Seems I only exist on a foundation of something I don't know everyday I try to survive this never-ending torturous hell hole with a smile on my face but if you could only feel what I feel on the inside you wouldn't look at me the same you rarely see anyone in my videos you're noticed that? Because nobody likes me I don't know why maybe it's my trauma my abuse my anxiety depression PTSD psychosis bipolar no it's probably my BPD these disorders I have along with p NES seizures I don't know what I'm doing I feel I'm being carried not really existing I often watch these videos I make and this sad as they are it makes me feel bad cuz I'm alone I don't get it I'm not a monster I'm just different and on top all them disorders when I was 17 I lost the majority of my vision so now I'm legally blind because of Seroquel a medicine that's treated for mental illness how ironic I'm about to be 18 years old and I'm going to blind I'm 31 now I've had cataract surgery on both eyes and it made it worse
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