MenNeedToBeHeard

Divorce Court Reality For Men

Divorce isn’t just the end of a marriage for men… it’s often the end of everything.

Because let’s be real… the family court system isn’t “fair” or “balanced.” It’s a machine. A machine that chews men up, spits them out, and then hands them the bill to collect what little is left of them.

Men walk into divorce/family court thinking things will be fair, that the judge will look at facts, maybe even treat them as equal parents. But what they get instead is a system that assumes mom is the “real” parent and dad is just the guy who gets visiting hours every other weekend… if that.

Doesn’t matter in the least if he changed diapers, coached soccer, or was there every single day.

In divorce court, fathers are treated as optional.

And the numbers prove it. Well over 80% of custody cases still award primary custody to mothers. Shared parenting? It’s still the exception, not the rule. So much for equality!

Now let’s talk money, because courts don’t care if a man worked two jobs for twenty years or if he’s drowning in debt himself. He’s paying, because in their minds that’s his job… his only job! Fathers aren’t parents, they’re walking wallets.

Something to be pilfered until there’s nothing left. Alimony, child support, legal fees… it adds up fast.

Child support alone averages around $500 a month per child, but plenty of men are hit with far more. It’s not based on children’s actual needs but instead on what the court decides their “lifestyle” should be. A lifestyle that is in fact, often higher than it would have been if the parents had stayed together.

And here’s the kicker… a man can lose his job, get sick, become disabled, or hit hard times, and the payments don’t stop. Rarely, if ever, are adjustments made.

And if you miss a few? Congratulations, now you’re a criminal. Jail, fines, suspended license. Because somehow that’s going to make it easier for him to pay.

It’s not a justice system… it’s a racket. A racket even the mafia looks on in amazement at.

And women know it. Lawyers know it. Society knows it and has for years.

And men know it too… which is why more and more men are waking up and walking away before they ever get into the mess.

They see it for what it is: A casino where the house always wins. And in this case, “the house” is the mother, the court system, and the state — all of which get their cut of the father’s finances, leaving him broke, destitute, and often out on the street.

So let’s stop pretending divorce and family court is “equal.” It’s not. It’s punishment.

Hell, they even admitted as much back in the 1990s, when much of the current system was put in place to “hold those deadbeat dads who keep walking out on their families accountable.”

Except here’s the truth… it wasn’t dads walking out even then…It was moms!

The moms who have been, and continue to be,  richly rewarded for doing so, while men are the ones getting punished.

To paraphrase one of my favorite movies: Men, the only way to win… is to not play the game.

👉 Question for discussion: Men, if you’ve been through divorce or family court, what was the most eye-opening part of the experience?

And if you haven’t… what do you think would be the hardest part to face?

#men #menneedtobeheard #fathers #fathersrights #mensrights #fathersareparentstoo #divorce #marriage

4 hours ago | [YT] | 236

MenNeedToBeHeard

Double Standards in Abuse:

If a man hits a woman, he’s a monster. Society will crucify him, his name will be dragged through the mud, and his life is basically over. And they aren’t wrong that’s what should happen. Nobody is saying men who hit women shouldn’t be held accountable.


But flip it around… if a woman hits a man do we say she should be held accountable? Do we call her a monster?


No when it’s the woman committing the abuse then suddenly it’s “funny.” It’s “empowering.” It’s a TikTok trend.


It’s women throwing punches in public while the crowd laughs, or girls smacking their boyfriends on camera for clout and the comments cheer her on.


That’s not equality. That’s hypocrisy. Complete and utter hypocrisy.


Here’s the part nobody wants to admit: studies show men experience intimate partner violence as often as women. In fact recent studies are showing that in non-reciprocal IPV it’s women who are the offender 70% of the time…. 70%


And those numbers don’t even tell the full story because while women who report their abuse get sympathy and help. Men get attacked.


Just try being a man and reporting it. Best case, you’ll get laughed at. Worst case, you’ll get arrested, charged and go to prison. Because society decided a long time ago that men can’t be victims only villains.


So men stay quiet… have to stay quiet.


They hide the bruises. They bury the humiliation. They live with the pain and the shame because they know the second they speak up, the world will come them.


It will blame them, mock them, ridicule them and dismiss them.


