Dawn. Rose-blushed bluing skies. A good morning fire in the stove. A hot cup of coffee. Sparky out foraging off the front porch.
I am so happy here. Life has taken on a smooth, calm rhythm. It's splash face/brush teeth (water), build a fire, start coffee, go out on the front porch with Sparky, music & first sip of hot, fresh coffee, later eggs and toast, walk Sparky to the Israel River...bath, and chores and writing and reading.
I look forward to winter. A bon iver hopefully. The mountains are snowcapped times a week so within another two weeks the snow will have spread and taken hold in this valley.
"An easy swing had its time shouldered
Slow bending axe
Now it's a photo framed
The swing hasn't had it." (Bon Iver)
I look forward to a long, cold, silent winter. I miss the snow. I miss the aloneness. Winter brings everything into sharp focus. Winter turns out the unnecessary in my mind.
Tanya's son, Joshua, is doing alright. We are in the Aftermath. I am too overly protective. He is 19. By law and worldly wares, he is considered an adult. That scares me so. The world says he is responsible for his actions and responsible for handling his business. I am trying to get him on a solid, adult-world foundation.
Because I know how this goes. The Aftermath. When time has gone by and all the money and material things have been absconded, divided up, and/or released then people will go back to their lives. I want to make sure that Joshua at the least acquires a solid foundation under him. An independent of others and solid foundation to start.
Aftermath. His Mom is gone. His Dad will eventually leave again,( this is his fourth death of a lover/wife), he will receive Tanya's Social Security in the form of Survivor Benefits for life now and his Grandma will be who she has always been in the past....in over her head in debt constantly working on her house, living a lifestyle she cannot afford and she will soon be demanding that Joshua pay house bills...just like she did Tanya and kept Tanya under constant financial stress. Right now they are all saying Joshua is not adult enough to handle the monies his Mom worked every day to leave for him. But soon, that will change completely, when they have run through the money then he will be adult enough to work and pay others bills.
I know that all may sound dark and affronting perhaps if you are young and haven't been through a bunch of funerals. But this is what usually happens. Rose-colored glasses off. We are into the AfterMath.
And so, I fight for Joshua. Because his Mom is gone.
November 11, 2025 Veteran's Day
The snow has claimed the valleys here. Seeped down from the mountains and spread like white icing....with the same effect..for me...tastes of visual calm and peace.
It's just us locals now. The 'summer' places all closed up now. It's just us.
I have been ill since returning from Florida. I think sitting and driving 14 hours a day for two days was big no no. It's my digestive system that is all messed up. I am doing peppermint oil, probiotics, Fage yogurt and ginger and garlic. Finally went to Dartmouth...scans and nothing life threatening. So uncomfortable. So, yesterday, I tried to just 'act as if' I am physically fine.....I hiked, I went to Lowes, I fed the outside wildlife, ---- this morning I woke up to these weird upper body pains...it's fine, I am going to 'act as if' and haul a good amount of wood in.
I just have a really hard time with this whole aging thing. I turn 60 in February. Shocking!! I still expect my body to just do whatever I want it to do. I mean it always has in the past just done whatever I asked of it.
I am hedging around a thing that came to me. It read, "The young years of the twenties through the forties are the Gaining Years, the aging years of fifty and onward, are the Losing Years." I think perhaps -- but I am skittering around this -- it may be a truth. Diseases or genetic weaknesses, lying in quiet, undetected dormancy through the Gaining Years, rise up and present themselves in sharp focus during the Losing Years. I do not yet know how to deal with loss. But loss I am dealing with right now....I am thinking I could learn a format in this present loss that I can use in future losses that I know are coming. But I don't know.....I don't know....I just...don't know. I feel my whole decade of 50 was a coasting time. I so enjoyed that time. A decade of resting/wallowing in the life I had created for myself in the Gaining Years. Now, approaching 60, I feel perhaps it will be Losing Years now. Learning to navigate loss. My brother...and another lifelong friend...they are gonna go....I don't know..if I can map how I get through this loss of Tanya and follow that through future losses.
