Stacey R

My autobiography book
Tale of Trilogies - Where everything Intertwines (where my life's story Intertwines with  ‪ ‪‪@RenMakesMusic‬​     before I knew his name)

Trigger warning ⚠️


The Day the Silence Shattered — Chapter 7




My body warned what I wouldn’t believe,
That pain held truths I couldn’t conceive.
Strep stole my voice the nights turned long,
Each whisper cracked where hope grew wrong.

Laryngitis lingered fevers spread,
Till tonsils came out while fear still bled.
The migraines flared the world grew dim,
And every ache traced back to him.

They gave me pills once surgery passed,
Oxycodone relief that wouldn’t last.
Marc said “Be careful they steal control,”
So I took them light to guard my soul.

One when I woke two through the night,
A week slipped by the pain felt slight.
Then Advil took their place instead,
And he swore he’d given the rest to be shed.

“My stepmom’s a doctor she’ll throw them away,”
I trusted his words that day.
But lies run deep where shadows hide,
And truth was buried where love had died.

He’d quit the drink or so he’d claim,
But anger stayed it had no name.
I brushed it off as life’s rough tide,
Ignoring what my gut implied.

A month rolled on before I learned,
Where those tiny white secrets burned.
Inside a speaker dust and sin,
His addiction whispered from within.

My hand reached in the plastic clinked,
My stomach dropped my heartbeat synced.
He entered calm “You good, my dear?”
I lied, so I didn't enrage as I trembled in fear.

His eyes went sharp suspicion thin,
While dread crawled cold beneath my skin.
Storms in him came and went like sea,
Three calm days then fury free.

That summer trip turned dark and wrong,
He went skiing proud and strong.
A crash, a gasp, “I cracked a rib,”
He laughed it off that fragile fib.

That night at home his breath grew tight,
He winced and groaned well past midnight.
We called for help I hid my fear,
While his daughter cried beside my ear.

They took him in before the dawn,
The sirens wailed the silence gone.
At  home I sat and prayed,
That maybe rage could fade decayed.

But calm with him could never stay,
It flipped to wrath by end of day.
His temper rose when he got back home,
Like fire unleashed unbridled lone.

His daughter coughed his face turned red,
He stormed her room with words of dread.
I tried to calm, to stand to speak,
But strength in fear grows small grows weak.

He turned on me his eyes like stone,
His voice a weapon I’d always known.
“Useless. Pathetic What good are you?,"
Each insult cut each one I believed was true.

He went downstairs wrecking the shop,
I was frozen in place  in the kitchen my heart felt like it stopped.
I heard his footsteps up the stairs, 
I was not prepared for his evil demonic glare.

He slammed the wall the air turned thin,
His hands pinned fast I caved within.
His nose met mine his spit burned hot,
Words of venom I’ve not forgot.

His fist drew back I didn’t scream,
He stopped an inch a waking dream.
“You’ll behave?” he hissed “Understand?,”
I nodded quick beneath his hands.

He left but silence screamed inside,
A fractured soul with nowhere to hide.
The migraines came my shield my veil,
A fragile mask to tell my tale.

When he left for work one day,
I called my adoptive dad to say,
“I can’t keep living here this way,
I need to leave I can’t delay.”

I told him part not all but still,
He heard the fear that bent my will.
He said “We’ll plan when can you run?,"
I said “When the kids are gone to their dad's it’s done.”

Two weeks crawled slow each hour long,
Each breath a prayer to still be strong.
Then came the day I faced his eyes,
“I’m done with pain, with threats, with lies.”

He begged fake tears “Please don’t go.”
But my answer held a steady no.
I packed my things essentials few,
My adoptive dad knew what to do.

"Just stay there one more night," "I'll pick you up tomorrow come daylight."
Marc thought he could lure me to stay,
With  unconsensual intimacy,
I wouldn't let my world no longer decay.

He made me sign “These cars are mine,”
I did just freedom on the line.
He left with her I grabbed my pack,
And never once looked back.

My adoptive father’s truck pulled near,
I felt release not pain or fear.
No tears, no rage, just breath regained,
The silence gone my soul unchained.


Inspired by Ren – Lost All Faith

“Pain is my shepherd, my sword, and my shield.”
"Can any body save me from myself?
There's blood on the leaves where I fell
Coming down".
"I've lost my faith"


I lost my faith where shadows grew,
Where dreams felt false and hearts untrue.
The light I chased refused to stay,
And peace I knew just, slipped away.

Each breath I took was lined with ache,
A wound that time refused to break.
My trust was glass my hope was frail,
Each promise whispered seemed to fail.

The mirror showed what I’d become,
A soul gone quiet, deaf and numb.
But deep beneath that tired skin,
A spark remained defying sin.

It whispered low" you’re still alive,"
Through every storm you can survive.
And though my faith was burned and torn,
From all that pain new strength was born.

So I still walk through nights unkind,
With steady breath and clearer mind.
The war’s not gone but I remain,
Still learning how, to live through pain.


Murdered by Memories

The air still hums where ghosts once tread,
Their whispers echo what’s long dead.
Each scar a verse each tear a line,
Of pain he carved but said was mine.

The walls still keep their quiet cries,
They know the truth behind my eyes.
His shadow clings where light should stay,
Turning my dreams a darker gray.

The scent of fear still fills the room,
A fragile heart became my tomb.
I flinch at warmth at love’s embrace,
For safety never kept its place.