The fallout is brutal. Men are trapped in abusive relationships with no way out, no support system, and no one taking them seriously and it’s been that way for decades now.


The damage is real physically, emotionally, and mentally. But because it doesn’t fit the narrative, nobody wants to see it and no one most certainly wants to address it.


Now imagine if the roles were reversed.


Imagine, if men were smacking women around on TikTok for laughs, people would lose their minds. There’d be protests in the streets, endless hashtags, government inquiries, and new laws overnight.


But when it’s men? Crickets.


So let’s call it what it is: a double standard that kills.


👉 Question for discussion: Why do you think society laughs at abused men instead of helping them? And how do we change that?

1 day ago | [YT] | 766

MenNeedToBeHeard

Male Homelessness

Seventy percent. That’s how much of the homeless population is male. Let that sink in.

·  Veterans who served their country and came home broken.

·  Divorced dads stripped of their families and their homes.

·  Men who worked themselves into the ground in dangerous jobs until their bodies gave out.

·  Men who lost their jobs and had no safety net because nobody ever built one for them.

And yet when homelessness comes up in conversation, it’s always framed as a “genderless” issue. Just this vague, faceless “human problem.”

But the reality is crystal clear… it’s overwhelmingly male.

Here’s the ugly truth: men are disposable until they become invisible. And once they hit the streets, society doesn’t even blink.

If women made up 70% of the homeless population, it would be plastered across the headlines. There’d be emergency funding, non-stop campaigns, and entire task forces built overnight to fix the crisis. You’d hear “national emergency” on repeat.

But because it’s men? Silence. Shrugs.

Maybe a passing mention during the holidays when the news wants a sob story. And then right back to ignoring them.

Society loves to tell boys to grow up, work hard, and provide. But when those same providers collapse under the weight of that pressure, we step over them on the sidewalk. That’s how deep the hypocrisy runs.

And the worst part? We don’t just ignore homeless men… we blame them.

We call them lazy, addicts, losers. Anything to avoid admitting the truth: That our systems were never built to catch men when they fall. If anything they’re designed to push them down and keep them down.

Homelessness isn’t just about losing a roof. It’s about losing dignity, identity, and hope. And when it’s men, the world barely notices.

So here’s the question nobody wants to answer: why is it acceptable for men to make up the overwhelming majority of the homeless population…

and yet nobody calls that a crisis?

👉 Question for discussion: What do you think we should actually do to stop ignoring these men? What can we do?

Let me know in the comments!

#men #menneedtobeheard #menmatter #mensissues #mensupportingmen

2 days ago | [YT] | 931

MenNeedToBeHeard

Why Men Are Walking Away

Let’s clear something up right now: Men aren’t walking away from marriage because they’re scared of commitment.

That’s the lazy narrative people, and by people I mean women, throw around because it’s easier than facing the truth.

The real reason? Men are walking away because the risk-reward ratio is insane.

Think about it. What’s the “reward” for men in modern marriage? Constant criticism, endless expectations, and a never-ending list of things you’re supposedly doing wrong.

Add in the cultural script that says if she’s unhappy, you’ve failed as a man and you’ve already got a stacked deck.

Now let’s talk about the risks. Divorce isn’t a “what if” anymore, at best it’s a coin flip.

And when it happens, it’s not a clean break. Men don’t just lose their peace, they lose their house, their money, their retirement, and in far too many cases their kids.

So men did the math. They gave everything, their time, their money, their effort and one day she announces she’s bored or that you’re “not doing enough,” and then they take it all away.

That’s not partnership. That’s a casino where the house always wins and men are the house’s favorite mark.

Women are cheered when they divorce. But men? When men decide to walk away, they get labeled “immature,” “commitment-phobic,” or “afraid of strong women.”

Nope. It’s not fear. It’s logic. It’s self-preservation. It’s men looking at the odds and realizing they’d be idiots to sit down at the table.

Here’s what society really hates… when men stop playing, the whole system gets exposed.

Because once you strip away the fairy tales and Hallmark commercials, you see marriage for what it’s become, a lopsided deal where men are expected to risk it all for “love” while women are handed an escape hatch with benefits.