Ok. Hot coffee. Time to go haul wood and feed the lil birdees. Get around and see if these weird pains in my upper body work themselves out to clear.
I just want to go back to being in the clear. I just want to be in the clear again.
May I ask, after suffering a loss of a loved one, does life go back to the clear I knew before the loss?
Or will the f'ing, stupid saying: "A new normal." be the way of it?
Will this emotional cloudy unstablized clutter fuck remain?
I walk here
In the flaming forests of autumn,
Aglow in the sun/slant, yellow-gold light.
Dissolve me into Your mists,
Oh Great Spirit, I come alone here.
Breathe me into You that I might exhale.
I come alone here
Baring burdens, sharing joys,
Typing on a keyboard whose letters have worn away.
Simple offerings, raw and tender
I come alone here.
Traveled down south to West Virginia with Sparky to see my Mom and brother. They just moved once again to a better place. A rancher style so everything is on one floor and no steps. "Comfortable". My brother is in Hospice Care -- has been for two years....they are keeping him "comfortable". I had to go down and see the new place for myself and make sure that he is "comfortable."
My best friend in Florida is at the Mayo Hospital in the Critical Care Unit. She was on the list for a double transplant, liver and kidney, but ------------ they are keeping her "comfortable" until her husband makes the decision to release her...turn the machines off. He is not "comfortable" with making that decision.
Sparky loves my brother. My brother came to my home up here in the far north of New Hampshire two and a half years ago for a long visit. He told me he was Stage Four then. Sparky was so happy and just loved him so much. I wish my brother had stayed here. I know how to take care of --- to make "comfortable". But his friends and our whole family is in that tri-state area, Virginia, West Virginia and Maryland but for me.....the sister of the wilder places...faint traces.
Autumn is on fire here. It is good to go and then return to "home sweet home". I live very close to the Canadian Border. It is very quiet here. I had forgotten how loud the world is. I returned home, racing beneath the Harvest Super Moon, so quiet here that I could hear my own heart beat --- my blood coursing through my body so strong.....I thought it was the sound of someone digging outside my house!!! Animal or a mad man!! No!!! IT IS ME!! Beat, bitch, beat! Wilder Beast Beat! Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump.
My angered blood is so strong in this maelstrom that has just begun.
Come, break bread with me your Pavarana has risen!
Come, my dearest friend, how can I make you comfortable?
Is there something, anything, more that I can do?
You know that I would move heaven and earth for you?
But Oh --- I feel you --- I see the silver Harvest Moon
And I know oh my dearest friend I can feel you going.
Oh -- my beloved sister -- my best friend -- I know
That I have to let you go.
Go sweet sister take your leave and go.
I woke at 1:30 a.m. and sat beneath the silver full moon. A calm.
I woke at 6 a.m. with a start. She was here. I could feel her spirit here............flitting around all happy....trying to tell me how great it is......flitting around surprised and so very happy......trying to tell me through her laughter how great it all is.....wondrous, she was wondrous. And I just sat weeping.....and glad for her and sad for us and trying to feel it with her spirit. I twirled in the early morning sun....trying to be in it with her ... but I am sad. I was angry yesterday evening and now, I am just sad. And she is flitting around jamming to Green Grass and High Tides.
I leave for Florida in a couple days to be with her son and her Mom and husband.
My anger is spent. LOL She won't let me listen to any sad music.....it's BRM: Gratitude now. LOL "Well, we better not fuck this up." LOL She loves my home.
I am gonna go be with her now. Just dance and cry and dance.
Sister spirits!
Aflame.
October 15, 2025
It is 5:25 a.m. I woke at 4. I wrote and posted the FaceBook Post of Tanya's obituary just now.
I am here in Florida with her son and mother.
Her dog, Bain and cat, Fluffy. I gave Fluffy to Tanya and Joshua when Joshua was one year old. He is 19 now. A 6'4" young man.
I am being helpful. Keeping a List for Thank you notes to be sent out later. Making arrangements. Cleaning house.