His fury wrapped around my core,
A chain I learned to just endure.
And though he’s gone his ghost remains,
Repeating soft the old refrains.

Each gentle word feels sharp and near,
My trust still tangled up in fear.
I long for peace but silence calls,
Reminding me of shattered walls.

I walk through days with phantom weight,
A past I never could negate.
The hurt still hums beneath my skin,
But strength now blooms where pain had been.

He’s gone but not his trace won’t fade,
It lingers where my heart was frayed.
The bruises healed the bones grew strong,
Yet echoes hum that I belong.

I breathe through storms that never end,
Each wave a foe each breath a friend.
I’ve learned to dance through shadowed art,
To feel the pain and still take part.

They call it healing slow confined,
A war between the heart and mind.
But though those memories twist and spin,
They cannot cage the fire within.

For every tear he made me cry,
A part of me refused to die.
The mirror shows what he denied,
A soul reborn from all he tried.

So let the past recede from view,
I’ll shape the wreckage into truth.
Though murdered by what came before,
I live to write and heal once more....

4 hours ago (edited) | [YT] | 5

Stacey R

I love ‪@RenMakesMusic‬ humor incase you missed it Ren was spamming the chat with both his accounts so make sure you sub to his 2nd YouTube channel for goodies,.his life chapters and loads of behind the scenes content ‪@RenMakesStuff‬

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1 2

2 days ago | [YT] | 116

Stacey R

Video is already up to set your notifications for the next installment off of ‪@RenMakesMusic‬​ x ‪@theskinnerbrothers‬​ sick sick soul album

https://youtu.be/FmaBhsRfhIw?si=AL5OU...

5 days ago (edited) | [YT] | 19

Stacey R

If anyone that's not following ‪@Itsviktus‬ is going to his concert please read as he posted this on Facebook and wants to make sure everyone is safe:

Just a quick one going forward…
We will be implementing some new shit at our future shows based on what has been mentioned.
- firstly, for every show, I will be purchasing drink safe lids for the venue and make sure that they place them on ALL drinks before they leave the bar.

- my team and security will have vests on to make it clear who is actually with me as people have got hold of crew passes.
These people will be there to ensure things are running smoothly and safely. Please reach out to any of my security team if you feel unsafe.

-we will be running a zero tolerance policy. People who act up will be escorted away with NO hesitation.

We ask for future to ensure that drink safe lids are used at all times & that you DO NOT accept any drinks of anyone you do not know

We always try to create a safe space for people to come and enjoy the music with us. Unfortunately there are pieces of SHIT that ruin everything.
Karma is real and these motherfuckers will feel it soon.
If I see anything like this from someone, they WILL BE LEAVING WITH A BROKEN JAW.

As for the rest of you angels, thank you so much for all the support this year!! It’s been a crazy one and we coming bigger and better in 2026🫶🏻🫶🏻

6 days ago | [YT] | 80

Stacey R

Shadow in the Mirror is a lyrical diss track that calls out those stealing content not just from Ren, but from the entire Renegade community, including my own songs and creative work. It’s a statement of truth: you can copy art, but you’ll never steal the it soul, pain, or authenticity behind it.

Every lyric in this track was written by me, Stacey R, and brought to life using Suno Pro for the melody and vocals. The result is a powerful mix of grit and emotion a message to every fake shadow trying to claim what isn’t theirs.


https://youtu.be/FltvHtwt4z8?si=NZ5ZI...

1 week ago | [YT] | 11

Stacey R

Update I think account was banned or they changed their name as a few people said they can find the account anymore.

Anyone that has tiktok I need a favor a mass report the account in screenshots not only stealing Ren's videos but a couple of my videoedit and claiming my The Ren effect song I wrote as their own ‪@RenMakesMusic‬​

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1 week ago (edited) | [YT] | 47

Stacey R

The video is up for the premier of the next installment of sicksifk soul vol 1 ‪@RenMakesMusic‬ x ‪@theskinnerbrothers‬
Click link and select to be notified 🫶 see you all there🌹


https://youtu.be/X--PXyB1Zw0?si=qdXLX...

1 week ago | [YT] | 17

Stacey R

🌤 The Mindset of When You Decide to Show Up for Yourself

The moment you choose to rise within,
The noise of the world starts to thin.
No longer chasing what’s not meant to stay,
You learn that peace will find its way.

You breathe with the rhythm your soul always knew,
Trusting the path that’s unfolding for you.
The storms lose their weight, their voices grow small,
For you’ve built a strength that can weather it all.

There’s grace in the stillness, truth in the slow,
Where clarity lives and wise hearts grow.
You stop searching for signs, stop pleading for more,
And realize you’ve been the answer you’ve waited for.

Life aligns softly when you move in your truth,
A lesson it teaches from spirit to youth.
No deadlines, no race, no need to pretend
Just trust in the journey that never will end.

So when you decide to show up as you are,
You’ll see you’ve already come so far.
Peace isn’t found; it’s something you free
When you finally learn to just let yourself be.

1 week ago | [YT] | 18

Stacey R

Buckle up and grab a seat to listen to another ‪@TheBigPushBand‬ busking cover ♥️

https://youtu.be/RwqY3acBleo?si=_EjM4...

2 weeks ago | [YT] | 37

Stacey R

Not me yelling at my phone like I'm watching a live boxing match 😂
Get em ‪@RenMakesMusic‬ get em
Run Ren Run!!!😂

This was awesome but completely not what I was expecting at all

2 weeks ago | [YT] | 299