SMUGmari - Invidious

SMUGmari

I love you
The three hardest words to say
And the three easiest to lie about
Three words I forgot to say to you
Before I was gone
I miss you
Your voice
Your humor
Every moment I'm not with you
I feel as if I don't deserve life
As if I'm inpure
As if I'm not whole
So I mark my arm
Two letters carved into a heart
A lowercase m
And an uppercase J
Until then
I will never forget you
You were the best part of my life
I don't think I can go on without you
And I don't have the guts to take a gun and quit
Eventually I'll have the will
But all I can do now is cry
Cry and wait
For my time
For our time
To be together again
In heaven

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SMUGmari

guess what this vid is about tehe

3 weeks ago | [YT] | 0

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SMUGmari

Little drawing I had the patience to make

Also if y'all didn't know, you can join my discord server through my links here on YouTube

3 weeks ago | [YT] | 0

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SMUGmari

Really gives "sorry" doesn't it? Really. Makes me think they missed me or cared about me ever hm? No, no it doesn't, this is what I meant when I said they didn't care about me, I go to unblock them and turns out they edited their message just to tell em to kill myself♡ after everything they actually didn't care and I knew it I try to let them be together and be happy and not get in the way, but oh, of course, my existence alone gets in the way, it's not my fault you got broken up with

Correction, not em, I meant to say me

1 month ago (edited) | [YT] | 0

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SMUGmari

Me because my life is falling to shit again and again

My fav art program is now "watch add to use any brush"
My girlfriend broke up with me because of someone I was friends with, told me if I cut them off she would date me again, then fucking got with my BEST FRIEND and had the fucking AUDACITY TO LIE TO ME WHEN I CONFRONTED THEM then after all of that THEY FUCKING TRIED TO SAY SORRY on top of everything, I'm failing in school, I can't even fucking win one kahoot, I can't breathe anymore, i need 7 fucking Tylenol pills to even function every day, I'm pretty sure I'm schizophrenic, im too fucking cocky to get mental help, and I'm too fragile to just forgive them everyone who tries to help me makes me feel worse, I'm too much of a pussy to kill myself on my own and I'm too lazy to devote myself to art or making content, I can't fucking sleep anymore because I feel like I'll have sleep paralysis, when I cut myself I'm too scared to cut deep enough for it to bleed, I can't tell anyone my problems face to face, I can't hold a relationship, and I'm fucking failing at life, the Internet ruined me and I'll never be normal again, nobody in my life trusts me or fucking likes me and I'm genuinely just a burden at this point I'm honestly about to fucking overdose and fall asleep so I don't have to deal with the pain of this anymore Im fucking done with everyone I'm falling in love with doing this shit or dying I'm going to hell and I wish I could've been there 4 years ago already, I wish I died when I drank the fucking pinesaul, I wish I shot myself I wish I was dead and I wish I wasn't so much of a pussy to not have already done it

1 month ago | [YT] | 0

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SMUGmari

Dear everyone who reads this!!! I will be officially ending my life (live on yt) on the 21st of March, 23:59 (military time) anyone and everyone who wishes to attend may, and everyone who shows will hear my final thanks!

1 month ago | [YT] | 0

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SMUGmari

lil teaser (yes i have been working on things believe it or not)