《🌷𝖞𝖎𝖘𝖚𝖐𝖎🌷》

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is it just me or does every time i try to be " positive " or " happy " like i was before on yt or in irl i just feel more and more horrible ? , i feel like the more i try to convince myself that i can still have a chance to be happy the more " heartless " and horrible i feel later -- :) .

i always try to convince myself to forgive everyone who hurt me but tbh at this point i feel more mad at myself to a point i have been " bursting out " in anger or sadness and ofc i always get blamed for it , back then i used to be able to hold myself back WAY better but now i cant even stand to see any human being mostly people who hurt me or trash-talked about me and now i feel nothing of " joy " or " happy " feelings tbh all i do now is hate / cry like crazy / burst out in anger , or harm myself in any way , and im tired asf to a point i passed out and fell on the ground 2 days ago bc of my bad health its so pathetic to me honestly i dont want " help " any more i didnt get help when i needed it when the harm was really bad so why would i need anyone to help me now -- ? :) .

i feel like when ever anyone says the words " i love you " or anything like that to me i get "set off" or mad in a sad way if that even makes sense , be serious do you actually expect me to even care anymore ? when you litterally LEFT ME ALONE to get harmed over and over and over again when i gave up everything i loved and cared about for you bc i loved you and everyone else just at the end for your @ss to come up to me after months of harming me and say that ? ( not targetted , and ik no one forced me to but i really believed that you actually cared for me and loved me so i wanted to stay with all of you but as always ofc i get left behind and hurt or forced to leave ) , i dont honestly feel " love " or " loved " anymore no matter how much anyone shows effection or love ( not in a weird or romantic way ) to me , now i feel the constant urge to just run away from anyone who i used to like or love because now im pretty much afraid of everyone :) .


sorry for this random stupid vent and im sorry for talking about my feelings again ik im annoying to deal with my children / blossoms :) .


- 𝖞𝖎𝖘𝖚𝖐𝖎 .

7 months ago (edited) | [YT] | 13

《🌷𝖞𝖎𝖘𝖚𝖐𝖎🌷》

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im sorry.its all my fault.i hate myself.please im tired.it hurts.i tried.im sorry for being stupid.please leave me alone.im sorry.its all my fault.i hate myself.please im tired.it hurts.i tried.im sorry for being stupid.please leave me alone.im sorry.its all my fault.i hate myself.please im tired.it hurts.i tried.im sorry for being stupid.please leave me alone.im sorry.its all my fault.i hate myself.please im tired.it hurts.i tried.im sorry for being stupid.please leave me alone.im sorry.its all my fault.i hate myself.please im tired.it hurts.i tried.im sorry for being stupid.please leave me alone.im sorry.its all my fault.i hate myself.please im tired.it hurts.i tried.im sorry for being stupid.please leave me alone.im sorry.its all my fault.i hate myself.please im tired.it hurts.i tried.im sorry for being stupid.please leave me alone.im sorry.its all my fault.i hate myself.please im tired.it hurts.i tried.im sorry for being stupid.please leave me alone.im sorry.its all my fault.i hate myself.please im tired.it hurts.i tried.im sorry for being stupid.please leave me alone.im sorry.its all my fault.i hate myself.please im tired.it hurts.i tried.im sorry for being stupid.please leave me alone.im sorry.its all my fault.i hate myself.please im tired.it hurts.i tried.im sorry for being stupid.please leave me alone.im sorry.its all my fault.i hate myself.please im tired.it hurts.i tried.im sorry for being stupid.please leave me alone.im sorry.its all my fault.i hate myself.please im tired.it hurts.i tried.im sorry for being stupid.please leave me alone.im sorry.its all my fault.i hate myself.please im tired.it hurts.i tried.im sorry for being stupid.please leave me alone.im sorry.its all my fault.i hate myself.please im tired.it hurts.i tried.im sorry for being stupid.please leave me alone.im sorry.its all my fault.i hate myself.please im tired.it hurts.i tried.im sorry for being stupid.please leave me alone.im sorry.its all my fault.i hate myself.please im tired.it hurts.i tried.im sorry for being stupid.please leave me alone.im sorry.its all my fault.i hate myself.please im tired.it hurts.i tried.im sorry for being stupid.please leave me alone.im sorry.its all my fault.i hate myself.please im tired.it hurts.i tried.im sorry for being stupid.please leave me alone.im sorry.its all my fault.i hate myself.please im tired.it hurts.i tried.im sorry for being stupid.please leave me alone.im sorry.its all my fault.i hate myself.please im tired.it hurts.i tried.im sorry for being stupid.please leave me alone. :).


im tired of trying im sorry im so useless hahahahah-. :).