And you can see the fallout everywhere:

·  Marriage rates are tanking

·  Birth rates are dropping

·  Men are opting out of dating, relationships, even casual encounters

And they’re doing so, not out of fear, not out of hate, but out of a calm, well-thought-out, rational decision that says: this isn’t worth it anymore.

So here’s the truth no one wants to admit… men aren’t running away from commitment, they’re running away from being robbed blind.

And they aren’t coming back anytime soon.

👉 Question for discussion: Men, when was the moment you realized the game was rigged?

When did you finally figure out marriage wasn’t a reward… but a risk?

Let’s talk about it.

3 days ago | [YT] | 1,782

MenNeedToBeHeard

The Myth Of The Deadbeat Dad

Say the word fatherhood and watch how fast somebody jumps in with, “Yeah, but what about the deadbeat dads?”
It’s like a knee-jerk reflex at this point… the second men try to talk about fathers’ rights or issues, that stereotype gets thrown like a grenade to shut down the conversation.


Here’s the truth that never makes the headlines: the overwhelming majority of fathers DON’T abandon their kids. The fact is they’re not disappearing, they’re being pushed out.


• Courts strip men of custody.
• Gatekeeping mothers block visits.
• Politicians crow about “holding fathers accountable” (while never once saying a peep about holding mothers accountable).
• Systems reduce fathers to paychecks and visitation schedules.


Being sidelined like that doesn’t make you a “deadbeat.” It makes you a victim of a system that decided from day one you weren’t equal.


But the “deadbeat dad” narrative? Oh, that’s useful.
• It keeps dads guilty by default.
• It justifies the bias in court.
• It keeps the child support money flowing.


And it makes sure society doesn’t have to look at the real problem: a family law system that doesn’t give a damn about fatherhood… only funding.


Think about it, if most dads were really abandoning their kids, don’t you think there’d be outrage? Federal investigations? Endless public campaigns to “fix the father crisis”?


Oh sure sometimes they claim they’re doing those things but if you look they don’t provide funding to actually do them. It’s all smoke and mirrors


Why? But there aren’t a whole bunch of deadbeat dads. It’s just a straw-man argument because it’s easier to label men villains than to admit the truth: that most so-called “deadbeats” are dads pounding on locked doors, begging for time with their kids, while being told to shut up and pay up.


Sure, a small percentage of men do walk away… nobody’s denying that. But they’re not the majority. In fact, they make up less than about 5% of all fathers. But we don’t want to talk about that. We don’t want to admit that.


The stereotype was built to smear all fathers. So no matter what you do, you’re guilty. If you fight for your kids, you’re “angry” or “unstable.” If you lose in court, you’re a “deadbeat.” Heads they win, tails you lose.


And here’s the fallout: kids lose their dads, dads lose their kids, and society shrugs because the myth makes it easy to blame the man.


It’s not about protecting children. It’s about controlling fathers… and controlling men.


👉 So let me ask you… men, have you ever been branded a “deadbeat dad” when all you wanted was to love and raise your kids?


Drop it in the comments.

4 days ago | [YT] | 794

MenNeedToBeHeard

Men Neglecting Their Health

As much as it pains me to admit this, women are right about one thing. If it wasn’t for them nagging us, a lot of men wouldn’t go to the doctor.

I know when I was younger, I was guilty of that too but now I’m the complete opposite.

We all know men die younger than women almost everywhere. And yeah, there are a lot of reasons for that, like how way more emphasis is put on women’s health than men’s.

But let’s be real, we’re not exempt from responsibility either. And no, it’s not just “biology.”

We’ve been told our whole lives to suck it up, push through, and never complain.

But here’s the thing… we don’t have to listen to that garbage.

We can take control of our health. We should take control of our health.

And if “they” don’t like it? Too f’ing bad.

The sad truth is too many of us neglect it completely.

We avoid doctors. We downplay symptoms. And then when we finally go in, all too often we’re not taken seriously.

Look I get it…That little voice in your head says, “Don’t be weak, don’t waste time, it’ll go away.”

And it does so because that’s what’s been drilled into us to think…Except sometimes it doesn’t. Sometimes it kills us.

We call it “toughness.” But reality check… it’s not strength, it’s suicide on a delay.

Pain isn’t a badge of honor. It’s a red warning light flashing in your face. Ignore it long enough, and you don’t get a second chance.

