bruh imm so pisseddd RNN. ᕙ( ᗒᗣᗕ )ᕗI originally listened to a sub for anxiety bcuz of this, but that anxiety ended up turning into anger... (results lol?) so Im super mad abt this rn
so basically, I dropped out of the school musical this year by sending an email to my theatre teacher. Long story short, she's pretty much IMPOSSIBLE.
From what I remember last year, she scheduled the rehearsals for like 5 hrs, would leave like 20 minutes in to pick up her kids, would leave either another adult or a STUDENT to look after us, would get our costumes DURING tech week, then would get upset when we weren't perfect, and take all the credit when we DID do good. it makes me so upset bcuz I love theatre, but she makes me hate it. my mother was against it immediately, but my dumbass thought "oh this is how highschool is supposed to be cuz im a silly little freshman :p" newsflash: IT IS NOT.
I wish I hadn't even auditioned at all. however, even tho I know it's for the best, the decision is still weighing on my mind. I loved the musical we were doing so much and was so excited to perform, but she's so... AWFUL!! like I'm not gonna go into detail cuz it's people's personal lives, but some of the things I've heard and see her do to her other students are actually crazy. I still find it insane that ppl who don't like her have seen her behavior and continue to participate, with my only assumption being they're like me: their love for performing is so strong that they're able to ignore all of those awful things that she does. I just can't, and I'm not the first one to leave bcuz of her either. the only positive Im thinking of this is that I'll have more time to do schoolwork and maybe find other things to participate in. I went from thinking of theatre as smth fun that I genuinely enjoyed, to smth that would look good on a college application since I have no other extracurriculars (literally my thought process during the summer). that should NEVER happen when u actually love. it makes me so upset bcuz ik if we had a different REASONABLE teacher, things would be differenttt. ˶o̴̶̷᷄‸o̴̶̷̥᷅˶
so i feel like what just happened counts as frontal lobe development, but idk. sometimes i have these mini revelations and i go back to how i was before. but i genuinely think (and hope) that this is an actual change.
basically, I made a comment under a post saying "confess to ur crush", replying with nuh uh. my friend saw it and of course started making fun of me (in a friendly way ofc). however, it soon turned into a talk abt exactly HOW many crushes i have. to put it simply: a lot. there's like three my friends know about, but there's lwk a lot more with a mix of boys and girls cuz I'm pan lol.
i think the realization started when i made a joke. I said "well at least if one of them doesn't like me back, I have backups." that's all it was meant to be: a joke. but even as I sat there, i genuinely thought "is that really a good way to think abt relationships??"
how am i supposed to be loyal in an actual relationship if i can't do it when im single?? maybe its bcuz im used to "being in love with" fictional characters and stuff like that. I don't face repercussions with that, so why wouldn't it be like that irl?? i think i also had the thought process that "oh, but once i start dating one of them, i'll completely lose feelings for the other." but that's not how emotions/feelings work. besides, i shouldn't be dating someone if i have feelings for someone OTHER than them.
I also think I have the toxic mindset of "I just want proof that im dateable/attractive." it's ironic that i hate people who think that way, but im pretty much no better. the two times a boy has found out i liked them: they've been involuntary confessions, where my friends are the ones are the ones who told them. both of them ended up in rejections. I understand why: in both situations, we barely knew each other. but since then, i guess my brain is just waiting for some sort of confession or acceptance of love from someone. that's why, after having this "reflection" moment, i noticed my feelings for those people literally fading away by the second. bcuz I just went for people who i considered to get that sweet sweet validation from.
I think the biggest sign of this was with the second time. when i had been rejected, my friend told me that she had talked it out with my crush, and he said that he would think about dating me. she talked abt how cute we would be together, and i WANTED to feel over the moon. Yet, I felt horror. at first, i thought it was just the shock, but even when I got home, i realized that i was horrified at the thought of dating my "crush". I texted my friend, telling her i didn't wanna pressure him, and while i genuinely felt that way, it was mainly bcuz deep down, i knew realistically our relationship would crumble within days.
despite my mother's flawed opinions, she got one thing right: i really don't need to put so much energy into this! ofc, if i like someone, i like someone, but im not just gonna go for who i think is "good-looking enough" or "easier to have". I wanna actually get to know them now, and fall in like with them in the proper way. not just in some desperate "this is the only way i can get love and attention way". ofc my mindset hasn't completely changed overnight, but i feel like its definitely started to. I hope i can change for the better.
