nathophobia

oh also
yeah I made a community post like 30 seconds ago but I dnt feel like editing it

last year I said I was going to do something big for the channel's 3 year anniversary but like

my dumb ass kinda forgot what I was going to do so ignore that

ok

7 months ago | [YT] | 0

nathophobia

sorryg for my lack of presence recently

school has been becoming overwhelming and I keep putting off writing spectrum stuff for later and then spending all my time working on worthless passion projects that I never end up finishing

umm yeah.

unsure about posting spectrum stuff on my obscure alt account that nobody knows about because it'll help people link the channels together and because recently all my ideas for spectrum animations that aren't episodes include revealing lore that I want people to get from the episodes themselves

anyways. im not gonna let down me from 2 years ago by not making spectrum a miniseries

an issue I'm experiencing is that for the longest time I've been using flipaclip and cropping out the watermark but I just don't like how the quality of the final exports are so bad. I might have to finally spend money for once, whether that's on a better program or just,, to get rid of the watermark.

how I feel turning 3 sentences into 3 paragraphs for a community post that no one is going to read

7 months ago | [YT] | 0

nathophobia

hello!!
i come with more useless announcements!

i've decided that this channel is going to be only to post the episodes of spectrum that i have planned. i'm working on scripting, and a few of my friends have been willing to help out which is really awesome thank you guys :D
(this is still expected to be a small project and we doubt that it'll get popular but it's something I've wanted to do for a while and it'll follow me to my grave.. or whenever I forget about spectrum lmao)

unfortunately the videos I have on this channel WILL get unisted once the first episode comes out, along with this channel being renamed to "SPECTRUM".

as for my new channel, i still don't know what i'm going to do with it. i might just use it to post stuff that isn't spectrum episodes, whether they're animations related to spectrum or not, and i may have a separate channel for personal stuff. running three channels sounds kind of weird, and for some reason it's even weirder to me to have them connected but having them apart is also... blegh, so im just debating what to do with youtube now but i do want to continue making content for fun ^_^

as for my recent personal issues that i've talked about, i've come to realize that all the time i spent obsessing was useless. though i don't completely understand some of the other party's actions, and i don't completely want to forgive those actions, im willing to forgive the people, or at least move on and be able to go on with life, if not as friends (im not very sure i want to go back to being friends with them just yet) then at least as, acquaintances? idk i just know it's probably been really uncomfortable and confusing for all of us the way we handled stuff and i think we all want to move forward :(

(i know this is probably weird but i've started deleting some of my community posts regarding this situation since i wanted to keep it private in the first place and since i'm trying to leave it behind me)

sadly i developed some trust issues over the past few months, but they don't affect me too much in my day-to-day life, at least. i hope to be able to lose some of that little by little, but i don't think they'll completely leave

so.. yeah

(by the way, going back to spectrum, i don't know if my friends who are helping me out are gonna want credit for doing such, but if they do it'll most likely be in the channel's description since the episodes are planned to not have anything besides the episode itself)

maybe i'll eventually connect at least this channel with the other one, i don't know. i do know that i'll end up deleting all community posts except for this one.. maybe? so yeah

that's about it, my yap session comes to an end at last

8 months ago (edited) | [YT] | 0

nathophobia

dude,, hey... YouTube algorithm... I'm alright, the feelings from the stuff I express in my community post vents normally gets better...

PLEASE STOP ADDING THE SILLIEST AND STUPIDEST VIDEOS TO MY RECOMMENDED,,, LIKE...

WHAT IS THIS 😭


anyways I want to apologize AGAIN for venting on this channel I keep saying "rahgg!! It's not the right place to do so!!!!1!" and then doing it anyways

idk why I spend so much time obsessing over what I do or don't do with this channel, it's literally not that popular lmao

I think I'm going to make a separate channel since this one is mainly for SPECTRUM and little skits I make and I feel like putting other stuff on here is gonna kill the vibe (not that there was a "vibe" in the first place but idk it doesn't feel right)

I'm not going to link this new channel here, still undecided if I'll link this one on that one because I kind of want a new start... I've had some "new starts" on this channel in the past but they were all still... y'know... here

there's also some stuff I'd like to leave behind on this channel. I'm not quitting it entirely, I use this account for a lot of stuff, and I still care tons about SPECTRUM, but that doesn't erase things I'm trying to forget (not just my bad unlisted animations from like,, 2 years ago..)

P.S. i AM going to give the channel name to people like my friends and i doubt no one from here's gonna find em so it's not like I'm starting a new identity or anything (if you guys are reading this hii ily thank you for being so patient with me recently 🫂🫂)

9 months ago | [YT] | 1

nathophobia

:(

10 months ago | [YT] | 0

nathophobia

today is lee's birthday! happy birthday, lee!!

(here's a lazy lil drawing i did of him :3)

it's too bad time works differently in our realities and it isn't really his birthday where he is

still wanted to celebrate, though!!

(also happy valentine's day to those of you who don't have a birthday today)

10 months ago | [YT] | 3

nathophobia

fwoooooogh my eyes hurt

sorry 2 community posts same day this is getting deleted at some point for sure

i feel really immature doing this but i dont see why now is a good time to suddenly start acting mature


my head just really hurts

i want to vent but i cant

im being watched

maybe it just feels that way

maybe no one cares

i havent really talked about this publicly on the internet because i just dont feel like its the right place. especially not here where people want entertainment. bad mental health isnt entertainment at all. i dont judge people who do, though. everyone has different ways of getting their feelings out

anyways, i havent really talked about it publicly but sometimes before i go to bed i get a feeling that i wont wake up again in the morning
tonight that feeling is back
im not in the best mental state right now
i really need to talk
but i cant
theres no one i can talk to while feeling safe
even if there is, they cant help me fix anything
idk this is dumb lol

im being super naive rn

this feels wrong

everything does

good night

10 months ago | [YT] | 2

nathophobia

art stuff :0

(from older to newer)

btw im not posting these to my twitter because im still scared of it but i probably should

edit: woah update

because of recent events (yes it is what you're thinking) I won't be using my twitter account anymore and am going to look for alternatives

Skip the Carousel

1 2 3

10 months ago (edited) | [YT] | 4

nathophobia

hi hello it's me again

it'll be a while until i post any new animations, lately my motivations been low and whenever i start something new i give up halfway because i don't really see where this is going :(

I'm going to make a few animations only for myself and for my friends to view bc somehow that makes me feel better when I don't have motivation to post

nevertheless, thank you to those who have stuck around even with my inactivity (and to my silly dumb friends cheering me on /pos), I will continue to improve :D

edit: btw,, i might still post stuff like the "alone" video.. I was mainly referring to the ones with music, or "animation memes" as most people call them
I don't really like calling my animations that since it's a very.. overpopularized term in my opinion but hey it's not that deep lmao



I was hoping not to animate more videos like that since I plan for them to focus on the more serious topics that my characters face and it's just more fun to animate something with music but being real I showcase their trauma either way,, so yeah.

11 months ago (edited) | [YT] | 2

nathophobia

reference

1 year ago | [YT] | 3