idoblenderstuffs

Photo of me from Halloween night + FUNTIME FREDDY TEST RENDER eek.

I dressed as Nemesis from Resident Evil 3 (1999 ver) while in Whitby for the goth week shit. Got me feeling proper lesbian in this.

While out there I did get these two fnaf plushies (photo attached) at some shop where they were £16 each, which is fantastic price for the best springbonnie plush in existence. What's even cooler is that you're not supposed to be able to buy these in retail. Stock is only sent to claw machine companies for some reason which is insane gatekeeping honestly. Resellers on eBay go for at least £20 so I got a bargain and I'm happy about that. When I got home and showed my mum, her reaction was that I should've gotten the full set (despite totalling to £96?? Unlike her). I just didn't really want the others because the toy animatronics aren't even plot relevant, whereas William and Charlotte here have actually interesting characters I could write essays on.

Finished funtime Freddy today after finally upgrading my blender to 4.5 (was on 4.1 because of Kartina consistency) and changed a good amount of the materials properties and such. The lighting isn't that great here for actually showing him off because im bad at sister location style lights apparently. I like how the model turned out though even if you can't see it just because he was really hard to get right and I really hated him for most of it.

I still haven't started work on the Kartina behind the scenes video and shot manager plugin release because I've just gotten back to college and remembered how FUCKING MISERABLE IT IS cuz I just go there to stare blankly into the distance all day which does nothing but waste my time and piss me off and then I'm angry once I'm home. They give me drastically lower amounts of work that should justify it being a full time course. I go in 4 days a week when I could easily do it with just one, plus I have no proper friends to ever talk to during break so FUCK ME I guess it's just boring. Point is I'm feeling too shit to do anything actually important once I finally get home.

I miss having real friends and I miss having a relationship, even though I've only ever been with guys and am now lesbian, I miss that during every break at college there was at least just someone to spend that time with. Now I just stand still and do nothing and try not to think at all because being left alone with my own thoughts upsets me.

Looking forward to FNaF 2 movie coming out on Dec 5 so I can go in and watch it first screening and then watch it several more times since I don't wanna wait the 5 months for it to be on streaming (and have good quality pirates) before I can rewatch it.

Go watch Kartina btw if you somehow haven't like what the fuck man.

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1 week ago | [YT] | 12

idoblenderstuffs

GO WATCH KARTINA on the DIRE THORNS channel, its a full anim from me please!!!!!
it came out YESTERDAY actually but i was too busy to make this graphic.

its at 104 views right now. get it to at least 1k and i will be content with my past YEAR of my life i spent on this (longer than that actually).

i know it probably shouldve took more like 6 months but shut up im a busy person and guess what you didnt just put out peak did you?

next project im gonna work on for maybe a week while im off college is the behind the scenes video which will also be the release for my blender plugin (which helped a LOT making this video, wouldnt be possible without it). you guys keeping up with my posts already know this but yeah.

3 weeks ago | [YT] | 12

idoblenderstuffs

kartina thumbnail finished today!!!! VIDEO RELEASES TOMORROW!!!!!
yeah its not gonna be square but youtube posts prefer square pictures.
dunno when the thumbnail is actually getting applied to the video and premiere but look out for it.

this image in particular takes a lot of inspiration from that one poster for Dormitabis where its cakebear's eyes just giving you a stare with ">Dormitabis" below him. this does a lot different but thats vaguely where i got the ideas from.

recently had a really bad headache which has lasted multiple days and i STILL have it but its not really hurting me right now. its weird when you know you have a headache, even though it doesnt feel bad, but you know its still there and ready to strike again.

next plan is to work on the behind the scenes video for this, and to finish my shot manager blender plugin so i can FINALLY release that for you all. the main reason why im even doing the BTS video is just because i know full well that 90% of my subscribers do not look at these community posts, and only watch my videos... whenever i make those.

