After canceled concert in Kobe Suga had a short break and later wrote a long letter for ARMY. (December 2015 maybe) The translation :
Hello, this is Suga. Many people were curious as to what I was doing on my break, and to simply put it, I walked a lot, slept a lot and thought a lot. I wanted to go on a trip to organize my thoughts before working on my mixtape. I also had a place I must go to.
I wanted to do things I was able to do not as a 24-year old BTS' Suga, but as a 24-year old Min Yoongi. It was a time where I looked back at myself. The things I will say now are things I wanted to share not as a singer to a fan or as BTS to ARMY, but to talk to you as human to human.
I've always wanted to be a cool person to a lot of people. Having rationale thoughts and making rationale decisions in any situations. I wanted to live like my father. My father said to take a look around you when there's something to be happy about. Be calm and make rationale decisions when happy. The first day when " I need u " got Ist place, I took a look at my surroundings. Every minute I'm happy, I acted as if I'm not. When I'm sad I acted as if I'm not. Even if I like it, I acted as if I don't like it. I pretended to be cold-hearted and pretended to be strong.
If a joy is shared, it will be doubled but if a sadness is shared, it won't get smaller. That's what I thought. I know I'm a person who's bad at expressing my emotions but I've been living that way and I thought it's right.
One day, I can't exactly remember when, I was in a car with my father and he said "Yoongi, don't live like me".
The first day of vacation. The first day ever since I was born, I drank with my family. It has been 6 years since I left home. We were all just chatting, listening to stories that we haven't heard of. The strong and cool father that I know, knows how to feel hurt and sad, how to feel happy and love..
1.5-pyeong in the practice room, my studio is my wide meadows and narrow prison. I can do anything and at the Same time, I can't really do anything. I can work on music thoughtlessly for 20 hours, but I can also sit there and not do anything but just thinking for 20 hours.
I was 13 years old when I first started writing my own lyrics. When I listen to good music, I will feel really excited and I feel really happy more than anything. To me, music is my hope and my happiness, I also want to be someone's hope and happiness.
Actually I'm Someone who would just walk away rather to crash and feel pain. Anyone hates being hurt and I don't want to get hurt. In "Nevermind", "If you feel like you a going to crash then accelerate more". Perharps, that's actually what I wanted to say to myself.
The most upsetting time for me when I face a large number of people, is when I face myself who isn't able to be fair to everyone. I didn't want to hurt anyone, but there are times I couldn't do that. I think I'm still a person that lacks in many things.
The second day of the concert in Kobe... I don't think I've ever slept deeply after that day. Could it be because of the fact that I gave a wound to many people? Whenever I fell asleep, I would wake up with cold sweat.
Because I already once have not been able to go on stage before and have hurt many people, I said that I'll go up (to perform) no matter what situation arises. Everyone tried to stop me. I really cried a ton at the situation of not being able to go up on stage. And I know crying is losing.
It's really easy for me to cope with my own Sorrow, but witnessing those who love me in sadness is very hard. I made them sad, once again. If I could go back to that day, I would go on stage no matter what.
So there was just one place to go. I went to Kobe during my break. Many people tried to stop me from going, but I didn't want to be ashamed of myself any longer. So I just went to Kobe without planning.
It was my second time visiting the concert venue after a concert. The first was Ax Hall at late night after finishing the first Red Bullet concert. The second time was the Kobe World Memorial Hall, at where I failed to perform.
I hate becoming a numb person. I didn't want to take the love and these glorious days for granted. I didn't want to be a numb person. That's why I visited the venues again on my own. (T/N: He's saying he doesn't want to take all the love he's receiving as granted, he really wants to appreciate every single love he gets. He's meaning numb in the way by how he wouldn't be able to feel what the fans feel about him. He's basically saying he wants to appreciate every love he gets from his fans)
I liked being on stage, and I still do. When I was 17 and performed in front of 2 people I stood proudly and made eye contact with them during my performance. However after my debut I feel that I have not been righteous towards myself. I think it may be because I knew better than anyone that I wasn't perfect.
