I can't believe a month has already passed, but time will be forever the only unbeatable force, too out of reach for everyone, we can't control, we can't go back, we can't press the pause in life's remote. I'm still standing and trying to push myself to do things and go on with my life, it's so hard to acknowledge that the days only stop for the ones that are gone, and the ones remaining have to go on with their life even through the tears and the pain. I dream of him every single day. Some days are realer than the others, sometimes I even think that he's still here, but reality always strikes again. My life update is: I'm living a day after another, not trying to rush things out, keeping the good days by my side, and valuing the time we spent together and the encounter we had in life. It was a pleasure and surely an honor.
Our late cat. Bicucha. I hate to see that so many of my loved ones are now gone. Hope she's resting easy with Edu now. He loved her so much.
I felt so guilty when Bicucha passed. It happened so quickly. Weeks after I left my house with Edu, the weight of seeing our relationship getting harder every day due his drinking addiction was awful, I couldn't handle that anymore. I tried everything I could, and when I left home, Bicucha died shortly after. I ran straight to the vet, they told me that hopefully she would be fine, but she didn't. She got worse and left us some hours later that day. I felt guilty for not being there.
I couldn't imagine that some months after, Edu would be gone, too. I still think it's not true, I wish so much it wasn't true, but it is. I can't handle the guilt, I think about this so much, about if I was still there, he would still be here, and she would too.
He couldn't even see my last message to him, but I sent that with so much hope he could change. I hoped he could get better, seek help, treatment, and start life again. But it was so quick. It was a day like any other, until it wasn't anymore.
In Portuguese, we have a word: Saudade. There's no exact translation, but it can almost be explained by the feeling of melancholy due to missing something or someone so much. Saudade can be felt when you don't meet your loved ones for a while, but it can be solved when you see them again. Saudade is the worst when you have the knowledge that the missed person will not return, ever again.
Yesterday was the 3rd year of Eduardo in my life. Never in my nightmares I would imagine that the world would say goodbye to him that soon. Still remember that face like it was yesterday. This photo was taken in our first house together, a month before we met. Will remember you forever, thank you ❤️
Hey guys, how are you? Every day, it's being a new day and a new challenge, I'm still having trouble eating and sleeping, but I guess these are the things that happen normally with grief. I already picked up my stuff in Edu's apartment, I got to keep some furniture and other things that his family wouldn't use anyways, and since half of the stuff we bought together, the things, in his absence, were mine anyways.
I'm trying to pick up the pieces and move on, but I know these things don't go as fast as we all wish it would, and grief is something mysterious that we only know how we are going to deal with when it happens.
I've had been through grief several times in my life and every single one of these times were completely different. I saw my grandparents die, I thought that was normal because they had lived a lot, more than enough, but then my dad died at 59 years old and a year after that, Edu dies at 49 years old. That's way too young, the brain still doesn't understands why, it's hard to explain to yourself why such things happens, they just do.
Well, it's a rainy Saturday and it's washing the second week that he is gone. I miss him dearly and thank God I had all the support you guys gave me, collecting clips of him singing and keeping his memory alive, not just for me, but for all people that cared for him. Thanks again u all ❤️
Hi guys, I'm here again. I'm getting a little better. At least I'm back on eating again, little by little, but at least it's something. My new issue now is getting enough sleep, the nights still haunts me, I don't know, I started to fear somethings that are out of my reach, I just can't do anything about them.
I was thinking about all of this circumstance and, damm, it's not fair, not at all. Dying this young should be a crime, and I feel so egotistical in thinking about how dying is such a waste. We work so darn hard in life, and then, in a blink of an eye, everything is gone.
But I'm still dealing better with everything that happened, and I feel no shame in saying that this experience made me cherish life even more. It's crazy to think, but he was only 49, that's 25 years ahead of me. It seems a lot, but it goes by much faster than we imagine.
Take care of yourselves, of your health, of your life. It goes by faster than we all think. A day after another, the show must go on.
Hey guys, do you know if it's possible to switch e-mails of youtube channels? For example: this channel is on Edu's e-mail and I'm afraid I'll lose access, idk, could I put this channel under my e-mails address? And take it off of his?
Indieokee
Indieokee
I can't believe a month has already passed, but time will be forever the only unbeatable force, too out of reach for everyone, we can't control, we can't go back, we can't press the pause in life's remote.
I'm still standing and trying to push myself to do things and go on with my life, it's so hard to acknowledge that the days only stop for the ones that are gone, and the ones remaining have to go on with their life even through the tears and the pain.