Today will be laundry and cleaning the patio around the pool. And sorting and stacking piles of paperwork. Most to be sent to be shredded.
Tomorrow, I will go into her room and clean. Tomorrow...not today...no, not today. Tomorrow.
I take Sparky to the beach early so he gets his excercise while it is cool out. Joshua said he wants to go with us this morning. OK.
OK
October 28, 2025
Home from Florida.
Snow capped.
Tamarack glow.
Quiet.
I know this is selfish and self-centered but I am asking:
Who am I gonna call now? When I have bruised up my heart And I am falling apart Who am I gonna call... When I have conquered a saw And learned how to forage it all And its crazy how my garden grows Who am I gonna call... When I feel lonely and blue Or I'm soaring over the moon And I have yet another brand new dream Who am I gonna call... When the first snow falls When an ex-boyfriend calls When a chickadee lands in my hand Who am I gonna call now?
October 29, 2025
Diary entry:
Wood smoke. Pre-dawn. The big, white fluffy beast runs the wilder places. I linger here out off my front porch...not being certain of what all I have just lost in one person....
My physical body is a little run down. I ran hard.
Doctor says I have to take it easy.
First light. Damp face. Tears stain. Empty space.
October 30, 2025
Diary entry:
She wrote, "Because I could not stop for death." But this death! I am stopping for. Sometimes the world just keeps us moving so fast -- that we cannot stop even long enough to feel. But the life I have made by Grace here for myself is a life in which I feel every thing. EVERYTHING. I made myself this open vessel. I make myself clear -- no pills, no puffs, no bumps, no shots, no swigs, no slams, no pricks -- clear -- sober -- awake! I choose this every day. I choose this and I feel every thing.
There is nothing finer but than to go out and get the world all over oneself.
This is being alive. Luxuriating in being alive ... means to open oneself up to every single living element -- ALL -- believe me -- ALL -- Every thing has life. Every thing is alive. Even inanimate objects are imprinted with the energy of what created them. Every object has its birthplace in the creative energy in the mind of a person. Be they born out of mere necessity, or great passion and love, or worship and spirit, or function and form -- irregardless -- every thing comes from energy and every thing has life.
End entry.
Self care. Steal away. Heal slowly. Grieve today.
I am tinged with anger at my body. My aging body. I turn 60!! What!!??!! in February. (She knew the miracle that it is that I am still alive -- that I made it out to clear. to be here.. now..she watched it all. We walked out together, she lead the way...to clear.)
Out of Darkness, Baring Light.
Anyway, went to the doc again. I have to be still....I have to. So, here I am in bed with Sparky at my feet. Being still. Being cooperative. I do not like that I have no choice...I mean, I have to stay still in order for my body to heal up.
Outside my window the tamaracks have hold of the color show of the mountains and forests now. Its like a second fall sorta. A Tamarack tree's needles turn a golden orange-yellow and then fall in a slow trickle in fall. I love to walk beneath tamarack forests in the soft, aglow path of their needles. I like to reach up and feel the branches and the little knobbys that new needles will grow from again in spring. There is a perfect tamarack forest trail here but I cannot go there and walk right now. I go there in my mind. If I remain still and heal now, I may be able to walk there before the snow covers. I call it Tamarack Way.
!!! When will I stop picking up the phone to call her !!!!!!!!!!! ???? !!!!!!!!
F me.
October 31, 2025
Explorer: someone who travels to places where no one has ever been in order to find out what is there and learn about it
"One famous month The Explorers gathered together to map the same difficult terrain. Though utterly dependent on one another to survive; they struggled with the unusual proximity. Each evening they made their maps while sitting on the ground, backs to the fire, elbows crooked over their papers. The flames shrunk in the cruel lands they came to and The Explorers who used to cold hands and faces, now worked with cold backs as well. As the journey eked on they took to walking in an outward facing circle taking turns moving forwards, backwards and sideways. With supplies insupportably low, the Direction Wheel whirled into a small unnamed town where it finally spun out and scattered. The small plot of land in which they had arrived was fenced off. It remains blank on every globe, every atlas, in every roaming heart." Peter Coyote narrative in the movie "Here" with Ben Foster
Look for me in spring's transparent air. I flit like vanishing wings, no heavier than a sound, a breath, a sunray on the floor; I'm lighter than that ray -- it's there: I'm gone.