And then on the day of the first performance of HYYH on stage I made proud eye contact with the audience that I didn't do in quite a while.
But after the second day of the Kobe concert when I was unable to stand on stage, I didn't have the courage to confidently confront the large number of people. So that's why I visited Kobe, the concert hall again. I kept wandering around the area by the concert hall from the time I arrived there until the time our performance was due to begin that day.
From the ticketing booth to the entrance I wanted to feel and the concert hall the Same emotions as you all from every nook and corner. I felt many emotions. Happiness, the excited nervousness felt while waiting for the performance, sadness, resentment, anger, regret, etc. I wanted to understand you all, and I do understand. So I'm sorry and apologetic, for I am not a perfect human being. I'm a person who is weak but acts strong. Once again I realized that I was a person who's lacking.
Although I'm not religious, I prayed at that place. After all, at the end, it was a fated day. Even if it's ended, let's not let this heart become numb.
To me, who wanted to spend every moment alone, you all were taking up quite a large part (of my mind). Age and gender, nationality and religion, what language you use all of that isn't important to me. "Whether you're young or old, whether you have a hidden child, I don't care' haven't I said this already.
That day, we unexpectedly had a Music Bank broadcast and I boarded a plane and returned a day before planned. I returned after organizing my many thoughts.
Once again, while feeling that I'm a blessed person, I felt that I need to be a person who lives every moment feeling thankful. This is the moment I realizied the fact that 24-year old Min Yoongi, who hates being an adult, is standing in front of the threshold to being an adult.
Thank you for making me a blessed person, ARMY. Although I'm never able to say this because I'm bad at expressing myself. Here I am conveying my feelings and thoughts once more through a piece of less-than-satisfactory writing. I will live while being thankful of every moment as I am such a lacking human being. I love you, ARMY.
DRAMA_UPDATES
After canceled concert in Kobe Suga had a short break and later wrote a long letter for ARMY. (December 2015 maybe)
The translation :
Hello, this is Suga. Many people were curious as to what I was doing on my break, and to simply put it, I walked a lot, slept a lot and thought a lot. I wanted to go on a trip to organize my thoughts before working on my mixtape. I also had a place I must go to.
I wanted to do things I was able to do not as a 24-year old BTS' Suga, but as a 24-year old Min Yoongi. It was a time where I looked back at myself. The things I will say now are things I wanted to share not as a singer to a fan or as BTS to ARMY, but to talk to you as human to human.
I've always wanted to be a cool person to a lot of people. Having rationale thoughts and making rationale decisions in any situations. I wanted to live like my father. My father said to take a look around you when there's something to be happy about. Be calm and make rationale decisions when happy. The first day when " I need u " got Ist place, I took a look at my surroundings. Every minute I'm happy, I acted as if I'm not. When I'm sad I acted as if I'm not. Even if I like it, I acted as if I don't like it. I pretended to be cold-hearted and pretended to be strong.
If a joy is shared, it will be doubled but if a sadness is shared, it won't get smaller. That's what I thought. I know I'm a person who's bad at expressing my emotions but I've been living that way and I thought it's right.
One day, I can't exactly remember when, I was in a car with my father and he said "Yoongi, don't live like me".
The first day of vacation. The first day ever since I was born, I drank with my family. It has been 6 years since I left home. We were all just chatting, listening to stories that we haven't heard of. The strong and cool father that I know, knows how to feel hurt and sad, how to feel happy and love..
1.5-pyeong in the practice room, my studio is my wide meadows and narrow prison. I can do anything and at the Same time, I can't really do anything. I can work on music thoughtlessly for 20 hours, but I can also sit there and not do anything but just thinking for 20 hours.
I was 13 years old when I first started writing my own lyrics.
When I listen to good music, I will feel really excited and I feel really happy more than anything. To me, music is my hope and my happiness, I also want to be someone's hope and happiness.