I dream of him every single day. Some days are realer than the others, sometimes I even think that he's still here, but reality always strikes again.
My life update is: I'm living a day after another, not trying to rush things out, keeping the good days by my side, and valuing the time we spent together and the encounter we had in life. It was a pleasure and surely an honor.
1 month ago | [YT] | 13
View 0 replies
Indieokee
❤️
1 month ago | [YT] | 0
View 0 replies
Indieokee
Our late cat. Bicucha. I hate to see that so many of my loved ones are now gone. Hope she's resting easy with Edu now. He loved her so much.
I felt so guilty when Bicucha passed. It happened so quickly. Weeks after I left my house with Edu, the weight of seeing our relationship getting harder every day due his drinking addiction was awful, I couldn't handle that anymore. I tried everything I could, and when I left home, Bicucha died shortly after. I ran straight to the vet, they told me that hopefully she would be fine, but she didn't. She got worse and left us some hours later that day. I felt guilty for not being there.
I couldn't imagine that some months after, Edu would be gone, too. I still think it's not true, I wish so much it wasn't true, but it is. I can't handle the guilt, I think about this so much, about if I was still there, he would still be here, and she would too.
He couldn't even see my last message to him, but I sent that with so much hope he could change. I hoped he could get better, seek help, treatment, and start life again. But it was so quick. It was a day like any other, until it wasn't anymore.
In Portuguese, we have a word: Saudade. There's no exact translation, but it can almost be explained by the feeling of melancholy due to missing something or someone so much. Saudade can be felt when you don't meet your loved ones for a while, but it can be solved when you see them again. Saudade is the worst when you have the knowledge that the missed person will not return, ever again.
1 month ago | [YT] | 10
View 4 replies
Indieokee
❤️🩹
1 month ago | [YT] | 3
View 0 replies
Indieokee
Good times 🙏🏻
1 month ago | [YT] | 3
View 0 replies
Indieokee
Yesterday was the 3rd year of Eduardo in my life. Never in my nightmares I would imagine that the world would say goodbye to him that soon. Still remember that face like it was yesterday.
This photo was taken in our first house together, a month before we met. Will remember you forever, thank you ❤️
1 month ago | [YT] | 16
View 4 replies
Indieokee
Hey guys, how are you? Every day, it's being a new day and a new challenge, I'm still having trouble eating and sleeping, but I guess these are the things that happen normally with grief. I already picked up my stuff in Edu's apartment, I got to keep some furniture and other things that his family wouldn't use anyways, and since half of the stuff we bought together, the things, in his absence, were mine anyways.
I'm trying to pick up the pieces and move on, but I know these things don't go as fast as we all wish it would, and grief is something mysterious that we only know how we are going to deal with when it happens.
I've had been through grief several times in my life and every single one of these times were completely different. I saw my grandparents die, I thought that was normal because they had lived a lot, more than enough, but then my dad died at 59 years old and a year after that, Edu dies at 49 years old. That's way too young, the brain still doesn't understands why, it's hard to explain to yourself why such things happens, they just do.
Well, it's a rainy Saturday and it's washing the second week that he is gone. I miss him dearly and thank God I had all the support you guys gave me, collecting clips of him singing and keeping his memory alive, not just for me, but for all people that cared for him. Thanks again u all ❤️
1 month ago | [YT] | 17
View 4 replies
Indieokee
Hi guys, I'm here again. I'm getting a little better. At least I'm back on eating again, little by little, but at least it's something. My new issue now is getting enough sleep, the nights still haunts me, I don't know, I started to fear somethings that are out of my reach, I just can't do anything about them.
I was thinking about all of this circumstance and, damm, it's not fair, not at all. Dying this young should be a crime, and I feel so egotistical in thinking about how dying is such a waste. We work so darn hard in life, and then, in a blink of an eye, everything is gone.
But I'm still dealing better with everything that happened, and I feel no shame in saying that this experience made me cherish life even more. It's crazy to think, but he was only 49, that's 25 years ahead of me. It seems a lot, but it goes by much faster than we imagine.
Take care of yourselves, of your health, of your life. It goes by faster than we all think.
A day after another, the show must go on.
1 month ago | [YT] | 14
View 5 replies
Indieokee
Hey guys, do you know if it's possible to switch e-mails of youtube channels? For example: this channel is on Edu's e-mail and I'm afraid I'll lose access, idk, could I put this channel under my e-mails address? And take it off of his?
1 month ago | [YT] | 7
View 2 replies
Indieokee
Beautiful angels ❤️🐈🐈⬛️
1 month ago | [YT] | 15
View 0 replies
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