hi, i'm mata, also known as charlie soda, bryce, or pebbles in certain communities.
i use she/her or he/him pronouns.
jack-of-all-trades artist currently fighting a mystery illness.
in better health i draw, animate, model, code, sculpt, sing, make music, and play guitar. you can find my non-animation content on my side channel @severalstones
I do art entirely for fun, and I make whatever I want, generally whatever I'm interested in most. my interests can be very intense, and shift suddenly.
for my content usage and personal boundaries, please read my links.
CONTENT WARNING: my videos are not made for kids and often contain violence and heavy themes.
mata schmata
another update.
i have been doing alright, relatively. i got my lung function cleared, so all the really scary stuff has officially been ruled out. my weight is still improving, and my surgery is officially scheduled for mid-september, and i have more tests covered.
we're just. surviving. 👍
1 week ago | [YT] | 643
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mata schmata
heeey. another update.
so. on the 16th, things got worse again, despite all of the treatment we've been trying. i don't know why. i'm feeling a bit better now, but yeah. i'm still maintaining my weight at least.
i had my echocardiogram and holter monitor tests, and fortunately my heart has been cleared, so i'll be having surgery hopefully soon.
fingers crossed that there's some improvement in my symptoms with the surgery, cause if not recovery is gonna suck lol
we have some new theories about what might be going on in the meantime. one doctor i spoke to online thinks it may be an issue that can sometimes happen to people with my genetic disorder and my doctor is willing to try some conservative management methods to see if they help?
i hope everyone out there is doing well. wish me luck
3 weeks ago (edited) | [YT] | 880
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mata schmata
hi everyone another update on my health situation.
so. we still don't have any definitive results about what's going on. i can say that i got a full contrast brain MRI and was fully cleared. the downside is we still aren't really sure what's causing the symptoms, but we still have a few things we haven't checked. I'm waiting to get my echo, and if that looks good the surgery for the stone will be after.
I will say some good news: I'm currently the heaviest I've weighed in almost 4 years of suffering from chronic malnutrition. SNAP doesn't cover everything I need to eat, so the donations have been immensely helpful on that front, thank you all again for the help :']
I'm overall slowly starting to feel better. I'm definitely not back to my baseline yet, and i still have some bad days but the good days are outnumbering them now. as long as this is taking, I'm coping okay. i have medicine that helps and support from all sides. I will get through this.
here's a reminder to eat today if you haven't, drink some water, and go to bed if it's 3 am. your body might fail you at times but it's the only one you get--take care of it.
1 month ago (edited) | [YT] | 789
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mata schmata
hii everyone... another update
i got around $1000 ($900 after ko-fi's fees- which i underestimated tbh.) in donations in the first 24 hours, which is why I closed them. I don't think we are going to need more than that (at least I hope so.) I didnt expect to get more than maybe $100 max. I don't want to take more than I need, so they were closed, but I still appreciate it immensely. If we end up needing more I will open them again.
the air filter seems to be helping a lot, i've had a lot more energy and have even been able to spend some time out of bed without sedation. i'm back up to around 104 pounds, but eating solid food is still really difficult. there's only so many calories you can get in your body every day with nutrition shakes and Ensure alone.
we still aren't quite sure what the root of the problem is. right now we are trying to knock down things that could be exacerbating it.
one theory my pcp proposed is that a 2.1 cm kidney stone the ER found is causing my autonomic nervous system to malfunction. i will be getting my heart checked on the 2nd, and if all is well i'll be having surgery hopefully soon after to remove it. the cardiologist will also hopefully be able to either find or rule out other potential causes or contributors. i'm seeing pretty much every specialist in the books over the course of the next 2 months.
if it seems like months is a long time to be dysfunctionally sick, it is. but this is actually the "urgent" version of scheduling appointments with the state our healthcare system is currently in. i would be waiting even longer if my symptoms weren't so acute and my PCP wasn't supporting me so heavily.
thank you all again for the support, checking in and well wishes. some of these days have been incredibly hard, and i really have needed to hear it.
2 months ago (edited) | [YT] | 652
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mata schmata
I've gotten $300+ in donations since I originally posted the video, thank you all so much ;;
the first priorities are to treat other health problems that we believe may be contributing to the severity of my symptoms--an air filter for my asthma, and an expensive supplement that manages a genetic deficiency. I've been going without either for a while due to monetary constraints, and I'd noticed the decline in my health even before the crash, so it will certainly help me feel a little better.
thank you again, so, so much.
i'll try to continue posting updates, including my condition and what else the money is being used for so everyone knows how much their contributions are helping. thank you.
2 months ago (edited) | [YT] | 664
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mata schmata
status update on my last post (to recap, I have been intensely sick for almost 2 weeks with a mystery illness affecting my nervous system.)
Both ERs apparently omitted many of my abnormal test results on the assumption it was anxiety. Fortunately my PCP was able to look over the test results herself and identify evidence of my symptoms, but we're still a bit lost on what the cause could be. We're trialling different medications to see what helps until I can see specialists.
As for my condition, things still aren't Great but I am doing better. I'm learning to cope with the pain and my flare ups are getting rarer and shorter. I'm hopeful that I'll be able to recover to a functional state *eventually,* but with American healthcare wait times, I'm not sure how long that will be.
Although I don't think it's a cause, my anxiety, as well as my AuADHD has been very intense as a result of this, and triggers that I could cope with before now hit me incredibly hard and exacerbate my symptoms. I will need to take a break from basically everything for a while.
thank you so much for the supportive words on my last post, I read what I can.
2 months ago | [YT] | 414
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mata schmata
heyyy y'all I have some pretty bad news hahaha. this is going to be a bit dramatic so please forgive me, I don't have the energy to be polite anymore
I am incredibly sick and in a lot of pain and discomfort. I've been to the ER many times but I am unfortunately stuck on Medicaid, and so far no one is able to even begin to try to look past basic tests to identify the issue. no suggestions of specialists from my doctor. most just unfortunately blaming my GAD diagnosis from 13 years ago.
I don't really know what else to say. this has been going on about a week of unbearable agony i only get relief from when i pass out from exhaustion or am sedated in the hospital.
I have no idea if or when I'll be able to animate or even draw again. everyone keeps telling me this will pass so just have hope for me I suppose.
If you have similar stories, especially ones of recovery, please share. i could really use the reassurance right now.
2 months ago | [YT] | 501
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mata schmata
update on how i've been doing and what i've been working on !!
i've been doing alright, just focusing a little more on my mental health and trying to have more healthy habits. my creative inspiration tends to hit between 2 and 8 am, and as i've gotten older i've begun to generally have way less energy late at night, plus it was harming my ability to spend time with friends and family since i was sleeping during the day lol.
once i've moved in w my partner and my life stabilizes a little more and i have less worries i have many artistic goals for the future and i hope y'all will stick around to see them. for now, though, my goals are simply just to get my ideas on paper in any way i can. so try to have no expectations from me from here on out.
as of my interests and the kind of content you can expect, i've been pretty hyperfixated on AvAvM/stickfight. so if that's something that interests you, stay tuned >:3
as a heads up, you can find all of my recent art here! fivepebble.tumblr.com/tagged/fpart
i've also been poking music a little, it's not Great but if you'd like to see my progress, i've posted 3 songs so far and you can find them here: soundcloud.com/mataschmata
5 months ago (edited) | [YT] | 719
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mata schmata
i made it
7 months ago | [YT] | 328
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mata schmata
huh?wh
9 months ago | [YT] | 849
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