My CEO Asked Me To Zip Up Her Dress And Said: “Try Not To Shake.”

My Mom’s Friend Turned Off Porch Light And Said: “Good… Now No One Can See The Way You Look At Me.”

My Girlfriend’s Mother Looked At My Empty Seat Beside Her And Said: “You Can Sit Closer Than That.”

My Best Friend’s Mother Saw Me Leave And Said: “Leaving Already? I Was Just Enjoying This.”

My Mom’s Friend Closed The Curtain, Turned Around Said: “Now Tell Me Why You Keep Coming Back Here.”

My Best Friend’s Mom Saw Me Sleeping On The Couch — Then Said: “That’s A Waste Of A Good Man.”

My CEO Set Me Up On A Blind Date… Then Walked In Wearing Red.

My Girlfriend’s Mom Poured Me A Drink After Funeral And Said: “You Shouldn’t Sleep Alone Tonight.”

I Fell Asleep In The Meeting Room — My Boss Touched My Hair And Said: “Don’t Wake Up Yet.”

After The Funeral, My Wife’s Mother Took My Hand And Said: “Not Tonight.”

“We Can’t Leave Tonight.” I Said: “There’s Only One Bed.”

I Went To My Best Friend’s Wedding, And His Mom Came Up To Me And Said: "Do You Want To Dance?"

I Was Tricked Into A Date With A Paralyzed Girl — She Said: "You’ll Leave Like Everyone Else."

I Walked In On My CEO Boss Crying, And She Said: 'I Want You To Be My Boyfriend.'

I Fell Asleep On My Boss’s Shoulder During A Meeting — She Said: "You Can Sleep If You Want."

My Mom’s Friend Said: "Tonight… I Don’t Want To Go Home." I Replied: "You Can Stay Here If You Want"

I Said, “This Is A Bad Idea.” My Boss Climbed Onto My Desk, Smirked, “Then Why Are You Still Here?”

I Was Fixing Her Door When She Asked, “Would You Ever Date A Single Mom?”

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