The World Story: What Happened?

The World Story: What Happened?
Formerly "This Day In History," instead of just mentioning a few events that happened to have occurred on the same date, but different years, now we are trying to put a perplexing story together to answer this [expletives imagined] question: What happened? How did the world get this way - the way it is now?
Who better to tell that story than our own Darrel, the world's #1 Artificially Intelligent comedian. As Dulcinea, our announcer, describes him, "He has no personality, his jokes are pathetic, and if he had a real face he would be ugly."
Who, but Darrel, would trudge forward in the face of such insults? Who but Darrel would show up every day, occasionally drunk, to get the story out to you? Darrel, that's who.