Ilona Ciunaite

An unusual thing about uncomfortable feelings: they are not against you.

The anxiety humming under a normal day, the guilt that shows up when you rest, the heaviness on a quiet Sunday - each one is a part of you that was hurt and never had the chance to heal. It keeps knocking because it's still waiting.

The knocking ceases the moment it's finally answered.

3 days ago | [YT] | 36

Ilona Ciunaite

Philip started exploring Deep Looking on his own, before we ever worked together.

Here is what he shared, in his own words:

"I had read about Deep Looking and started exploring it myself before working with Ilona. Over time it began spreading like a soft wildfire in my system, showing up daily and bringing spontaneous openings that sometimes brought me to tears. Doing the session with Ilona felt like being held through the process, intensifying it over a longer period. I couldn't always articulate what was happening, but I trusted her completely. Often it's only later that I notice what has shifted, like a seed planted that takes time to grow."

A soft wildfire. A seed that takes time to grow.

This is how the work moves - quietly, in its own timing, and often deeper than words can follow.

Thank you, Philip, for letting me share this. 🙏

5 days ago | [YT] | 21

Ilona Ciunaite

For years I replayed conversations in my head. What I should have said. What they meant by that. The blame, the judgements - it ran quietly in the background of everything. I struggled with my own mind. It felt that there was a war going on inside me.

These days, something else is here. When a situation stings, I get curious instead.

Where is this living in the body? What is actually happening, energetically, right now?
Hmm, here it is, a sensation that wants attention.

The situations didn't stop coming. The fighting with them stopped.

That shift didn't come from understanding more. It came from finally meeting what I'd been stepping around. And now there is freedom to feel.

1 week ago | [YT] | 46

Ilona Ciunaite

If the last post landed for you - if you recognized the seeking, the honeymoon, the return of the old patterns - here is a place to start.

I wrote a short free guide: Experience Your First Unwinding.

It walks you through meeting one contraction, gently, in the body. Simple questions, and staying. Kindness as an attitude, in practice.

No theory to study. Nothing to believe. Just a direct experience of what happens when something in you is finally met instead of managed.

Many people feel something shift the very first time.

It's free, and you can get it here: zcmp.eu/BAl8

1 week ago | [YT] | 17

Ilona Ciunaite

Everyone is looking for something. How to feel better, how to be more comfortable, how to escape the unwanted, how to fix your broken self that keeps reacting and creating situations where they could be avoided.

And many people go into spiritual seeking hoping for a magic pill that will fix all of it at once. And years of seeking may end in a recognition. A honeymoon phase, some deep relief - and then the old patterns return.

Surprise.

So what to do? If you are listening to pointers that say there is nothing to do, the story is not real, there is no one to fix - this may become a new escape route. And it may work for a bit, but not for long. Because life is here to be lived, not to be managed.

So here comes a question: how to master this experience so that there is space for more joy and peace? Is there a technique, a method one could follow to get out of trouble?

And that's more seeking.

But there is something inbuilt in us already, and it has been running quietly ever since we can remember, that cannot be taught.

And that is kindness.

It's an attitude. Not a technique or a magic trick, but a way to meet what arises.

This I call Deep Looking.

1 week ago | [YT] | 24

Ilona Ciunaite

Seeing Through The Self Illusion
Free monthly group meeting on Zoom

📅 Thursday, 16th of July
⏱ 90 minutes

🕓 4pm London
🕔 5pm Paris
🕗 8am San Francisco
🕚 11am New York

The Zoom link goes out to my email subscribers, and you can also find it here:
👉 ilonaciunaite.com/events/

Monthly group meetings are free. Open to everyone curious. Just come.

2 weeks ago | [YT] | 16

Ilona Ciunaite

There's a free meeting coming up, and you're warmly invited.

Once a month, I open a space on Zoom for anyone who is seeking, wondering, or simply curious about what it means to see through the illusion of a separate self. We sit together, we look, and we meet whatever is here. You don't need any background or any experience. You only need to come as you are.

These meetings are gentle. Sometimes we explore a question together, sometimes someone shares what they're moving through, and we look at it in real time, and sometimes we simply rest in the quiet of being met. Whatever happens, you're welcome to listen, to speak, or to stay silent. There is no wrong way to be here.

If something in you has been longing for peace, or if you've been carrying a quiet tiredness from years of searching, this is a soft place to begin. Come and see what opens when you stop and simply look.

18th of June at 7pm Mauritius. All info and access link are on this page.
ilonaciunaite.com/events/


I would love to see you there.

With love,
Ilona

1 month ago | [YT] | 26

Ilona Ciunaite

In 2018 I was living at the end of a road in a jungle in Mexico, filming my first videos on a phone with barely any storage and 5 megabits of internet. It took a day and a half to upload seven minutes of video. I had no idea what I was doing. I just had a message that needed to come through, and something inside that kept saying, keep going, this is right.

Today, this channel has reached 5000 subscribers.

I wrote the full story of this journey, the struggles, the podcast, the guests, and what keeps me showing up. It's on the blog and the link is in the comments.
Thank you for being here. This channel exists because you are in it.

1 month ago | [YT] | 114

Ilona Ciunaite

Jim Newman's interview is making some waves: 5,000 views and so many rich comments. Thank you for watching and for engaging so honestly. Something is clearly being stirred, and that is exactly the point.



Whatever arises in you when you hear this message, agreement, irritation, confusion, relief, that is an invitation. Not to fix it or resolve it, but to look at it. What is here? What is reacting? That is where the real inquiry begins.



Jim Newman, as a character, is neither right nor wrong. It is all included :) What matters is what the message does in you. That movement, that friction, that question that won't quite settle, that is something to work with. Follow it.



If something opened up for you, great. If questions arose, even better, you have something real to look at now. And if none of it landed and you're just having a regular Tuesday, that's perfectly fine too. Enjoy your day.

1 month ago | [YT] | 45

Ilona Ciunaite

Maybe you’ve had glimpses.

Moments where the separate self seemed to disappear for a while. Moments of openness, peace, clarity, or deep connection. And maybe part of you thought, “This is it.”

But then the old identity returned. Emotional patterns returned. Contraction returned. And the search quietly became about trying to get back to an experience that already passed.

In my new conversation with Loch Kelly, we explored why so many seekers become stuck after the first glimpse — and why the shift may actually be much closer and more ordinary than the mind expects.

We spoke about embodiment, emotional healing, awareness, dissociation, and what it means to live awake in ordinary life instead of chasing states.

Loch also guided several direct experiential glimpses live during the conversation itself.

This was one of the clearest and most grounded conversations I’ve had on channel.



New episode now live.

2 months ago (edited) | [YT] | 39