I told myself I would watch all future "drama" from the sidelines, but I can NOT with this one. first of all, stop bullying submakers for their fucking appearance. "u would think submakers would at least look like their work". public subliminals are not only for them, but for several people. for example, I post a lot of subliminals where some of the benefits is to get almond slanted eyes, but I listen to subs abt big doll eyes. they know they can change their features with a snap of their fingers, but if they still have those, that probably means they LIKE those features! I usually don't like attacking anyone's appearance, but I would REALLY like to see a face reveal from you before you start talking shit abt people :)
second, the racism has gotta go. "superior genetics sub" is fucking wild. the craziest part is that Dr. Angelita posted a sub with the same title, but included ALL races in the video. the community does focus on eurocentric features a lot, but this is just straight up pathetic and disgusting. imagine being so insecure and bored with your life that you go and make a whole sub abt how much u don't like black people. hell, the whole concept of racism is so fucking weird to me?? like imagine thinking a human is lesser than you because their skin isn't white. like gang what?? 🤨🤨 like we're all just trying to do what we do and survive in this world. why do you have to try and start a battle that didn't needed to start?
in conclusion: Bloodlust (I originally wasn't gonna name drop but I'm actually so pissed at them rn) , I hope that you will realize the error of your ways. I don't know how old you are, but I know you're probably too old to be acting like this. I literally have no idea what you could possibly gain from making fun of a submaker's appearance and making subs that promote racism and lwk eugenics.
me bcuz I wanna tell my bestie abt my sub channel but she laughed at me when I told her I listened to subliminals for the first time and said "audios can't change anything" 💔(now I'm scared of telling anyone else)
heyy lovelies!! so im gonna be closing requests for a little bit. now, if u made a request before I made this post, you are still going to get that request. it might take a little while tho, since I'm prepping for back to school. I'm struggling to prepare myself physically and mentally which is why I've been a little bit late answering comments recently. hope u guys understand!! 🫶
𝒽ime 𐙚
𝒽ime 𐙚
not gonna be posting any subbies this weekend/early next week cuz I'm sick ૮( ᵕ̩̩ - ᵕ̩̩ c)ა
1 week ago | [YT] | 55
View 11 replies
𝒽ime 𐙚
reading rose of versailles rn and I absolutely love it (*๓´╰╯`๓)o the art is so pretty and cute!!
2 weeks ago | [YT] | 54
View 4 replies
𝒽ime 𐙚
GUYS HELP MY FRIEND FOUND MY LOA TUMBLR WHAT SHOULD I DO
4 weeks ago | [YT] | 72
View 6 replies
𝒽ime 𐙚
bruh imm so pisseddd RNN. ᕙ( ᗒᗣᗕ )ᕗI originally listened to a sub for anxiety bcuz of this, but that anxiety ended up turning into anger... (results lol?) so Im super mad abt this rn
so basically, I dropped out of the school musical this year by sending an email to my theatre teacher. Long story short, she's pretty much IMPOSSIBLE.
From what I remember last year, she scheduled the rehearsals for like 5 hrs, would leave like 20 minutes in to pick up her kids, would leave either another adult or a STUDENT to look after us, would get our costumes DURING tech week, then would get upset when we weren't perfect, and take all the credit when we DID do good. it makes me so upset bcuz I love theatre, but she makes me hate it. my mother was against it immediately, but my dumbass thought "oh this is how highschool is supposed to be cuz im a silly little freshman :p" newsflash: IT IS NOT.
I wish I hadn't even auditioned at all. however, even tho I know it's for the best, the decision is still weighing on my mind. I loved the musical we were doing so much and was so excited to perform, but she's so... AWFUL!! like I'm not gonna go into detail cuz it's people's personal lives, but some of the things I've heard and see her do to her other students are actually crazy. I still find it insane that ppl who don't like her have seen her behavior and continue to participate, with my only assumption being they're like me: their love for performing is so strong that they're able to ignore all of those awful things that she does. I just can't, and I'm not the first one to leave bcuz of her either. the only positive Im thinking of this is that I'll have more time to do schoolwork and maybe find other things to participate in. I went from thinking of theatre as smth fun that I genuinely enjoyed, to smth that would look good on a college application since I have no other extracurriculars (literally my thought process during the summer). that should NEVER happen when u actually love. it makes me so upset bcuz ik if we had a different REASONABLE teacher, things would be differenttt. ˶o̴̶̷᷄‸o̴̶̷̥᷅˶
1 month ago | [YT] | 60
View 0 replies
𝒽ime 𐙚
(warning: dumb teenager stuff lmao)
so i feel like what just happened counts as frontal lobe development, but idk. sometimes i have these mini revelations and i go back to how i was before. but i genuinely think (and hope) that this is an actual change.
basically, I made a comment under a post saying "confess to ur crush", replying with nuh uh. my friend saw it and of course started making fun of me (in a friendly way ofc). however, it soon turned into a talk abt exactly HOW many crushes i have. to put it simply: a lot. there's like three my friends know about, but there's lwk a lot more with a mix of boys and girls cuz I'm pan lol.
i think the realization started when i made a joke. I said "well at least if one of them doesn't like me back, I have backups." that's all it was meant to be: a joke. but even as I sat there, i genuinely thought "is that really a good way to think abt relationships??"
how am i supposed to be loyal in an actual relationship if i can't do it when im single?? maybe its bcuz im used to "being in love with" fictional characters and stuff like that. I don't face repercussions with that, so why wouldn't it be like that irl?? i think i also had the thought process that "oh, but once i start dating one of them, i'll completely lose feelings for the other." but that's not how emotions/feelings work. besides, i shouldn't be dating someone if i have feelings for someone OTHER than them.