But we are friends for ever, undivided! Listen: I'm here. Your hands can feel the way to reach me with their living touch, extended trembling into the restless flame of day.
Happen to close your eyelids, while you linger... Make me one final effort, and you might find at the nerve-ends of each quivering finger brushes of secret fire as I ignite.
These Days In Years To Come/Hands Off Public Lands
What can be said of these days?
I could wax poetic of Spring for you my loves,
I could rose color glass our surfaces
I could move your hearts in altruistic ways
And this you know very well.
But all of that is not what will be said
About these days in years to come.
If you have been blessed with an audience,
Subscribers, pod -ers, tiktok -ers or podium
It is not by some coincidence
Not by luck, connections or want.
And this you know very well.
I cannot bring myself to ask of you
For I myself fear consequence.
But that is not what should be said of our days
By future generations years to come.
Do we not all stand here together at a precipice
To fall into it for a future we cannot even comprehend!
My loves, I know you feel as I do,
And I am sorry but there is no safer place to move.
We are going to have to make a stand.
And that is what can be said of these days,
By beautiful grandchildren in years to come.
LadyLore&Sparky
LadyLore&Sparky
THE VLOG:
November 5, 2025
Dawn. Rose-blushed bluing skies. A good morning fire in the stove. A hot cup of coffee. Sparky out foraging off the front porch.
I am so happy here. Life has taken on a smooth, calm rhythm. It's splash face/brush teeth (water), build a fire, start coffee, go out on the front porch with Sparky, music & first sip of hot, fresh coffee, later eggs and toast, walk Sparky to the Israel River...bath, and chores and writing and reading.
I look forward to winter. A bon iver hopefully. The mountains are snowcapped times a week so within another two weeks the snow will have spread and taken hold in this valley.
"An easy swing had its time shouldered
Slow bending axe
Now it's a photo framed
The swing hasn't had it." (Bon Iver)
I look forward to a long, cold, silent winter. I miss the snow. I miss the aloneness. Winter brings everything into sharp focus. Winter turns out the unnecessary in my mind.
Tanya's son, Joshua, is doing alright. We are in the Aftermath. I am too overly protective. He is 19. By law and worldly wares, he is considered an adult. That scares me so. The world says he is responsible for his actions and responsible for handling his business. I am trying to get him on a solid, adult-world foundation.
Because I know how this goes. The Aftermath. When time has gone by and all the money and material things have been absconded, divided up, and/or released then people will go back to their lives. I want to make sure that Joshua at the least acquires a solid foundation under him. An independent of others and solid foundation to start.
Aftermath. His Mom is gone. His Dad will eventually leave again,( this is his fourth death of a lover/wife), he will receive Tanya's Social Security in the form of Survivor Benefits for life now and his Grandma will be who she has always been in the past....in over her head in debt constantly working on her house, living a lifestyle she cannot afford and she will soon be demanding that Joshua pay house bills...just like she did Tanya and kept Tanya under constant financial stress. Right now they are all saying Joshua is not adult enough to handle the monies his Mom worked every day to leave for him. But soon, that will change completely, when they have run through the money then he will be adult enough to work and pay others bills.
I know that all may sound dark and affronting perhaps if you are young and haven't been through a bunch of funerals. But this is what usually happens. Rose-colored glasses off. We are into the AfterMath.
And so, I fight for Joshua. Because his Mom is gone.
November 11, 2025 Veteran's Day
The snow has claimed the valleys here. Seeped down from the mountains and spread like white icing....with the same effect..for me...tastes of visual calm and peace.
It's just us locals now. The 'summer' places all closed up now. It's just us.
