Justin Sunseri

🌸 Why "Quiet Time" Might Feel Dangerous to Your Body

If you try to meditate or do breathing exercises and immediately feel a spike in anxiety, you aren't doing it wrong. (And you certainly aren't broken.)

Here is the biology of why that happens:

In Polyvagal Theory, a "Freeze" state is like a car with one foot on the gas (Flight/Fight) and one foot on the brake (Shutdown) at the same time.

When you force yourself to be still (meditation), that internal engine is still revving. Without the ability to move, your body can feel trapped.

Your body interprets "stillness" as danger because it can’t offload that mobilization energy.

🤔 Instead of forcing calm, try Mindful Movement.

If stillness feels unsafe, try swaying, fidgeting, or going for a mindful walk. Let your body have the mobility it is asking for, but do it with intention.

I talk much more about this in response to a listener email in this week's podcast episode - https://youtu.be/pvJNSJ8q1aM

17 hours ago | [YT] | 1

Justin Sunseri

When (or if) you received a mental health diagnosis, how did it genuinely impact you?

We're talking about the difference between a "medical label" and a "nervous system context" this week. I’m curious... when you were first given a diagnosis, was it a moment of clarity for you, or did it make you feel more like "Penny" (trapped by the label)? (Full episode - https://youtu.be/L1WVf2sYb8U)

Vote below! 👇

1 week ago | [YT] | 0

Justin Sunseri

Does your mental health diagnosis explain why you are suffering... or does it just give your suffering a name? 🤔

In this week's episode, I share a thought experiment about two clients: Penny and Milton.
They walk into therapy with the same heavy symptoms—lack of enjoyment, fatigue, and loneliness.
🔴 Penny walks out with a "disorder" to manage for the rest of her life.
🟢 Milton walks out with a nervous system perspective and a path to healing.

Which path are you currently on?

It’s time to challenge the idea that a diagnosis defines you. You might just be stuck in a state that makes sense for what you've been through. Instead of rejecting your experiences, what if you paid attention to them?

Watch the full episode here - https://youtu.be/L1WVf2sYb8U

1 week ago | [YT] | 2

Justin Sunseri

💡 3 Simple Ways to "Settle Your Water" (Stoic + Nervous System Wisdom)

Epictetus taught that our soul is like water: when it's agitated, we can't see clearly. Here's how to find your calm:

1️⃣ Simple Mindfulness: When drinking tea, REALLY taste it. Focus on one sense at a time. This brings safety into your nervous system.

2️⃣ Natural Breathing: After mindfulness, just notice your next breath. Don't control it. Your body knows what to do.

3️⃣ Honest Acknowledgment: Recognize the pains you're carrying. We're not pretending things don't matter. We're building capacity to meet reality as it is.

🌊 The goal isn't to force calm or be perfectly virtuous. It's to do the deeper work of steadying your inner state so you can respond more wisely.

Which of these resonates most with you right now?

1 week ago | [YT] | 3

Justin Sunseri

🤔 The Stoics got something backwards...

They taught us to notice our reactions, pause, think logically, and then choose virtuous behavior.

But what if your nervous system is already in defense mode? What if you're in flight/fight, shutdown, or freeze?

Pure willpower and logic can't override a dysregulated nervous system. That's why Stoic practices sometimes feel like fighting against yourself.

The missing piece: Calm your autonomic state FIRST. Settle the water. Then the appearances (your initial impressions of reality) become much less intense and easier to work with.

🌊 As Epictetus said: "When the water is moved, the ray also seems to be moved, yet it is not moved."

Reality doesn't change - but your capacity to perceive it clearly depends on your inner state.

Have you noticed this in your own life? When you're calm vs. activated?

2 weeks ago | [YT] | 3

Justin Sunseri

🌊 Epictetus said: "Such as is a dish of water, such is the soul."

When your nervous system is activated (flight, fight, shutdown, freeze), how clearly can you think through problems?

2 weeks ago | [YT] | 1

Justin Sunseri

When a conversation gets heated and the other person is angry, what is your most common initial reaction?
(Based on this short - youtube.com/shorts/HRUFjrm0fX...)

4 weeks ago | [YT] | 4

Justin Sunseri

Have you ever been in a conversation where the other person's anger made it impossible to continue? It's a tough spot to be in.

It's possible to hold compassion for someone's struggle while also protecting your own peace. In fact, setting a healthy boundary is one of the most powerful safety cues you can offer in a relationship.

When you can calmly say, "I hear that you're upset, and I'm not going to continue this conversation while you're talking to me this way," you are demonstrating self-regulation.

For the person expressing anger, this boundary might initially feel like rejection or abandonment. But that feeling is theirs to process. Your assertive refusal to participate in a hurtful dynamic is a clear signal that you are a safe and regulated individual.

Healthy boundaries aren't about punishing the other person; they're about preserving the connection by refusing to let it be damaged by dysregulation. By holding your ground with compassion, you create an opportunity for a more regulated and respectful conversation later.

Let's discuss in the comments:

How do you handle setting boundaries when someone is upset? Share your thoughts and experiences below! 👇

#DysregulationInRelationships #NervousSystemRegulation #RelationshipAdvice

4 weeks ago | [YT] | 5

Justin Sunseri

Most people fall into a middle ground—some self-regulation, but not truly thriving. 🎯

You're getting by. Operating on the fringes of your nervous system's capacity. Always on the edge, but not quite there. Maybe a panic attack here and there, but you function. You have enough regulation.

Believe it or not, everyone has some level of stuckness.

Everyone can benefit from learning new self-regulation skills—literally everyone. Even if you wouldn't say you have "trauma."

Most people have enough safety in their systems to learn new self-regulation skills, such as pendulation. And you'd be absolutely shocked to see how much pain, resentment, stress, hurt, and malcontent you're actually holding onto.

It's not always obvious. It doesn't always feel like a crisis. But it's there—weighing on you, shaping your relationships, limiting your potential.

What would shift if you released what you've been carrying?

The Self-Regulation Coach app is out now and the Black Friday sale ends today!
👉 studio.com/justin/self-regulation-coach

2 months ago | [YT] | 6

Justin Sunseri

Yeah, this sounds weird. 🤔 I know. But stick with me.

Most of us are taught to manage our emotions by pushing them away. Explain them. Minimize them. Move on.

But what if I told you that's exactly what keeps us stuck? 🔒

Here's what actually works: Pay attention to your anger. 🔥 Your stress. 😰 Your sadness. 💙 Not to wallow in it, but to listen to it.

When you stop rejecting your emotions and start paying attention to them, something shifts. Your emotions become a portal to your body's experience. ✨ And when you connect mindfully with what your body is actually experiencing, your state begins to change.

As your state changes, the emotions soften. They resolve. They make sense. 🧘

This is the foundation of nervous system regulation—not fighting what you feel, but getting curious about it. 🔍

The practice: Next time you notice strong emotion, pause. ⏸️ Instead of explaining it away or pushing it down, ask: "What is my body trying to tell me right now?" 👂

That's the portal opening. 🚪✨

3 months ago | [YT] | 5