I also think I have the toxic mindset of "I just want proof that im dateable/attractive." it's ironic that i hate people who think that way, but im pretty much no better. the two times a boy has found out i liked them: they've been involuntary confessions, where my friends are the ones are the ones who told them. both of them ended up in rejections. I understand why: in both situations, we barely knew each other. but since then, i guess my brain is just waiting for some sort of confession or acceptance of love from someone. that's why, after having this "reflection" moment, i noticed my feelings for those people literally fading away by the second. bcuz I just went for people who i considered to get that sweet sweet validation from.
I think the biggest sign of this was with the second time. when i had been rejected, my friend told me that she had talked it out with my crush, and he said that he would think about dating me. she talked abt how cute we would be together, and i WANTED to feel over the moon. Yet, I felt horror. at first, i thought it was just the shock, but even when I got home, i realized that i was horrified at the thought of dating my "crush". I texted my friend, telling her i didn't wanna pressure him, and while i genuinely felt that way, it was mainly bcuz deep down, i knew realistically our relationship would crumble within days.
despite my mother's flawed opinions, she got one thing right: i really don't need to put so much energy into this! ofc, if i like someone, i like someone, but im not just gonna go for who i think is "good-looking enough" or "easier to have". I wanna actually get to know them now, and fall in like with them in the proper way. not just in some desperate "this is the only way i can get love and attention way". ofc my mindset hasn't completely changed overnight, but i feel like its definitely started to. I hope i can change for the better.
2 months ago | [YT] | 53
View 3 replies
𝒽ime 𐙚
me because I have to learn proper anatomy to draw better instead of just magically being good at art:
2 months ago | [YT] | 40
View 5 replies
𝒽ime 𐙚
I told myself I would watch all future "drama" from the sidelines, but I can NOT with this one. first of all, stop bullying submakers for their fucking appearance. "u would think submakers would at least look like their work". public subliminals are not only for them, but for several people. for example, I post a lot of subliminals where some of the benefits is to get almond slanted eyes, but I listen to subs abt big doll eyes. they know they can change their features with a snap of their fingers, but if they still have those, that probably means they LIKE those features! I usually don't like attacking anyone's appearance, but I would REALLY like to see a face reveal from you before you start talking shit abt people :)
second, the racism has gotta go. "superior genetics sub" is fucking wild. the craziest part is that Dr. Angelita posted a sub with the same title, but included ALL races in the video. the community does focus on eurocentric features a lot, but this is just straight up pathetic and disgusting. imagine being so insecure and bored with your life that you go and make a whole sub abt how much u don't like black people. hell, the whole concept of racism is so fucking weird to me?? like imagine thinking a human is lesser than you because their skin isn't white. like gang what?? 🤨🤨 like we're all just trying to do what we do and survive in this world. why do you have to try and start a battle that didn't needed to start?
in conclusion: Bloodlust (I originally wasn't gonna name drop but I'm actually so pissed at them rn) , I hope that you will realize the error of your ways. I don't know how old you are, but I know you're probably too old to be acting like this. I literally have no idea what you could possibly gain from making fun of a submaker's appearance and making subs that promote racism and lwk eugenics.
2 months ago | [YT] | 98
View 10 replies
𝒽ime 𐙚
NO BCUZ WDYM I START SCHOOL TMRW??? 💔💔💔🥀🥀
2 months ago | [YT] | 50
View 1 reply
𝒽ime 𐙚
me bcuz I wanna tell my bestie abt my sub channel but she laughed at me when I told her I listened to subliminals for the first time and said "audios can't change anything" 💔(now I'm scared of telling anyone else)
3 months ago | [YT] | 56
View 7 replies
𝒽ime 𐙚
heyy lovelies!! so im gonna be closing requests for a little bit. now, if u made a request before I made this post, you are still going to get that request. it might take a little while tho, since I'm prepping for back to school. I'm struggling to prepare myself physically and mentally which is why I've been a little bit late answering comments recently. hope u guys understand!! 🫶
3 months ago | [YT] | 27
View 1 reply
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