the youtube collaborators feature is great, but unfortunately doesnt really treat a collaboration as an actual video of yours, so its less likely that my viewers will actually go and watch it despite it being a new full idoblenderstuffs animation.. even though it isnt fnaf related. really wish youtube could just let us have the same video on both channels, and it count as a proper video, without just uploading the same thing twice (especially since duplicate uploads like that are against the rules!)

im going to some place i forget with my brother and sister (and sisters boyfriend) on the 27th for a week so definitely the first actual holiday ive had in 9 something years. neat. gonna try and work on writing down everything needed for the behind the scenes video while im there and possibly write the finishing updates for the shots plugin in whatever time i do get.

oh also i finished funtime foxy for the most part, here he is (second image).

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3 weeks ago | [YT] | 11

idoblenderstuffs

PREMIERE IS UP please watch Kartina on October 24th!!
This has been a year of my life and is a full animation from me, please go see it.

Also I know there isn't a proper thumbnail yet, I'm working on that.

3 weeks ago | [YT] | 4

idoblenderstuffs

Got more motivation to do funtime foxys endo today
KARTINA RELEASES 24TH OCTOBER + THERES A LYRIC VIDEO OUT NOW GO WATCH IT!!!!!!!!!!

and now about this model. I've been trying to implement a lot of things we hear about the funtime endos in lore, but don't really see in game. You can kinda see here there is a special box thing that opens up to be a cavity where they can store naughty children inside. I also made sure that the cavity appears airtight since it's canonically soundproof, and wanted that to look plausible, as many of these models don't do that. It's tricky to add this cavity with funtime foxy just because of how slim he is, but when I get to the others it should be fine. Ballora might be even harder though.

I was looking at the actual funtime endo model that Scott made, Yenndo (why is it called that btw), and noticed that he for some reason has the top half of an illusion disk covering his crotch (you can Google it, weird stuff). It's such a strange design choice I don't get it. I checked his model in help wanted 2 made by steel wool, and discovered they had actually made his crotch more sensible, however also noticed that he's SOLID. As in his whole body is a solid clump of plastic now, and rather than looking like wires, it just looks like he has scales. It's really really weird.

Apart from making this model, I've been firstly wrapping up kartina (releases 24th plus there's a lyric video out right now on the dire thorns channel), but also been playing a LOT of dead by daylight as a survivor. I've primarily played killer for a majority of my 470 hours I have in the game now, but I've been trying my hardest to get actually good at the other side. I tried using the perk Dead Hard for a while, since it's a strong perk that requires skill, but I just didn't enjoy how many times I'd get robbed from it because of my connection being a bit too slow. I'm now using Sprint Burst instead and having a lot of fun working around it. Nobody to play with though so it's been entirely solo queue, what joys.

Now to yap slightly about my personal life it's been okay I guess. I'm really into this person and basically just shitting myself when around her because I don't wanna make myself seem weird and I'm trying hard to be an interesting person and stuff but feel like I'm doing it wrong even when I actually do. I'm just trying hard not to overthink things, like how whenever I message her she most likely just doesn't respond and I end up feeling embarrassed and deleting the message but I have to distract myself and not wonder why she's not responding or else I will spiral.

Go watch the Kartina lyric video NOW on the dire thorns channel seriously why haven't you seen it yet and plus be aware of when the full music video comes out on the 24th be there or be square and tell all your friends because the song is peak.

4 weeks ago | [YT] | 9

idoblenderstuffs

The VISUALISER for Kartina is now out
Remember this is not the full music video we have been talking about for a year: that comes shortly.
Please go watch this 🙏

1 month ago | [YT] | 8

idoblenderstuffs

Been starting work on making the funtime animatronics because I need them for an MSD reason I will not spoil, firstly funtime foxy for some reason.

That's fur on the back of his head, yeah. I also didn't use the regular blender hair system for this, instead using it to instance a plane with just the top half of a silhouette of a tree texture on it all over the furry surface and with some normals fuckery it looks pretty damn good. Maybe regular hair particles could look better but guess what fuck you.

