Alexes Wright

I'M AN ADULT GOD DAMN IT 🫠 why am I scared of being punished.

Even though it's all we do anymore.
Discipline. Got replaced with punishment.
Are you disciplined or punished?

YOU CAN'T GET IN TROUBLE FOR TALKING

20 hours ago | [YT] | 0

Alexes Wright

Hey therapist. (Rough draft)

My Diary. Sunday December 14, 2025 1:48 AM

『Ahhh just waking up....😬 』

Have you ever wondered why our conversations are private, therapist?

It's okay we don't have to share.
I wouldn't want to make you look unprofessional. Or for you to lose your job.
The thing keeping you alive. Sorry.
But.
Couldn't they help?
Don't people like drama?
Don't they like it real?
Don't they like me??
Don't they like the truth???
Hasn't everyone that hates me, told me to write a book?
And you wonder why I haven't?
If they were being honest, wouldn't they read it????

Did you mean it.
Any of it.


There's something eerie this Christmas.
Something about nostalgia.
Gingerbread Houses.
No more family.
No more holidays.
No more friends.

And I'm aware now.
Everyone has accepted this.
I'm burnt out. I'm watching people do what I did a year ago. Catching onto the truth.

I feel invisible.
But instead of people reaching out to tell me that I was right all along. They don't even remember.
Why am I so lonely?
I feel like no one else thinks like I do, until years later.
By the time people figure it out, they forgot that I'm the one who taught them.
Or pretend that I never contributed to their growth. I just become a discarded used tool.

People treat survival like a game. The cold has damaged my body. Every glow up I've had, there's been a curious evil that would show up. Not this time. It was more like. A sneaky invisible audience, trying not to be caught watching me. Full of ex's or friends that have betrayed me.

Hell. I've had people tell me that I've changed them and their life so much.
Then betray me. Or. Come back to tell me all that years later.
Ontop of that, straight up verbal abuse in response to my affection. Harassment. Blood lust. Weird behaviors!
So I was right and you were in denial.
But you won't admit it now.

Now you're gonna play clueless and act like you were this person all along?
You're this smart guy now? No you've always been smart? I just never realized?
Mf I taught you.

I'm really sad. I'm really sad and staring to feel afraid. The evil around me becomes more and more clear.
People don't feel each other.
They look at each other with these empty eyes that only reflect back inside.
I'm afraid of people.
I'm afraid of greed. I'm afraid of the selfishness.
I think my reality is opening itself up to me.

I'm alone. No one has been watching over me.
All the work I've done will be forgotten.
I'm free. I'm free to do whatever I want.
But I want to love you.
But your eyes are empty. Thinking your own thoughts.
I'm alone in my head that's why I'm alone. You're right there. You're real.
But I'm not.
I'm not real in the sense. Something is wrong with me. Just like something is wrong with everyone.
I'm not used to being around anyone that doesn't pick apart WHO I am... I HAVEN'T EVEN GOT TO SAY IT YET.
I feel like an imposter to myself.
My worst fear as a child is going to jail for something I didn't do.
Id have these replaying thoughts.
What if they don't believe me.
Cause "they" never did.
I'm used to everyone including family in my life. Looking at my face. And saying "I don't believe you".

Adding to the panic. I would look more suspicious. I swear I didn't take that chocolate bar what chocolate bar? Get my ass beat.
Turns out i was a liar.
I stole that chocolate bar. And I lied.
I didn't tell someone else's truth.
When in reality, my sisters blamed it on me.
I never stole the chocolate. They did.
Yet I still think to myself. You're wrong.

I feel like a problem. That makes me feel like I don't have the right to be friends. I talk too much and everyone is tired.
Yet they are desperate for entertainment?

Is getting older giving up? Is being 25 a test of sanity? Will I be abused for my perspective of reality?
Will I go to jail for something I didn't do?
Should I just give up.

I'm grieving my family. I've lost my entire family. It's 2025. Merry Christmas.

How can I be okay? I have these visions. I know how my life ends.