Actually I'm Someone who would just walk away rather to crash and feel pain.
Anyone hates being hurt and I don't want to get hurt. In "Nevermind", "If you feel like you a going to crash then accelerate more". Perharps, that's actually what I wanted to say to myself.
The most upsetting time for me when I face a large number of people, is when I face myself who isn't able to be fair to everyone. I didn't want to hurt anyone, but there are times I couldn't do that. I think I'm still a person that lacks in many things.
The second day of the concert in Kobe... I don't think I've ever slept deeply after that day. Could it be because of the fact that I gave a wound to many people? Whenever I fell asleep, I would wake up with cold sweat.
Because I already once have not been able to go on stage before and have hurt many people, I said that I'll go up (to perform) no matter what situation arises. Everyone tried to stop me. I really cried a ton at the situation of not being able to go up on stage. And I know crying is losing.
It's really easy for me to cope with my own Sorrow, but witnessing those who love me in sadness is very hard. I made them sad, once again. If I could go back to that day, I would go on stage no matter what.
So there was just one place to go. I went to Kobe during my break. Many people tried to stop me from going, but I didn't want to be ashamed of myself any longer.
So I just went to Kobe without planning.
It was my second time visiting the concert venue after a concert. The first was Ax Hall at late night after finishing the first Red Bullet concert.
The second time was the Kobe World Memorial Hall, at where I failed to perform.
I hate becoming a numb person. I didn't want to take the love and these glorious days for granted. I didn't want to be a numb person.
That's why I visited the venues again on my own.
(T/N: He's saying he doesn't want to take all the love he's receiving as granted, he really wants to appreciate every single love he gets. He's meaning numb in the way by how he wouldn't be able to feel what the fans feel about him. He's basically saying he wants to appreciate every love he gets from his fans)
I liked being on stage, and I still do. When I was 17 and performed in front of 2 people I stood proudly and made eye contact with them during my performance.
However after my debut I feel that I have not been righteous towards myself. I think it may be because I knew better than anyone that I wasn't perfect.
And then on the day of the first performance of HYYH on stage I made proud eye contact with the audience that I didn't do in quite a while.
But after the second day of the Kobe concert when I was unable to stand on stage, I didn't have the courage to confidently confront the large number of people. So that's why I visited Kobe, the concert hall again. I kept wandering around the area by the concert hall from the time I arrived there until the time our performance was due to begin that day.
From the ticketing booth to the entrance I wanted to feel and the concert hall the Same emotions as you all from every nook and corner. I felt many emotions.
Happiness, the excited nervousness felt while waiting for the performance, sadness, resentment, anger, regret, etc. I wanted to understand you all, and I do understand. So I'm sorry and apologetic, for I am not a perfect human being. I'm a person who is weak but acts strong. Once again I realized that I was a person who's lacking.
Although I'm not religious, I prayed at that place. After all, at the end, it was a fated day. Even if it's ended, let's not let this heart become numb.
To me, who wanted to spend every moment alone, you all were taking up quite a large part (of my mind). Age and gender, nationality and religion, what language you use all of that isn't important to me. "Whether you're young or old, whether you have a hidden child, I don't care' haven't I said this already.
That day, we unexpectedly had a Music Bank broadcast and I boarded a plane and returned a day before planned.
I returned after organizing my many thoughts.
Once again, while feeling that I'm a blessed person, I felt that I need to be a person who lives every moment feeling thankful. This is the moment I realizied the fact that 24-year old Min Yoongi, who hates being an adult, is standing in front of the threshold to being an adult.
Thank you for making me a blessed person, ARMY. Although I'm never able to say this because I'm bad at expressing myself. Here I am conveying my feelings and thoughts once more through a piece of less-than-satisfactory writing. I will live while being thankful of every moment as I am such a lacking human being.
I love you, ARMY.
4 years ago | [YT] | 78