I created a 43-page workbook called Finding Yourself that goes alongside the video. It's designed to help you reconnect with who you are underneath all the layers. Find Your Way Back To Yourself. Be More Than Just Okay. Thrive. Free Finding Yourself Workbook -- Get a copy: www.healingattachmenttrauma.com/FYW-signup
3 months ago | 0
Welcome back! We sure have missed you:) but also super happy that you could take some time for yourself😊 something I am working on about myself is answering the question: what is making me the common denominator regarding the fact that I don't have a single living soul in my life anymore. People keep drifting away, even my own grown children. They have all dropped off like flies. Age 52 F. I took about 2 years just for myself to really dig deep and try to come to terms after a severely bad breakup. I went way inward thinking that I could finally just focus on me and care about me. But when I came out of it a year ago, I felt like a stranger in my friend group. Like I didn't recognize them anymore and vice versa. I wish I could say it's because I kind of rose above to a new mentality and these people just were no longer on my wave anymore. So I'm thinking I really need to do some soul-searching and take another long look at myself. And having you here kind of trying to guide us along makes all the difference
3 months ago (edited) | 1
I will answer the question in my last post: What's one thing you're working on understanding about yourself these days? Well, first it will be an observations about many of us, and then be more specific about myself. I am intrigued by how when things get hard or there is a challenge or struggle, that we often do not use the tools we already have for self-care and to support ourselves. I have a friend who is struggling right now and he knows that walking in nature helps him tremendously. However, he tells me that he doesn't get outside recently but stays inside on the couch. So, it makes me think about what self-care tools or resources do I have and what the ways that I forget to use them. I am very interested in looking at why do we forget even when we know they are good for us or we have used them in the past and have data/evidence that they are helpful. This exploration links to the previous post where I mention the video about being stuck. It's like the more we become stuck, then the more we don't take care of ourselves. I once had a client say, "Yes, I only workout and go to the gym when I am feeling good." It made me think about how we really need to go to the gym when we feel bad, lol. All easier said than done right?
3 months ago | 0
Alan Robarge / Attachment Trauma Therapist
Hello.... I'm back. lol.
Thank you for the thoughtful comments and messages during my absence. It's clear this work resonates with many of you navigating similar territory.
My first video in this new series is live: "Stuck, Triggered, & Crushed? How Therapy Helps Us Heal the False Self and Find Our True Identity." If you haven't seen it yet, check it out. I'm curious to know if it resonates with you. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Lguf...
I examine three fundamental states that bring many of us to therapy:
***Stuck - disconnected from essential resources like clarity, purpose, and inner compass
***Triggered - nervous system dysregulation, that "bees buzzing" disconnect from calm
***Crushed - the liminal space of heartbreak living between who you were and who you're becoming
What matters isn't just managing these states - it's understanding how they reveal our relationship with the false self, that survival persona we constructed when the world felt unwelcoming. And if you've ever realized you've been living as someone you're not, I have empathy for you - that discovery can be so disorienting and grief-inducing.
I've been working on some things during this break that feel important to share. There's a newsletter now where I can go deeper into these concepts. The first one explores what it means to feel stuck - not just surface-level frustration, but that profound sense of being cut off from your own resources. I also created a 43-page workbook called Finding Yourself that goes alongside the video. It's designed to help you reconnect with who you are underneath all the layers.
I needed time away, and I talk about some of that in the newsletter. But this next phase focuses on what I've always been most interested in: those attachment patterns that shape how we move through the world, the particular loneliness that comes from not knowing who you are underneath all the roles you play, and what it looks like to find your way back to yourself when you realize you've been living someone else's version of your life.
Question for you:
What's one thing you're working on understanding about yourself these days?
3 months ago (edited) | [YT] | 64