Boyinaband

I mentioned on twitter I'm trying some new meds. They were initially good, then things got really rough. A lot of confusing and varied thoughts and emotions. My psych suggested I increased the dose so I've just done that today, 15mg escitalopram now up from 10mg.

I'm trying to let myself get my hopes up, maybe part of my depression has been denying myself anticipation of happiness (I used to stop myself if i noticed I was getting excited about something "prematurely"), but that hope came effortlessly in the first month of the 10mg meds. Now that's faded, it takes energy I don't have much of.

I slept through two therapy appointments. Sleeping pattern has been fucked the past month. This week I didn't sleep through it. I click with my therapist, which apparently is one of the best scientific identifiers of a therapist being effective according to her.

It's hard to know whether it's helping atm, since I assume everyone is feeling brutally lonely rn. Maybe there's just no way for most people to be mentally healthy in a pandemic.

I am really going against my instinct to post this. Right now I'm really closed off, not talking to almost anyone for a while. I don't feel like I have the energy for it. It feels weird talking about this hopefully and publicly without being "fixed". I just know reading things like this on reddit etc. that are so blunt about mental health experiences encouraged me to actually try therapy/meds in the first place + helped with persisting for longer. Statistically, they are worth trying properly.

so what i'm really saying is should i take the meds all in one day to speed up the effect?

4 years ago | [YT] | 17,176



@boyinaband 

Hey guys, right now looks like 95% of you want me to follow the advice of a qualified psychiatrist rather than consuming several month's worth of pills in one go. I thought that it was worth getting the advice of random people on the internet when it comes to something as serious as this., so I'll stick with the instructed dose! Thanks guys ♡

4 years ago | 11,000

@Freyjinn 

its hard to stick with antidepressants at the beginning, because we feel like they don't make us feel better. Even after 8 years, I still feel like my antidepressants are useless, I need to remind myself how I was worse before taking them. Our brain loves to play dirty tricks on us. Especially lately, like you said, this pandemic makes us all feel like lonely pieces of shit. Take care Dave, one day at a time <3

4 years ago | 1,900

@RyGuy-xc3xj

Call a friend and talk with them Dave, and definitely don’t take health advice from a YouTube poll. We love ya Dave, stay safe.

4 years ago | 2,800

@TheFerretofEarth

The fact that over 90% of people weren't trolls that wanted Dave to take months worth of drugs medicine in one go is beautiful

4 years ago (edited) | 540

@zerostar9491

Hey Dave, I'm a doctor, and I've been on Escitalopram myself. Meds like that (belonging to the SSRI category) take some time to build up a level in the plasma where they're actually effective. Since every person is different, the dose required differs for each case, and it can take some tinkering to get it right. It's frustrating, but as someone who's been through it myself and as a medical professional, all you can do is give it time and let your doctor know if the dose isn't working for you. I hope you're able to find peace soon. :)

4 years ago | 653

@horstwalter9383

Remember what Dave said about Chesters passing? He hardly knew him, yet he cared about his suffering. Well, Dave, I care about you. I dont't know you, but I care. A lot of people do. Geez beeing empathetic sucks, but we have to deal with that.

4 years ago (edited) | 1,600

@Inadefender

It's the fact he asked his audience whether he should overdose is wild to me.

2 years ago | 192

@marcz2903

The fact that you're able to joke is an encouraging sign. At least, I hope it's a joke. Stay healthy, my dude.

4 years ago | 215

@brookeg5979

I know there are a billion comments here, but I just wanted to say as an old-lady follower that I think about you from time to time and hope that you're doing ok. I know things have been rough off and on for a lot of years, and I'm glad you're working on getting yourself help and hope. More than anything I wish joy and ease for you. Hugs from a random internet old lady.

4 years ago | 629

@janakijoshi8590

It's ok to exist, to be alive, to struggle, to disappoint, to feel like giving up now and then, and you should never feel ashamed that you're depressed or hate yourself for it.

4 years ago | 664

@specs6637

Hey. I know this probably won’t reach you, but I just wanted to say that your music really helped me get out of some dark places. I truly hope you are doing well, wherever you are or whatever you are doing. Thank you, for everything you’ve done for me. I truly mean that

2 years ago | 20

@wolfgang_k511

The fact that there are many people who ask someone to kill himself because of ALLEGATION with no solid evidence is truly sickening.

2 years ago | 47

@mickimuose4557

Boyinachild

2 years ago | 84

@Old_Man_Miku

it'sd really scary that someone can make allegations against someone with no real evidence of any wrongdoings, but them being taken at face value by everyone and smeared across the internet.

8 months ago | 70

@MrThomas20121

Since people are gonna read new comments, you should read this one. No Dave was not grooming a girl, there is no proof of that, just a reddit thread that was deleted 2 days after it was posted. No he did not leave of the accusation, he was gone before it happened. People don't know he's suffering from depression. That's all I have. Have a nice day and I hope Dave get better!

1 year ago | 236

@miksuwaaan7527

Follow the instructions you've been given. Taking more than what is recommended is a terrible idea. I hope you'll feel better soon, stay strong, we are all here to support you through this.

4 years ago | 50

@theScribe

I am randomly checking Dave's profile from time to time to see if he is doing ok

3 years ago | 29

@lizzietreadaway

Please please be careful. My father had a similar mindset regarding medication. He got put on two different types of antidepressants at once, upped the dosage, and then ended up moving onto opioids. His mental health plummeted and he wound up overdosing in front of me as a kid. Please be careful, Dave. We’re all here for you man and we all want you to stay alive.

4 years ago | 52

@abc09151

Its wired how you can miss someone you have never met. Hopes everthing goes well

4 years ago | 40

@hylianespeon3062

Love you David, I know that doesn't sound like much coming from an internet stranger, but YOUR MUSIC has pushed me through some tough times. I hope you're reading comments, because we really do actually care about you and want the best for you in life. Please, don't end the fight, you haven't won yet, and we'll be here to root you on through all of it.

4 years ago | 73