Chunky Thunder Studios

As we go into the new year, I challenge whoever reads this to go into the new year with a 5 year plan. Dream big and plan small has been a cardinal direction in my life and as I adjust year by year I might not reach my goals how I originally planned, but I'm meeting them. I get closer and closer literally every week and every month. This is my 5 year roadmap:

2025: Officially enter into the video game industry.
2026: Build my personal portfolio on the side for Chunky Thunder to publish a game.
2027: Publish my first game.
2028: Put together a team under Chunky Thunder.
2029: Publish the studios first game and submit for indie game awards.

So to all take a deep breath, stay focused, and above all stay happy. Happy New Year.

3 months ago | [YT] | 0

Chunky Thunder Studios

What subjects should I cover next?

7 months ago | [YT] | 0

Chunky Thunder Studios

New video uploaded! It was the first song by the project Lost Colony. With ‪@sam_winslow‬ on guitar (look up his guitar play throughs) Justin Tangeman on drums (who now does F1 content) and then mixed and mastered by the powerhouse ‪@Iron_Audio‬ who also added a layer of production to the project. One of my favorites I've been a part of!

7 months ago | [YT] | 0

Chunky Thunder Studios

My 9-5 got heavily in the way, but rest assured I'm getting back at it and I have more interviews lined up!

7 months ago | [YT] | 0

Chunky Thunder Studios

Kintsugi is metaphorical, philosophical, and conceptual. If you're lucky enough to be born "normal" then that's parallel to being born perfect. Put together by the artist of life and it's resources. Then the more experience, the more you stress, weather, and crack. And it's only a matter of time before you break. However you don't have to put yourself back together alone. Find a way to gather the pieces of yourself. Find your resin that is your hope. Glue those pieces back together and use that hope as an unbreakable bond, then coat the ugly cracks with gold. These golden highlighted pathways are your journey, your life's story, and if you put forth the effort, the process will work and you'll come out not only stronger but even more beautiful.

10 months ago | [YT] | 0

Chunky Thunder Studios

The only barriers are the ones that you've decided to accept. How do we escape the rat race? We share what we're good at and what we love with other people. Success is not measured by things. "The Machine" is imaginary. It is ultimately a choice. Choose to participate or not. And these two paths are wildly different. But it's only advantageous to the government, not the taxpayers. In earlier days, you opted out the system and you'd be crucified or burned at the stake. But we have the ability to play by our own rules. Easier said than done, but capability is there. In our hearts we have an artistic and a bio-mechanical inclination towards what we love. That feeling, or physical manifestation, could be our love for math, philosophy, physical excellence, painting, anything. But we need to put in the effort and study to explore that feeling in our body. That passion and purpose. When our heart and brain are conditioned differently it leads to numerous issues in our lives. Depression through anguish is no way to live and we should have the right to explore ourselves and our gifts without the worry of not eating or being homeless.

11 months ago | [YT] | 0

Chunky Thunder Studios

When we lose our emotions we also lose our sense of identity. The world is just a collection of people living by different ideologies. Those ideologies come from a mix of both geographical location and historical politics. Sprinkle in the factor of constant modernity and the motivations of those in power and sometimes we find that we don't fit in where we are.
I became dissociative many years ago growing up in an extremely dysfunctional household. And when trauma is chronic, eventually your brain says "I've had enough" and now some of the lights are on, they're dim, but ultimately you're just surviving to the next day. You don't get the luxury to be emotional and identify and process your feelings.
Fast forward to me also enlisting and in a constant high stress environment we have to turn our emotions off for the sake of the mission. We have to make hard decisions that directly impact the lives of people and if you decide to utilize the resources the DoD offers then it also impacts your career.
I tell all this because I've been trying to gain my identity back. From religious trauma at a young age to militant trauma of recent age I've been living my entire life for other people and it occurred to me that I barely know who I am. I never had supportive parents, I've always had to find my own way, and in that journey it's lead to me constantly relying on someone else.
So if identity is ultimately formed by stringing together emotional events, but I've been disassociated for the better part of 30 years, then who am I?

11 months ago | [YT] | 0

Chunky Thunder Studios

I believe in dreaming big. But I also believe in planning small. When it comes to finding our purpose, a prerequisite to that is finding the motivation. And motivation is hard. It comes in waves, it ebbs and it flows, and at some point you realize it's not the motivation you need, it's the discipline. The day in and day out seemingly endless grind. However when we have that goal in mind, that big dream, there's always some unnecessary attached requirement. If I'm an IT major, why in the world do I need to take intro to agriculture, or Spanish 101? How does that actually contribute to my main efforts? It doesn't. It's not enough. But they add up. Does adding some vegetables to your meal make you a nutritionist? Does taking your trash out make you a sanitization expert? No, but the further we get away from these requirements, the further we get away from ourselves, and the more we get away from our goal. The further we get away from ourselves, the more we forget how to be with ourselves. And in this day and age we run right to the internet who quite literally preys (and prays) on all of our insecurities. Somebody is selling some panacea somewhere. Somebody has EXACTLY what you need to make more money, get a better jaw line, improve your thigh gap, get a couple inches taller, whatever it is you hate about yourself. "The rest of the world" is telling you what you need to do, but it's like walking down a market street. Imagine going to the grocery store, you turn down an alleyway because you heard it's a shortcut, and as you're walking you get immediately bombarded by people who all seemingly work at those sunglasses huts and phone/internet stands and everyone is pulling you this way then that way, you lose your whole sense of direction and that's just like losing sense of your internal compass. Just to come out the other end and find out that wasn't a shortcut at all. You just crossed the block inside instead of outside. The grocery store is still the same distance sitting there on the corner. The point here is the answer isn't in all of that "externalization" it's in our focus. If we can find those moments to get out of the way of ourselves then we can better find our purpose through focus and through discipline because there's no more white noise clouding our vision. What stands in the way, becomes the way.

11 months ago | [YT] | 1

Chunky Thunder Studios

People: WoUlD yOu ChOoSe A mAn Or A bEaR?
Me:

11 months ago | [YT] | 0

Chunky Thunder Studios

I've always concluded that ego is for self protection but I never questioned where ego comes from. Where does the need for self protection come from? What am I protecting myself from? Insecurity. Well what's insecurity other than an external observation? Constantly comparing yourself to everything you see and hear is where ego comes from. Ego is born out of comparison. True confidence comes from accepting you for who you are through and through. That's the only way to fix insecurity. We know the common aphorism about comparison but I'll give you an uncommon one that resonated with me. "If you knew how much people thought of you you'd spend a lot less time worrying about what others think of you."

11 months ago | [YT] | 1