Men, you only get one shot at life. And while longevity matters, quality matters even more.

And you can’t have a good quality of life if you’re neglecting your health.

So go. Get the physical. Get the prostate exam. Get the colonoscopy. Get whatever tests you need and then actually listen to the results. Don’t ignore them. Do something about them.

Because doing so is not weakness. It’s strength.

A strength far too many men never take advantage of.

Bottom line… silence and stoicism don’t make you strong. They make you a statistic.

So make the right choice. Make you the priority and to hell with anyone who’s got a problem with it.

Topic for discussion: What’s one health issue you ignored too long before finally dealing with it?

5 days ago | [YT] | 796

MenNeedToBeHeard

If you want to see just how badly boys are doing in society, look no further than the classroom.

Because the truth is boys aren’t thriving in school. They’re barely surviving.

Look at the numbers:

·      Lower grades and test scores
·      Higher dropout rates,
·      More ADHD diagnoses,
·      Fewer college acceptances.

And while boys are falling behind across the board, schools are bending over backwards to “empower” girls.

The narrative is always the same: girls are the future, boys are the problem.

But let’s be real. Boys aren’t broken. The system is.

Active boys? “Hyper.”
Competitive boys? “Toxic.”
Curious boys? “Distracted.”
Creative boys? “Unfocused.”

By the time they’re teenagers, most boys already feel like failures. Not because they are failures, but because they’ve been told over and over again that they don’t measure up or that they’re toxic.

Teachers, and administrators don’t nurture them, don’t try to help them no instead they label them.

And here’s the kicker: if the same educational outcomes were happening to girls, it would be treated as a national crisis.

There would be new programs, government funding, think tanks, and a hundred hashtags overnight.

But because it’s boys, society shrugs and says, “Well, they’ll catch up eventually.”

Except they haven’t in the 40 years this has been going on and won’t be anytime soon. And we all know it.

Education is supposed to prepare kids for life. Instead, it’s turning boys into statistics.

When you hobble half the population in school, when you view them as a problem, when you tell them over and over again it’s their fault you can’t be then surprised when they stumble through adulthood too.

So let’s stop pretending this is a “neutral” issue. It’s not. It’s gendered and it’s deliberate.

Boys are losing and it’s not an accident, not in the least

Tell me: Did school support you as a boy. How about your sons?

Or did it treat you/they like a problem that needed to be managed?

Let me know in the comments!

6 days ago | [YT] | 1,561

MenNeedToBeHeard

Today I want to talk about what I consider to be the biggest issue men face in today’s society, mostly because it effects all the other issues directly. And that issue is how men, boys and fathers are portrayed in the media.

For the last 50 years, men haven’t been leaders or role models on TV, we’ve been the punchline. Think about it. Homer Simpson. Peter Griffin. Al Bundy. Ray Romano. The dad in every cereal commercial, who can’t pour milk without spilling half the carton on the table.

The father in every sitcom, who’s portrayed as a lazy, clueless buffoon who’d probably starve if his wife didn’t “save him” from himself. And people laugh because that’s the point right?

Men aren’t something to be admired, they’re something to be mocked, ridiculed and made fun of all under the guise of comedy. Ya know it’s just “harmless fun.”

But here’s the thing: it’s not harmless. It’s conditioning.

When you mock men and boys long enough, people stop respecting them. Boys grow up seeing “dad” as a joke, and they internalize it. Girls grow up seeing men portrayed as incompetent, and they expect it.

You can’t saturate culture with “men are idiots” for half a century and then act surprised when nobody takes men seriously.

The truth is Hollywood and the media in general has been running a decades-long smear campaign dressed up as comedy. And it’s worked.

Think about it: when was the last time you saw a positive portrayal of a husband or father on TV? One who was competent, respected, and not the butt of the joke?

You probably can’t name more than one or two.

Instead, the formula is always the same in every movie, every TV series, hell even in every commercial

·      It’s smart wife, dumb husband.

·      Independent daughter, loser son.

·      Mom saves the day, dad ruins it.

Every. Single. Time.

Now, imagine flipping that script.

Imagine if every mom on TV for 50 years was portrayed as a nagging airhead who couldn’t hold a job, couldn’t manage her kids, and had to be rescued by a man in every episode.