Oh also his eyes close like camera shutters which I thought would be really cool because you get to have the "moment where the robot goes evil and his eyes turn scary" in a way which doesn't look THAT ridiculous. Second photo attached shows this at like 50% closed to give you an idea.

I plan to focus more on the circusy theme of the funtimes, while still retaining what makes them who they are. I took inspiration from The Hare's concept art he posted although his designs stray a lot further from the source material and try a bit too hard to be creepy looking for my taste, as these are supposed to perform for children apparently.

In other news my social life is getting a lot better all of a sudden, primarily because of two new people. Or well, one of them I met last year when she was playing five nights at Candy's remastered on one of the college PCs and I happened to be near her. Never got her name at the time but around two weeks ago I did and I've been trying to spend more time around her when I can. She's a trans woman like me but she's like 0% progressed in that transition so they just look like a regular guy, which I guess is better than some people who get 10% in and just end up looking weird.

What's more important though is the other person who I've met through her. This one is the second ever cis woman that I've been friends with which is great because I really wanted to get over my fear of them and its helping. I haven't really told her much about my blender stuffs yet but she seems to actually take interest in me and I've even shared some more surface level political opinions and she's reacted normally to them which is good.

Though I'm still kinda freaked out as to why Sarah cut me off despite barely knowing me but it's much easier to not think about it when I have other things going on now.

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1 month ago | [YT] | 20

idoblenderstuffs

been working on refining the intro sequence of MSD before i fully focus on chapter one right now. heres a little look at it.

in other words uh idk if i did mention it but kartina is 100% finished unless we change our minds on something. i havent actually watched the whole thing yet myself but its exported and i guess i just havent gotten around to watching it in full like that.

college is EXTREMELY boring because we get nowhere near enough work to do and so most lessons are just sitting completely still for 2.5 hours trying my hardest to zone out. im at a point in my life where i dont really have many friends and certainly nobody whos "best friend" material, which is hard since i spent like 10 years of my life used to the dynamic of having two extremely close best friends but that all fell apart almost two years ago and its getting to me badly now. somehow my "super antisocial" friend managed to actually befriend this girl pretty quickly (lets call her Sarah), and i took the opportunity to snatch that friend for myself since the social barrier had already been broken and it was okay to talk to this person so why not make them my best friend. she was actually great and very quickly decided we should all go on a day out together and started planning it. we had a date in mind, but the very night before she cancelled, said something came up apparently to do with her dad.

the next day she didnt really get to talk to me, and the one after i woudlve had a lesson with her but she asked to sit by herself. i get that, people need space sometimes. but what confused me was that she wasnt sat by herself, but instead with a different friend. weird, but i tried not to overthink it. the next day comes around and shes actively avoiding me, i see her in a corridor, she sees me, and she turns 180 degrees to find another way around. i was genuinely panicking all day because like why??? did someone tell her something about me? was it even true??? will i EVER even know why? and of course this all accumulated when during the start of my final lesson i looked at my phone to see that she had blocked me, as well as blocked my other friend who i met her through. yes i had a panic attack. yes i had to ask to leave the room. yes i went on a bus home immediately and went to bed.

its not even the fact that Sarah doesnt like me anymore, its the constant questions as to WHY. one (previously working) theory was that while organising that day out, she told her dad about me and my friend, and he said she cant see us anymore because we are transgender. but the other theory is that someone told her something behind my back that is either completely not true, or an extreme stretch of the truth. my best idea as to what she was told about is this one event which happened multiple years ago in secondary school, where this group of people during lunch time were literally throwing trash at me, calling me slurs, and calling me a pedo (i have no idea where this came from as i havent ever had any sort of false accusations against me, it was just transphobia). my immediate reaction was to grab one of them, throw them into a wall, and start kicking them on the floor. apparently, this one in particular was female, which has spawned the rumour that im apparently only trans because i like to beat women (???), because of this ONE time that i hurt someone i didnt even know was female because she and her friends were being horrible to me.