I have been ill since returning from Florida. I think sitting and driving 14 hours a day for two days was big no no. It's my digestive system that is all messed up. I am doing peppermint oil, probiotics, Fage yogurt and ginger and garlic. Finally went to Dartmouth...scans and nothing life threatening. So uncomfortable. So, yesterday, I tried to just 'act as if' I am physically fine.....I hiked, I went to Lowes, I fed the outside wildlife, ---- this morning I woke up to these weird upper body pains...it's fine, I am going to 'act as if' and haul a good amount of wood in.
I just have a really hard time with this whole aging thing. I turn 60 in February. Shocking!! I still expect my body to just do whatever I want it to do. I mean it always has in the past just done whatever I asked of it.
I am hedging around a thing that came to me. It read, "The young years of the twenties through the forties are the Gaining Years, the aging years of fifty and onward, are the Losing Years." I think perhaps -- but I am skittering around this -- it may be a truth. Diseases or genetic weaknesses, lying in quiet, undetected dormancy through the Gaining Years, rise up and present themselves in sharp focus during the Losing Years. I do not yet know how to deal with loss. But loss I am dealing with right now....I am thinking I could learn a format in this present loss that I can use in future losses that I know are coming. But I don't know.....I don't know....I just...don't know. I feel my whole decade of 50 was a coasting time. I so enjoyed that time. A decade of resting/wallowing in the life I had created for myself in the Gaining Years. Now, approaching 60, I feel perhaps it will be Losing Years now. Learning to navigate loss. My brother...and another lifelong friend...they are gonna go....I don't know..if I can map how I get through this loss of Tanya and follow that through future losses.
Ok. Hot coffee. Time to go haul wood and feed the lil birdees. Get around and see if these weird pains in my upper body work themselves out to clear.
I just want to go back to being in the clear. I just want to be in the clear again.
May I ask, after suffering a loss of a loved one, does life go back to the clear I knew before the loss?
Or will the f'ing, stupid saying: "A new normal." be the way of it?
Will this emotional cloudy unstablized clutter fuck remain?
The empty space .... what about that?
Ok. Haul wood now.....just go do....
1 week ago (edited) | [YT] | 0
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LadyLore&Sparky
I walk here
In the flaming forests of autumn,
Aglow in the sun/slant, yellow-gold light.
Dissolve me into Your mists,
Oh Great Spirit, I come alone here.
Breathe me into You that I might exhale.
I come alone here
Baring burdens, sharing joys,
Typing on a keyboard whose letters have worn away.
Simple offerings, raw and tender
I come alone here.
1 month ago | [YT] | 0
View 0 replies
LadyLore&Sparky
The VLOG
'My diary screaming out loud.'
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FcvXr...
October 8, 2025:
Traveled down south to West Virginia with Sparky to see my Mom and brother. They just moved once again to a better place. A rancher style so everything is on one floor and no steps. "Comfortable". My brother is in Hospice Care -- has been for two years....they are keeping him "comfortable". I had to go down and see the new place for myself and make sure that he is "comfortable."
My best friend in Florida is at the Mayo Hospital in the Critical Care Unit. She was on the list for a double transplant, liver and kidney, but ------------ they are keeping her "comfortable" until her husband makes the decision to release her...turn the machines off. He is not "comfortable" with making that decision.
Sparky loves my brother. My brother came to my home up here in the far north of New Hampshire two and a half years ago for a long visit. He told me he was Stage Four then. Sparky was so happy and just loved him so much. I wish my brother had stayed here. I know how to take care of --- to make "comfortable". But his friends and our whole family is in that tri-state area, Virginia, West Virginia and Maryland but for me.....the sister of the wilder places...faint traces.
Autumn is on fire here. It is good to go and then return to "home sweet home". I live very close to the Canadian Border. It is very quiet here. I had forgotten how loud the world is. I returned home, racing beneath the Harvest Super Moon, so quiet here that I could hear my own heart beat --- my blood coursing through my body so strong.....I thought it was the sound of someone digging outside my house!!! Animal or a mad man!! No!!! IT IS ME!! Beat, bitch, beat! Wilder Beast Beat! Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump.
