Justin Sunseri

When a conversation gets heated and the other person is angry, what is your most common initial reaction?
(Based on this short - youtube.com/shorts/HRUFjrm0fX...)

1 week ago | [YT] | 4

Justin Sunseri

Have you ever been in a conversation where the other person's anger made it impossible to continue? It's a tough spot to be in.

It's possible to hold compassion for someone's struggle while also protecting your own peace. In fact, setting a healthy boundary is one of the most powerful safety cues you can offer in a relationship.

When you can calmly say, "I hear that you're upset, and I'm not going to continue this conversation while you're talking to me this way," you are demonstrating self-regulation.

For the person expressing anger, this boundary might initially feel like rejection or abandonment. But that feeling is theirs to process. Your assertive refusal to participate in a hurtful dynamic is a clear signal that you are a safe and regulated individual.

Healthy boundaries aren't about punishing the other person; they're about preserving the connection by refusing to let it be damaged by dysregulation. By holding your ground with compassion, you create an opportunity for a more regulated and respectful conversation later.

Let's discuss in the comments:

How do you handle setting boundaries when someone is upset? Share your thoughts and experiences below! 👇

#DysregulationInRelationships #NervousSystemRegulation #RelationshipAdvice

1 week ago | [YT] | 5

Justin Sunseri

Most people fall into a middle ground—some self-regulation, but not truly thriving. 🎯

You're getting by. Operating on the fringes of your nervous system's capacity. Always on the edge, but not quite there. Maybe a panic attack here and there, but you function. You have enough regulation.

Believe it or not, everyone has some level of stuckness.

Everyone can benefit from learning new self-regulation skills—literally everyone. Even if you wouldn't say you have "trauma."

Most people have enough safety in their systems to learn new self-regulation skills, such as pendulation. And you'd be absolutely shocked to see how much pain, resentment, stress, hurt, and malcontent you're actually holding onto.

It's not always obvious. It doesn't always feel like a crisis. But it's there—weighing on you, shaping your relationships, limiting your potential.

What would shift if you released what you've been carrying?

The Self-Regulation Coach app is out now and the Black Friday sale ends today!
👉 studio.com/justin/self-regulation-coach

2 months ago | [YT] | 6

Justin Sunseri

Yeah, this sounds weird. 🤔 I know. But stick with me.

Most of us are taught to manage our emotions by pushing them away. Explain them. Minimize them. Move on.

But what if I told you that's exactly what keeps us stuck? 🔒

Here's what actually works: Pay attention to your anger. 🔥 Your stress. 😰 Your sadness. 💙 Not to wallow in it, but to listen to it.

When you stop rejecting your emotions and start paying attention to them, something shifts. Your emotions become a portal to your body's experience. ✨ And when you connect mindfully with what your body is actually experiencing, your state begins to change.

As your state changes, the emotions soften. They resolve. They make sense. 🧘

This is the foundation of nervous system regulation—not fighting what you feel, but getting curious about it. 🔍

The practice: Next time you notice strong emotion, pause. ⏸️ Instead of explaining it away or pushing it down, ask: "What is my body trying to tell me right now?" 👂

That's the portal opening. 🚪✨

2 months ago | [YT] | 5

Justin Sunseri

Yeah, therapy involves discussing difficult things. That's normal.

But your therapist shouldn't be pushing you into those conversations or shaming you when you're not ready. I've heard too many horror stories.

My recommendation: Approach difficult topics only when you're ready. And you'll know you're ready because:

✅ You're anchored in your safety state
✅ You feel open or curious about exploring anything the present moment brings, including the difficult stuff.

That's it. That's the signal.

If your therapist is pressuring you or making you feel bad for not diving into the deep end immediately, that's a red flag. Therapy should feel collaborative, not coercive.

2 months ago | [YT] | 9

Justin Sunseri

When do you think should discuss difficult topics in therapy?

2 months ago | [YT] | 0

Justin Sunseri

Last week, I asked you, "How often do you pay attention to how you feel?"

Here’s what you shared:

46% check in with your emotions daily. 🎉
29% wait until emotions get really big to pay attention.
14% journal or reflect every now and again.
11% avoid or stuff feelings down at all costs.

My biggest takeaway? For many, our feelings have to get really loud before we listen.

If you're in that group, please know that this is incredibly common. We're often not taught how to listen to our bodies when the signals are subtle. We wait for the "check engine" light to flash red.

But what if we could catch things sooner?

The goal isn't to be perfectly in tune 24/7. It's about building the habit of gentle, consistent check-ins. This is how we build trust with our nervous system and cultivate that "felt safety" I talk about so often.

🧠 Actionable Tip: The "Micro Check-In"

If a daily check-in feels like too much, try this:

Set one alarm on your phone for some time today.
When it goes off, pause for just 30 seconds.
Ask yourself: "What is one thing I'm feeling in my body right now?" (e.g., "tension in my shoulders," "warmth in my chest," "butterflies in my stomach").

That's it. No need to analyze it or fix it. Just notice. This is the first step to turning down the volume on overwhelming emotions before they take over.

💬 For those who check in daily, what's one small thing that helped you build that habit?

2 months ago | [YT] | 4

Justin Sunseri

In therapy, I feel most growth when my therapist:

2 months ago | [YT] | 0

Justin Sunseri

🌱 The Art of Gentle Growth in Therapy 🌱

The magic isn't in pushing through discomfort—it's in the rhythm of:
• Gently approaching the edge
• Recovering
• Building your safety baseline
• Repeat

This works when it's COLLABORATIVE (therapist + client), not prescriptive (therapist → client).

For therapists: Stay attuned to what your client can handle.
For everyone: Stay attuned to what YOUR nervous system can handle.

Growth that empowers > Growth that depletes ✨

3 months ago | [YT] | 7

Justin Sunseri

How often do you pay attention to how you feel?

3 months ago | [YT] | 3