- yisuki .

8 months ago (edited) | [YT] | 13

《🌷𝖞𝖎𝖘𝖚𝖐𝖎🌷》

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hello my children/blossoms ! :)


i just wanted to say thank you sm to my best friend ‪@Tsukiichu‬​​​ for remembering my b-day im very happy that someone close to me remembered , when i saw that she remembered i got really happy and i cried , tysm veenie ilysm ♡ i also wish i can see you again soon i miss you and the others alot tysm from the bottom of my heart veenie :)♡🌷

and ig im doing abit better now but im still not going to start my "clean" yet bc i still feel horrible and sad but it really made me happy to see one of my friends atleast remembered me i felt even more lonely before and forgotten if i have to be honest but when some people remembered me i felt happy mostly veenie , and tysm to you all aswell for your comments before i was able to resist to not kms but my mental and "looking" health still isnt good but not worst , but tysm :)♡

‪@Tsukiichu‬​​​ tysm bestie ilysm take care ! ><♡..


- yisuki .

9 months ago (edited) | [YT] | 17

《🌷𝖞𝖎𝖘𝖚𝖐𝖎🌷》

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!TW:mentions of s----de¡.

Hello my children/blossoms :).

I just wanted to say goodbye just in case if i do fully lose this account and if i do kms :).

I just wanted to say thank you all for the amazing time and support you all have gave me but i wanted to say im sorry for never being good enough like others and im sorry i left like this i wish i could go back to posting and being a gachatuber but for now i cant and i might come back after years if i do live and not do anything to myself :).

Please dont go in the comments saying "yisuki please dont kys there are still people who love you , your friends and family still love you !! " i have no one left and im tired of all of this constant pain and @buse i dont have anyone left irl or online so how can anyone love me? I cant even talk with my online friends so how can they still "love" me when its been 3 months since we talked? I dont have "family" either and dont say "i love you tho !" Im litterally a stranger online that you barly know or dont even know anything about so how can you love me-? :).

I have been in this pain and suffering since i lost my channel whats the point in living anymore-? Idc im tired and no one can change my mind bc guess what ! I dont believe anyone anymore or trust anyone anymore !! :).

Idk tbh im still going to think more but just in case if i do take the choice of not wanting to live anymore thank you all for the 1 year we had :).

And ty for my friends who stayed with me :).

I have another account rn that my other active account but it has no content but idk if i should reveal it since im not sure if it will be my other account for my future yt account but if veen wants she can say my other accounts user but my other accounts name and user is weird ik but idk honestly :).

Thank you for reading this my child/blossom :)♡.

-yisuki.

11 months ago (edited) | [YT] | 20

《🌷𝖞𝖎𝖘𝖚𝖐𝖎🌷》

Im sorry my children/blossoms but i wont post today or for some time please take care of yourselfs^^♡

1 year ago | [YT] | 44

《🌷𝖞𝖎𝖘𝖚𝖐𝖎🌷》

💗🎀🌷+💜🌙🌌 :33

1 year ago | [YT] | 41

《🌷𝖞𝖎𝖘𝖚𝖐𝖎🌷》

💗🌷i didnt know what to post so i made yisuki a baby soo-- here! :3🌷💗

🌷💗(sorry repost bc im (very) stupid and forgot to add my watermark im so sorry my children/blossoms-TvT..)💗🌷

1 year ago | [YT] | 32

《🌷𝖞𝖎𝖘𝖚𝖐𝖎🌷》

♥︎Kai 99% of the time when veen is around yisuki:♥︎

(Ft my pookie:‪@Tsukiichu‬ ! >♡<)

1 year ago | [YT] | 36