My angered blood is so strong in this maelstrom that has just begun.
Come, break bread with me your Pavarana has risen!
Come, my dearest friend, how can I make you comfortable?
Is there something, anything, more that I can do?
You know that I would move heaven and earth for you?
But Oh --- I feel you --- I see the silver Harvest Moon
And I know oh my dearest friend I can feel you going.
Oh -- my beloved sister -- my best friend -- I know
That I have to let you go.
Go sweet sister take your leave and go.
October 9, 2025:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i4v1_...
She is gone. My best friend has passed over.
I woke at 1:30 a.m. and sat beneath the silver full moon. A calm.
I woke at 6 a.m. with a start. She was here. I could feel her spirit here............flitting around all happy....trying to tell me how great it is......flitting around surprised and so very happy......trying to tell me through her laughter how great it all is.....wondrous, she was wondrous. And I just sat weeping.....and glad for her and sad for us and trying to feel it with her spirit. I twirled in the early morning sun....trying to be in it with her ... but I am sad. I was angry yesterday evening and now, I am just sad. And she is flitting around jamming to Green Grass and High Tides.
I leave for Florida in a couple days to be with her son and her Mom and husband.
My anger is spent. LOL She won't let me listen to any sad music.....it's BRM: Gratitude now. LOL "Well, we better not fuck this up." LOL She loves my home.
I am gonna go be with her now. Just dance and cry and dance.
Sister spirits!
Aflame.
October 15, 2025
It is 5:25 a.m. I woke at 4. I wrote and posted the FaceBook Post of Tanya's obituary just now.
I am here in Florida with her son and mother.
Her dog, Bain and cat, Fluffy. I gave Fluffy to Tanya and Joshua when Joshua was one year old. He is 19 now. A 6'4" young man.
I am being helpful. Keeping a List for Thank you notes to be sent out later. Making arrangements. Cleaning house.
Today will be laundry and cleaning the patio around the pool. And sorting and stacking piles of paperwork. Most to be sent to be shredded.
Tomorrow, I will go into her room and clean. Tomorrow...not today...no, not today. Tomorrow.
I take Sparky to the beach early so he gets his excercise while it is cool out. Joshua said he wants to go with us this morning. OK.
OK
October 28, 2025
Home from Florida.
Snow capped.
Tamarack glow.
Quiet.
I know this is selfish and self-centered but I am asking:
Who am I gonna call now?
When I have bruised up my heart
And I am falling apart
Who am I gonna call...
When I have conquered a saw
And learned how to forage it all
And its crazy how my garden grows
Who am I gonna call...
When I feel lonely and blue
Or I'm soaring over the moon
And I have yet another brand new dream
Who am I gonna call...
When the first snow falls
When an ex-boyfriend calls
When a chickadee lands in my hand
Who am I gonna call now?
October 29, 2025
Diary entry:
Wood smoke. Pre-dawn. The big, white fluffy beast runs the wilder places. I linger here out off my front porch...not being certain of what all I have just lost in one person....
My physical body is a little run down. I ran hard.
Doctor says I have to take it easy.
First light. Damp face. Tears stain. Empty space.
October 30, 2025
Diary entry:
She wrote, "Because I could not stop for death." But this death! I am stopping for. Sometimes the world just keeps us moving so fast -- that we cannot stop even long enough to feel. But the life I have made by Grace here for myself is a life in which I feel every thing. EVERYTHING. I made myself this open vessel. I make myself clear -- no pills, no puffs, no bumps, no shots, no swigs, no slams, no pricks -- clear -- sober -- awake! I choose this every day. I choose this and I feel every thing.
There is nothing finer but than to go out and get the world all over oneself.
This is being alive. Luxuriating in being alive ... means to open oneself up to every single living element -- ALL -- believe me -- ALL -- Every thing has life. Every thing is alive. Even inanimate objects are imprinted with the energy of what created them. Every object has its birthplace in the creative energy in the mind of a person. Be they born out of mere necessity, or great passion and love, or worship and spirit, or function and form -- irregardless -- every thing comes from energy and every thing has life.