I desperately want to be honest with the world but if i was to say that I feel in my heart, I'll die of suicide some day. They will rush in with lassos and whips.
I'm terrified of authority. If I ever end up under it again. I may not make it. Why do I write this all? To be studied when I'm dead.

I don't want the attention when I'm awake.
What is attention other than people looking at me with their own eyes? Your eyes are beatiful.
But mine need to be shut. And I think I owe it to you to tell you why.
I'm 25... why can't I tell the world how I feel.
Why is what I feel wrong?
Why will it be right after I'm gone?

The truth is. No one will study me.
I literally do everything i do, to be studied. I keep thinking. I'm not going to be here. I don't want anyone to have questions like me.

I'm 'Schrodingers Cat' because I'm dead and alive.
Slip through the cracks of a broken mind.

Make yourself at home.


You can say I belong to someone.
As a metaphor.

My eyes are slits,
They're a light experiment.
What's on the other side?
But a hypothesis?

Why are 'they' hateful regardless?
They think their love makes them harmless.
Why does 'they' get me in trouble.
Why do I worry for a word I fumbled.
Why am I crazy for saying 'they'
When 'they' are the ones listening.

I will always be an imposter.

That's why I want to be studied. If I can't understand myself. Maybe you're smart enough to.
And then comes my worst problem.

Everyone has been calling me smart lately.
This is causing fight or flight.

When I say "they" I know who I'm talking about!
"They" is the people ive experienced. Directly or indirectly. "They" are the people in my life.
The celebrities i watch, that can't see me. Are still apart of my life, watching me on TV.
They is yoooou and me.
The Invisible Audience.
I'm talking about God and God's children.
That's why "they" is such a scary word to say.
Because no...
"They'd never understand..."

Write a book Alexes. So no one can read it until you kill yourself.

Skip the Carousel

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20 hours ago | [YT] | 1

Alexes Wright

I've learned i don't hate white people. I hate fascists...I don't hate old people...I hate this generation.

23 hours ago | [YT] | 0

Alexes Wright

We are at the point of parrots and lambs.
The worst game of telephone ever.
Everyone keeps talking about politics but nothing changes.
No one apologizes.
The oligarchy buys more and more freedom.

Turns out. You don't get a cookie for being right about everything.

And these evil people know what they're doing.
Yet.
Everyone is waiting for an apology?
Is the devil going to apologize?

Parrots repeat themselves and sheep repeat each other. Either way, they do it to fit in.
Regardless. They aren't listening!

For the last time. This is serious.
There's no going back to an old America.
It's been getting worse since the day I was born in 2000.

Are you guys gonna keep waiting for it to get better? Or will you finally fight back?

It's called fighting back for a reason.

If the only change we can make is a protest.
Hold up signs that say #abolishthegovernment

1 day ago | [YT] | 1

Alexes Wright

1 day ago | [YT] | 1

Alexes Wright

Kill capitalism so I can get some damn sleep

2 days ago | [YT] | 0

Alexes Wright

Hiding behind your words - Alexes Wright

People would say. I'm over thinking it.
People would say. You're going down a rabbit hole.

All of my over thinking turned out right though.

And now all I can think about...
Is why I wasn't allowed to think.
Why wasn't I allowed to speak.
Or share my thoughts out loud.

I was a burden for saying the right things.
I was never wrong for what I think.
If you need the truth to be quiet.
Don't look for me, to hide it.

2 days ago | [YT] | 1

Alexes Wright

I wanna be a...
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3 days ago | [YT] | 0

Alexes Wright

My personal opinion of what intelligence is.

Intelligence to me, is the ability to understand reality, and also how well you can explain it to others.

To me. The most intelligent people in history are scientists, who's purpose is to explore the unknown.
A person with a light bulb.
Had an idea.
And then, they set out to prove it.

A hypothesis!

The more you think about it.
The more it makes sense.

3 days ago | [YT] | 0

Alexes Wright

You're not smarter omg. You just speak louder and more quickly.

3 days ago | [YT] | 0