnect with who you are underneath all the layers.
I needed time away, and I talk about some of that in the newsletter. But this next phase focuses on what I've always been most interested in: those attachment patterns that shape how we move through the world, the particular loneliness that comes from not knowing who you are underneath all the roles you play, and what it looks like to find your way back to yourself when you realize you've been living someone else's version of your life.
Question for you:
What's one thing you're working on understanding about yourself these days?
3 months ago (edited) | [YT] | 64
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