the latter theory, as foreshadowed earlier, is the more likely one to be true, or at least some variation of it. this is because as of yesterday my other friend i met her through was sat with me waiting for class. we were talking for a while and i noticed that Sarah was sat purposefully far away from her class specifically to avoid us, and eventually my friend noticed. "oh i just realised that Sarah is sat right there by herself this whole time" and started going towards her. i stopped her like ??? dude shes literally avoiding us cant you see that. apparently Sarah had stopped avoiding my friend, and was actually talking to her again, and my friend said this like i shouldve already known or something? so the idea that shes just not allowed to talk to transgender people cannot be true, as this friend is similarly trans like i am. clearly shes heard something specifically about me that has made her feel the need to avoid me in real life and block me online.

i cant even rely on my friend there to find anything out for me because she is extremely non-confrontational, she will likely go years still being friends with both me and Sarah and never bring it up, and even if she does, she will not defend me. she has done this before, just being perfectly okay being friends with people who despise me and just accepting that "well theyre nice to me all of a sudden so oh well ill roll with it". this kind of behaviour is honestly one of the main reasons why i can never consider her best friend material. maybe i should be concerned that shes reading this, but is she really? has she ever taken an interest in my blender stuffs? no. she wont read this. if you do, congratulations, youre a better friend than i thought, i guess.


i can only distract myself from the issue at hand now by doing blender stuffs and replaying silent hill over and over again because the more i think about this, the more i end up having entire imaginary arguments with myself debating every possible scenario including ones that are ridiculously unlikely to be the case and it just frustrates me.

dont think ive actually vented through here before. usually just a typical life update with no hard feelings type of stuff. sorry about that one.

1 month ago (edited) | [YT] | 45

idoblenderstuffs

Honestly I fucking hate Google these days and part of me feels bad for even using YouTube.

None of the mainstream social medias are even that much better either so im just trapped here. I wish there was a good alternative to YouTube that'd fill the same hole in my life, so I could just unlist this channel and move to a better place, but I can't.

Also, no, I'm not just complaining about the AI age verification stuff. That stuff is cringe but it's SO surface level and I'm surprised that's the only reason people hate YouTube right now.

The capitalist system results in every big company ever to turn evil at some point and there's literally no escape. Google are doing irreparable damage to the Android OS right now and taking away every reason people pick it over iOS. I'm literally considering installing one of those mobile Linux distros that only just barely work properly because I hate this place.

If anyone is reading this right now I just wanna remind people of what I try and tell everyone. If you use a for-profit software or service and can find an alternative, please switch, or at least you can find a much lesser evil. It's for the betterment of mankind. We need to show that capitalism isn't the only option.

Use windows? Switch to Linux. Use Maya? Switch to Blender. Use any 2d art software? Switch to Krita, or maybe GIMP. Use Chrome? Switch to Waterfox, or Falkon. Use Discord? Switch to Revolt. Use a Nintendo Switch? Just throw it away honestly, get a Steam Deck or something, or any regular PC.

The world is terrible and the best we can do is support non-profit projects that aim to help us out of the goodness of their own hearts, and give creativity to as many as possible. Because despite what people insist is the truth, these projects exist, and will always exist. Not everything has to make money, not all of us care about that.

I genuinely just don't understand the entire worlds obsession with money. I sound like such a hippie, but like I don't get what all the fuss is about? I'll have enough to have a space to live and have food to survive and a PC to do Blender stuffs on and I'm set for life. You don't need to conform to their system.

2 months ago (edited) | [YT] | 10

idoblenderstuffs

easily the BEST animation of this song ever.
i really didnt expect The Hare to do so well with this song, i really didnt think this could have a The Hare style twist on it, but he pulled it off.
honestly i wish i could be as creative as he is when it comes to shot ideas and such. also, their lighting/compositing style has improved a lot and looks great.
absolute cinema. everyone should watch this NOW!!!!

kartina coming late october btws

2 months ago | [YT] | 3