Hi everyone! Since leaving YouTube almost two years ago I've gotten so many wonderful comments from you all with appreciation, well wishes, and requests for my return. Even during my hiatusxhiatus this channel has continued to gain subscribers and the Gon/Meruem video hit over 1 million views. It means A LOT to me even though I haven't been active so THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!
While I'm not ready to say I will be back in a full capacity I can say I have been itching to do some livestreams and to interact with you all. Whether that be talking about Hunter x Hunter, playing video games, or just shootin' the breeze I just want to do SOMETHING and keep it simple for now. Streams will probably be spontaneous or planned only a day in advance since work/life keep me busy and can oftentimes shift my plans unexpectedly. Speaking of life...
Things have changed a lot in my life for the better. I became an uncle (again) to an energetic little boy who is going to be two years old in September. My family is about a 2-hour drive from me so I've been going there once or twice a month to spend weekends with them all (instead of editing and writing scripts all weekend). It's been a real joy. My career has been going well and I've been lucky to still be able to work from home during this pandemic. Over the past two years I've gotten two promotions and I've finally saved enough for a down-payment on a house that I mentioned as a goal in my last video. I'm not 100% ready to make the jump since renting is so convenient and non-committal, but I'm happy with the progress I've made towards that goal.
On a more personal note... I want to chat about something that I didn't reveal in my video about leaving Youtube. Between November 2017 - Janaury 2018 I started to experience a lot of anxiety and (what I didn't realize at the time) depression. I was unmotivated, unhappy with my performance at work, felt guilty about indulging in my hobbies or spending time with family/friends, and was not taking care of my physical health enough. In January 2018 I had a panic attack so severe that I was bedridden for several days and could barely stomach a meal a day. While I've had mild panic attacks and generalized anxiety in the past, this one was on a whole different level. After a similar, debilitating panic attack only a month later I decided to seek the assistance of a medical professional. All of the reasons I listed for leaving YouTube in that last video were true, but this was part of that decision that I wanted to keep to myself at the time because I was still in the process of digging myself out of a mental black pit. When I first sought treatment I did not want to accept my diagnosis, resisted taking the recommended medications, and insisted that my feelings were justified because "I should be doing better in life by now". Thankfully, I did eventually come to terms with it and put trust in my doctor (she is amazing). The reason I'm telling you this now is because 1) many were concerned about my general well-being when I left 2) I am in a much better mental state than I was back then (and have been for a while now) and felt ready to share. I've learned to focus more on the NOW to avoid an existential crisis, accept the things I cannot control, communicate my feeling better, handle stressful situations better, stop comparing myself to others, and be thankful for what I've accomplished instead of focusing on what I haven't. There are still things I struggle with and need to work on, but I'm much better equipped to handle these hurdles/challenges thanks to the guidance of my doctors and a renewed attitude. If any of the feelings I expressed in the beginning of this paragraph resonated with you, I would encourage you to reach out to a medical professional. Please understand that you are not alone and there are people who may understand your feelings better than you do yourself.
Anyway...I didn't expect to go into all of that and was just going to say I'll see you all soon on a livestream, but it flowed pretty naturally.
TL;DR:
1. I'm going to start doing the occasional, casual livestream on this channel soon
2. I'm happy and doing well :)
As always, thanks for the support and I hope to you chat with you all soon.
Tales of Nerdia
Hi everyone! Since leaving YouTube almost two years ago I've gotten so many wonderful comments from you all with appreciation, well wishes, and requests for my return. Even during my hiatusxhiatus this channel has continued to gain subscribers and the Gon/Meruem video hit over 1 million views. It means A LOT to me even though I haven't been active so THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!
While I'm not ready to say I will be back in a full capacity I can say I have been itching to do some livestreams and to interact with you all. Whether that be talking about Hunter x Hunter, playing video games, or just shootin' the breeze I just want to do SOMETHING and keep it simple for now. Streams will probably be spontaneous or planned only a day in advance since work/life keep me busy and can oftentimes shift my plans unexpectedly. Speaking of life...
Things have changed a lot in my life for the better. I became an uncle (again) to an energetic little boy who is going to be two years old in September. My family is about a 2-hour drive from me so I've been going there once or twice a month to spend weekends with them all (instead of editing and writing scripts all weekend). It's been a real joy. My career has been going well and I've been lucky to still be able to work from home during this pandemic. Over the past two years I've gotten two promotions and I've finally saved enough for a down-payment on a house that I mentioned as a goal in my last video. I'm not 100% ready to make the jump since renting is so convenient and non-committal, but I'm happy with the progress I've made towards that goal.
On a more personal note... I want to chat about something that I didn't reveal in my video about leaving Youtube. Between November 2017 - Janaury 2018 I started to experience a lot of anxiety and (what I didn't realize at the time) depression. I was unmotivated, unhappy with my performance at work, felt guilty about indulging in my hobbies or spending time with family/friends, and was not taking care of my physical health enough. In January 2018 I had a panic attack so severe that I was bedridden for several days and could barely stomach a meal a day. While I've had mild panic attacks and generalized anxiety in the past, this one was on a whole different level. After a similar, debilitating panic attack only a month later I decided to seek the assistance of a medical professional. All of the reasons I listed for leaving YouTube in that last video were true, but this was part of that decision that I wanted to keep to myself at the time because I was still in the process of digging myself out of a mental black pit. When I first sought treatment I did not want to accept my diagnosis, resisted taking the recommended medications, and insisted that my feelings were justified because "I should be doing better in life by now". Thankfully, I did eventually come to terms with it and put trust in my doctor (she is amazing). The reason I'm telling you this now is because 1) many were concerned about my general well-being when I left 2) I am in a much better mental state than I was back then (and have been for a while now) and felt ready to share. I've learned to focus more on the NOW to avoid an existential crisis, accept the things I cannot control, communicate my feeling better, handle stressful situations better, stop comparing myself to others, and be thankful for what I've accomplished instead of focusing on what I haven't. There are still things I struggle with and need to work on, but I'm much better equipped to handle these hurdles/challenges thanks to the guidance of my doctors and a renewed attitude. If any of the feelings I expressed in the beginning of this paragraph resonated with you, I would encourage you to reach out to a medical professional. Please understand that you are not alone and there are people who may understand your feelings better than you do yourself.
Anyway...I didn't expect to go into all of that and was just going to say I'll see you all soon on a livestream, but it flowed pretty naturally.
TL;DR:
1. I'm going to start doing the occasional, casual livestream on this channel soon
2. I'm happy and doing well :)
As always, thanks for the support and I hope to you chat with you all soon.
5 years ago | [YT] | 50