Would that be “harmless fun” too?

Or would it be called exactly what it is…sexist?

That’s the double standard men face all day, every day literally from the day they’re born till the day they die

The ones that says when it’s women, it’s “empowerment.”

When it’s men, it’s “comedy.”

But here’s the truth: comedy isn’t just comedy when it’s used to shape perception.

Media has power. It tells us what’s normal, what’s respected, and what’s disposable.

And for decades, men have been the disposable joke.

So here’s the real question: How many more generations of boys do we lose before we admit this isn’t funny anymore?

How much longer are we going to sit back in silence as men and boys unalive themselves because they’ve been marginalized, been told they aren’t worthy of any kindness, caring or consideration?

It’s gone on for far too long and it’s time we called it out for what it is

So let me ask you: Which show, ad, or movie made you roll your eyes the hardest at how men were portrayed and how did/does it make you feel?

Let me know in the comments!

1 week ago | [YT] | 2,060

MenNeedToBeHeard

Men & Aging:

As someone who just turned 62, let me tell you straight: getting old SUCKS.

The hardest part for me? My mind still thinks I can do the things I did at 22…hell, even 42.

But reality well my friends...reality says something different. Usually in the form of sore knees, slower recovery, or the reminder that time doesn’t care how young you feel inside.

And here’s the kicker aging hits men differently than women, and it’s almost always framed negatively. Women get “wine nights,” “self-care Sundays,” and “50 & Fabulous.” We men on the other hand hit 40 and it’s dad-bod jokes, hairline memes, and the tired “midlife crisis” cliché.

Meanwhile, we’re carrying decades of grind, responsibility, and the pressure of knowing we don’t get to screw up, not even once, without paying for it forever.

But here’s the thing: while we may not be as physically capable as we were, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally? This can be our time to shine. If we choose to.

Getting older can actually be the best upgrade a man gets:

·         Fewer illusions.

·         Clearer standards.

·         A tighter circle.

·         Better priorities.

You stop auditioning for people who don’t care and don’t matter and start investing in the ones who do. You finally learn to prioritize the one person who’s been neglected for decades…YOU!

But we also need to understand that society doesn’t celebrate that. Instead, it pathologizes it:

·         Buy a bike? “Crisis.”

·         Start lifting again? “Crisis.”

·         Change careers? “Crisis.”

Well here’s a thought, maybe it’s not a crisis at all. Maybe it’s a man finally steering his own life. If we treated male aging as mastery instead of malfunction, you’d see fewer men checking out and more stepping up.

Less shaming. More respect. Less “grow up, manchild.” More “good, now go build something.”

For far too long, men have been told to provide while nobody provides for them. That has to change. And it starts with men prioritizing themselves.

👉 So tell me: What’s been the hardest part of aging for you as a man?

And what’s the best upgrade you wouldn’t trade for your 20s?

Let me know in the comments!

1 week ago | [YT] | 503

MenNeedToBeHeard

Women are often baffled by how men lean on humor, especially dark humor, when life gets rough.

What they don’t get is that for us, humor is armor.

When life kicks us in the nads, we don’t cry in public.

We don’t write long “woe is me” Facebook posts.

We don’t sit in our cars bawling for TikTok likes.

And we definitely don’t get a round of sympathy cocktails with the boys.

What do we do? We crack jokes.
Jokes about being broke. About stress. About women. About work.

It’s not “emotional immaturity.” It’s survival, and it's naturally ingrained in us.

Humor is often the only pressure valve men are allowed, and even that door is closing.

Here’s the hypocrisy: society takes men’s humor, builds billion-dollar industries on male comedians, and then calls us “toxic” for jokes that aren’t wrapped in bubble wrap.

We’re told we’re “not taking things seriously,” because apparently the only way to “process emotions” now is a meltdown in your car or crying while putting on makeup.

The double standard is clear: men are supposed to laugh at ourselves, but the second our humor makes someone else uncomfortable, it’s “problematic.”

👉 So let’s talk: What’s the funniest coping joke you’ve ever made that only another man would understand?

Or what was the darkest moment you survived by turning it into a joke?

#men ##menneedtobeheard #mensupportingmen #MenMatter #menvswomen

1 week ago | [YT] | 830