This is a total failure... TRAP DIDN'T EVEN WANT TO MEET ME

Putin, help... WE ARE AFRAID TO GO OUTSIDE DURING THE DAY BECAUSE OF THE MIGRANTS

Kirill, fly to America and beg Trump to give me another chance.

In Russia, everything goes according to plan only for the person who carries your full suitcases.

What were you threatening with today? EXPIRED MISSILES

You know, Vladimir, I've changed my mind... YOU DON'T DESERVE A SECOND CHANCE

Vladimirovich, the budget is doomed... 6 Russian regions are already bankrupt.

Go ahead, Volodya, fight on your own... AND I AM STARTING SEPARATE PEACE NEGOTIATIONS

How will I get to Budapest?! MY PLANE WILL BE SHOT DOWN OVER EUROPE

Si, if your Putin doesn't calm down, YOU WILL BE THE ONE PAYING FOR THE WAR

Let's get to the main point, Vladimir... WHERE IS ASSAD AND HOW MUCH WILL YOU PAY?

Hello... This is the President of Madagascar... IS THERE A PLACE FOR ME IN ROSTOV?!

I wasn't even invited to Israel... THEY DIDN'T EVEN ASK MY OPINION

The tests of the new product were successful. There is no more rocket or testing ground.

You're not apologizing sincerely... COME ON, LOUDER AND DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN

Everything is going according to plan... THE PLAN FOR THE MADYAR REFINERY IS EVEN AHEAD OF TIME

Happy Birthday... I HAVE MADE THE DECISION TO TRANSFER TOMAHAWKS TO THE AFU

What tomahawks, Donald... BELGOROD IS OUT OF POWER FOR THE SECOND TIME IN A WEEK

Here he is, our hero, the future elite... He DRUNKLY PISSED ALL OVER THE PARQUET

A weak and cunning ruler reigned over us then... PUSHKIN KNEW EVERYTHING IN ADVANCE

I would have attacked NATO countries a long time ago... THERE'S SIMPLY NOTHING TO ATTACK WITH

Could the respected gentleman deign to sell us some gasoline?!

Vladimirovich, everything is going according to plan... WE ARE PREPARING TO BUY GASOLINE ABROAD

There is no electricity, gas or hot water in Belgorod... EVERYTHING IS AS WE PLANNED

They wanted to take over Ukraine in 3 days... YESTERDAY WE WERE THINKING ALL DAY ABOUT HOW TO SUR...

Putin hasn't seized anything, he's just wasting people and money. TRUMP HAS GAVE UP THE BASE.

The only one who can guarantee anything about gasoline is Madyar. GUARANTEE ITS ABSENCE

It burns beautifully... NOVOROSSIYSK WAS A GOOD SEA PORT

Dear students, there is no gas, so we will have to walk to school from now on.

The next military aircraft flying into Europe will be shot down... NATO has presented it as a fact

Vladimirovich, everything is going exactly according to plan. HERE ARE THE SOLDIERS DOING GYMNASTICS

This is a gangster shootout at an abandoned factory, just like in the 90s...

Guys, get some air... I leaked the coordinates of the best UAV center "RUBICON"

Is today some kind of holiday?! September 17th is International Gnome Day.

As soon as I said that I support the war, such sh*t poured out on me. BASKOV GOT WHAT HE DESERVED

I so wanted to spend my old age there comfortably... AND INSTEAD THERE WILL BE A TRIBUNAL

There is never enough money... BUT THERE IS ALWAYS ENOUGH FOR WAR, THE PALACE AND ALINA KABAYEVA

Don't be offended, Vagit, but Lukoil is NOW ALSO "MADYAR" CONTROLLED

So that you understand how hard it is to live in Belgorod... THIS IS HOW I LOOKED BEFORE MY

What was that in Poland?! YOU DECIDED TO TRY TO CHALLENGE NATO?!

Vladimirovich, everything is according to plan... TODAY DRONES ARRIVED IN YOUR RESIDENCE "BOCHARO...

Joseph, Kobzon, give us ONE MORE TICKET for your concert

Where did the gasoline go, Putin... EXPLAIN WHAT'S GOING ON?!

Money is not the most important thing... THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IS THAT THE PEOPLE DO NOT WAKE UP

How much longer will we have to tolerate this...GASOLINE FOR 100 RUBLES WILL BE SOON

Putin, where is the gasoline... I'm asking... WHO SHOULD I TURN TO, A MADYARN?!

How am I doing?! Still alive... ALTHOUGH HISTORY DOESN'T LIKE LOSERS

Sorry... orchestra, dancing, flowers... YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO HAVE ALL THIS

Hi, my name is Madyar... NOW I MANAGE ALL YOUR REFINERY

Why should I buy more oil and gas... YOU WILL GIVE THEM TO ME FOR A PRICE ANYWAY

Burning like a sparkler... SOON THERE WILL BE NO REFINERY AT ALL

Vladimirovich, we have calculated everything... THE WAR COSTS 47 BILLION RUBLES A DAY

Where is the gasoline, Vladimir, where is the gasoline?! WE SHOULD GO ON HORSES

Son, summer is ending and you are without a medal... COME HERE QUICKLY

And who started it then?! PARKINSON OR ALZHEIMER'S

Your Honor, 3 million rubles per wound... I COULDN'T RESIST SUCH A TEMPTATION

What will happen next?! WILL WE RIDE HORSES NEXT YEAR?!

Putin, tomorrow morning we are going to Rostov, AND THEN IMMEDIATELY TO MOSCOW

Putin, why is gas only available with coupons in Crimea... WE DIDN'T VOTE FOR THIS

Today everyone is only talking about us... A BUMP, A FAILURE, A DEAD END AND A POOP