Kizumi Yue 🦋🍀

Kinda vent


I miss Appa fumiko sm... I don't know why I feel like this everyday, he's a stranger but still my father figure... I don't even know why I'm so obsessed with his presence, I feel so lonely and hurt ever since he left, i feel like he's playing with my emotions. I don't even know if I trust him anymore... I— I don't know what the hell is wrong with me, it's literally normal for people to come and go but... I've never seen myself crying over a stranger leaving, they're stranger and I trust them wholeheartedly? I don't know why I felt loved like a child in a father's protective arms even though I never met them irl. I always asked myself "is it because them entered my life when I was in a moment when I needed someone to hug me the most?", "they never actually did anything? Then why I feel loved?", "aren't they random stranger?", "why do I feel hurt when they left? It's not even a big deal.." and etc. I really miss them a lot. Whenever I see something, it always reminds me of them, and I randomly tears up for some reason I don't really know. I feel so empty inside. Whenever I look in the mirror, I realized how much I've changed, I look more unhealthy, emotionless and emotional at the same time, confused and see my empty eyes. Fumiko really... Really... Really remind me of an old friend. Ogro(My old friend) and I used to be close for 2 years, our first meeting was hilarious and stupid and make nonsense of how we suddenly get along, the old friend was 8 and I was 11, things changed when him and I carry our own responsibilities and it went worse when I see him hang out with his old friends and.. I feel somehow left out and I understand how his old friends will feel "they'll probably feel the same, don't they? They'll probably want to hang out with him 24/7 like I do" and still feel abandoned, I met fumiko after a few weeks I joined the bsd fandom, at first, his oc kinda... Remind me of how short and playful Ogro was. Does the history really repeat itself? First SLH(not revealing his name cause it might make ppl found out where I'm from), then MW(same reason for not revealing her name), then THY and ZZN(same reason), then PPE(same reason again) and then Fumiko and now the fruit group(it's a friend group I created where my nickname is blueberry and my other close friends also have fruit name tags)? Like... Everytime when I lose my guard and trust someone and starting to care about them deeply... *I always had to let them go*. I guess I do have trust issues and other problems, not just mentally but emotionally. Everytime I test myself in "weird kid bingo", "traumatized kid bingo" and many others, my results are always above 80 which I wanna deny it but I cannot. I hate it.


I don't wanna lose ‪@SunnehzZ‬​​​, ‪@Kii_mon‬ , ‪@Tari-kun‬​/‪@Rin._Zz0‬​ ​​, ‪@its.yuena_here‬ , ‪‪@Tomoe778‬ , ‪@Itskat_onlyDazai‬​​ and @JustASimp88 . I already am feeling lonely and hurt enough, I don't wanna lose you guys next. I mean it... Shit I tears up oml—

6 days ago (edited) | [YT] | 8

Kizumi Yue 🦋🍀

‪@SunnehzZ‬​ feeding you more Dazai

https://youtu.be/IHRNQootuS8?si=VbXjW...

https://youtu.be/QUlj_g-VXC8?si=yzHaN...

6 days ago (edited) | [YT] | 3

Kizumi Yue 🦋🍀

‪@bernsirit‬ I know this isn't a very good news and um.. I know you are in a bad situation but... My whole family told me to break up with you. However, I wish you met a better person. I hope your life become better someday.

I just.. I think I changed my mind. I haven't consider the whole future when I accepted your love. It's not that I don't love you, I really appreciate your loyalty and love you. But to be honest, I don't think I'm ready for a relationship yet, I also realized despite how much I love children, I don't wanna bring a child in this world. I don't want to raise any children due to my personal reasons. I know I'm overthinking, but you know that you want to be loved by someone, just someone. I don't want to traumatized you by my actions, cause I know what kind of a person I am. I've been thinking about it for month cause I don't want you to be depressed than you already are. (Ain't no shit don't deny it, you're NOT fine.)

1 week ago | [YT] | 5

Kizumi Yue 🦋🍀

Here are some sad facts about YeosM

Ss1:

Kye loves Dilys but she doesn't like him any bit, but when he finally won her heart, Cyrus killed Dilys in front of Kye

Ss2:

Lay was gay for Kye but Kye got trust issues and being extremely emotionless so he doesn't like Lay back + Lay finally won Kye's heart only because Kye dreamed about Dilys telling him to move on from her or else Lay'll be another depressed shit

Ss3:

Everything is traumatizing there because of mess murder(above 63k) Venus causes just because of her "selfish" goal (my girlie just want her face c'mon guys)

Ss4:

Liam tried to help a boy from the bullies but ended up killing the bullies so... Lang kicked him out and Anyan took care of him and teach him how to use magic correctly

Roger doesn't know that Venus is doing everything behind his back so he has to deal with Oai saying his mom is selfish

My theory;

1. All YeosM fan know bsd but not all bsd fan know YeosM 😭💀

2. Cyrus could possibly be GL's father

3. Ngl At/🍣 look like Otto and tit's secret child 💀 (I'm turning atsushi into jjk meme)

4. All magicians have a magic book and the cover of the book is exactly their magic's color/gate

5. All supernatural creatures and magicians cannot use their ability near any God

6. I believe that all magicians can turn into circle gems when their magic are gone

7. Lang doesn't have any magic cuz Otto attack Anyan and make him lose his magic before Anyan carry Lang

Umm... Watch ‪@YeosM‬'s animation vids of you're bored. It's worth it for me (mention of blood and gore)

1 week ago | [YT] | 2

Kizumi Yue 🦋🍀

Choose one Ig

1 week ago | [YT] | 5

Kizumi Yue 🦋🍀

youtube.com/shorts/my10RgGbL1...

BRO I'M LITERALLY STANDING NEAR TO A MIRROR WTH I— I CAN EXPLAIN, I SWEAR I'M NOT GAY OR ANYTHING 💀‼️

1 week ago | [YT] | 2

Kizumi Yue 🦋🍀

Here's umm... My seatmate's drawing (the last one is mine tho, it's Kiyūo, not kizumi)

1. Sigma bsd (I dare her to drew it)
2-4. MuiTan. (Muichiro x tanjiro kny ship) I think she trace the arts idk
5. Chibi Kiyūo in kimono <3333

‪@SunnehzZ‬ your dad's old oc(Kiyūo) is better looking and more cute(childish and annoying) than Kizumi

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1 week ago (edited) | [YT] | 10

Kizumi Yue 🦋🍀

Choose an audio (these underrated songs omg)

1 week ago | [YT] | 4

Kizumi Yue 🦋🍀

I think we Nikolai kinnies whom are born in 2011 are Nikolai in our past life 💀


Ehehhehehhahhahahaha I love fyolai angst sm HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

1 week ago | [YT] | 8

Kizumi Yue 🦋🍀

Dare pass by ;‪@Tomoe778‬ @JustASimp88 ‪@Kii_mon‬

Ummm... Post 5 picture you first see when you seacrh lyrics on Pinterest. I don't have Pinterest so I had to go to Google hehe

Dare pass to; ‪@Tari-kun‬, ‪@SunnehzZ‬, ‪@bernsirit‬ ,‪@Bandag3es‬, ‪@Saniiko‬, ‪@Itskat_onlyDazai‬ , @you

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1 week ago | [YT] | 6