End entry.
Self care. Steal away. Heal slowly. Grieve today.
I am tinged with anger at my body. My aging body. I turn 60!! What!!??!! in February. (She knew the miracle that it is that I am still alive -- that I made it out to clear. to be here.. now..she watched it all. We walked out together, she lead the way...to clear.)
Out of Darkness, Baring Light.
Anyway, went to the doc again. I have to be still....I have to. So, here I am in bed with Sparky at my feet. Being still. Being cooperative. I do not like that I have no choice...I mean, I have to stay still in order for my body to heal up.
Outside my window the tamaracks have hold of the color show of the mountains and forests now. Its like a second fall sorta. A Tamarack tree's needles turn a golden orange-yellow and then fall in a slow trickle in fall. I love to walk beneath tamarack forests in the soft, aglow path of their needles. I like to reach up and feel the branches and the little knobbys that new needles will grow from again in spring. There is a perfect tamarack forest trail here but I cannot go there and walk right now. I go there in my mind. If I remain still and heal now, I may be able to walk there before the snow covers. I call it Tamarack Way.
!!! When will I stop picking up the phone to call her !!!!!!!!!!! ???? !!!!!!!!
F me.
October 31, 2025
Explorer: someone who travels to places where no one has ever been in order to find out what is there and learn about it
"One famous month The Explorers gathered together to map the same difficult terrain. Though utterly dependent on one another to survive; they struggled with the unusual proximity. Each evening they made their maps while sitting on the ground, backs to the fire, elbows crooked over their papers. The flames shrunk in the cruel lands they came to and The Explorers who used to cold hands and faces, now worked with cold backs as well. As the journey eked on they took to walking in an outward facing circle taking turns moving forwards, backwards and sideways. With supplies insupportably low, the Direction Wheel whirled into a small unnamed town where it finally spun out and scattered. The small plot of land in which they had arrived was fenced off. It remains blank on every globe, every atlas, in every roaming heart."
Peter Coyote narrative in the movie "Here" with Ben Foster
Direction Wheel???
upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/1/17/…
wildernesstorah.org/wilderness-torah/2010/12/29/th…
windspeaker.com/teachings/the-medicine-wheel
November 4, 2025
"...whether weather be the frost,
Is there a line that I can just go cross?"
1 month ago (edited) | [YT] | 0
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LadyLore&Sparky
,Look For Me
Look for me in spring's transparent air.
I flit like vanishing wings, no heavier than
a sound, a breath, a sunray on the floor;
I'm lighter than that ray -- it's there: I'm gone.
But we are friends for ever, undivided!
Listen: I'm here. Your hands can feel the way
to reach me with their living touch, extended
trembling into the restless flame of day.
Happen to close your eyelids, while you linger...
Make me one final effort, and you might
find at the nerve-ends of each quivering finger
brushes of secret fire as I ignite.
Valdislav Khodasevich (1886-1939)
2 months ago | [YT] | 0
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LadyLore&Sparky
"You are my medicine..."
2 months ago | [YT] | 0
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LadyLore&Sparky
These Days In Years To Come/Hands Off Public Lands
What can be said of these days?
I could wax poetic of Spring for you my loves,
I could rose color glass our surfaces
I could move your hearts in altruistic ways
And this you know very well.
But all of that is not what will be said
About these days in years to come.
If you have been blessed with an audience,
Subscribers, pod -ers, tiktok -ers or podium
It is not by some coincidence
Not by luck, connections or want.
And this you know very well.
I cannot bring myself to ask of you
For I myself fear consequence.
But that is not what should be said of our days
By future generations years to come.
Do we not all stand here together at a precipice
To fall into it for a future we cannot even comprehend!
My loves, I know you feel as I do,
And I am sorry but there is no safer place to move.
We are going to have to make a stand.
And that is what can be said of these days,
By beautiful grandchildren in years to come.
5 months ago (edited) | [YT] | 0
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