I would like to apologise if my absence and lack of uploads caused anyone any concern. I can't lie to you and say I haven't been avoiding making a public post about where I'm at because I don't like being a negative force on your community feed. 🙇‍♀️ I know that this channel is a source of amusement or comfort to some.
Toward the end of last year, I suffered major creator burnout. I did my best to hide it because I had received some harsh comments that I wasn't uploading enough. I was dealing with a lot of stress offline due to family circumstances and my own mental health. I wasn't eating. I wasn't sleeping. I cried daily. Making videos stopped being fun for me and became something I never wanted them to be.
So after Christmas I took a step back. I decided to focus on streaming ASMR and games as a hobby to take my mind off things. And I loved it. Making videos has always been an incredibly lonely process. You write scripts alone. You draw art alone. You record alone. You edit alone. I am a very slow worker, so the time alone feels very isolating. When you upload a video there is a huge sense of relief and accomplishment... and then a week passes and you're expected to do it all over again. Other ASMRtists must be very strong, because this process has slowly worn down on me after doing it repeatedly for 2 years.
Streaming was incredibly different— suddenly I could spend time directly with the audience. We could talk about what we liked about ASMR, our favourite anime, games, projects we want to work toward, etc. I was getting to know the community in a way I hadn't been able to before. I now use ASMR streams to test out new triggers that I'd like to incorporate into videos in the future!
I recently had to move house, and a lot of difficult things happened. Our new home was infested by spiders and mice. We had lost furniture and equipment that had to be replaced, including my work desk. My partner's new job was a much more dangerous environment, which caused a strain on our relationship. My mental health tanked. But, with streaming, I was able to regain a small sense of control over my life that had otherwise fallen out of my hands. I was, and am, so grateful.
I have received some comments from viewers who are angry at the lack of uploads. One viewer in particular has taken to commenting on any clips of my streams they can seemingly find that I have "abandoned" this channel for the streaming "BS." I won't lie and say that these comments don't hurt, because they do. This community has been nothing but kind and accepting to ASMRtists when they make new ventures, whether that be cosplaying, streaming/VTubing, vlogging, etc. I am grateful for everyone who has supported my new love of streaming, and I love being able to spend more time with everyone.
I am not abandoning this channel. I simply can't. Even if making videos is lonely, I still love making ASMR roleplays, and I don't want to stop. However, I do know that in order to avoid another burnout like last time, I need to acknowledge that I am slower than other creators. I cannot push myself to create a video every month. Maybe it will be once a month, maybe it will be once every other month. I want to work slowly and peacefully at a pace that won't burn me out and leave me unable to sleep/eat like last December.
Thank you so much for all of your support, encouragement, and kindness during this hiatus. I am currently working on some new videos, but, as I said, I am doing it slowly. And I hope that when I do release a new video, you might be able to enjoy it.
I look forward to continuing our adventure together, slowly. Vivi.
vividlyASMR
Hey, long time no see. I hope you've been well.
I would like to apologise if my absence and lack of uploads caused anyone any concern. I can't lie to you and say I haven't been avoiding making a public post about where I'm at because I don't like being a negative force on your community feed. 🙇‍♀️ I know that this channel is a source of amusement or comfort to some.
Toward the end of last year, I suffered major creator burnout. I did my best to hide it because I had received some harsh comments that I wasn't uploading enough. I was dealing with a lot of stress offline due to family circumstances and my own mental health. I wasn't eating. I wasn't sleeping. I cried daily. Making videos stopped being fun for me and became something I never wanted them to be.
So after Christmas I took a step back. I decided to focus on streaming ASMR and games as a hobby to take my mind off things. And I loved it.
Making videos has always been an incredibly lonely process. You write scripts alone. You draw art alone. You record alone. You edit alone. I am a very slow worker, so the time alone feels very isolating.
When you upload a video there is a huge sense of relief and accomplishment... and then a week passes and you're expected to do it all over again. Other ASMRtists must be very strong, because this process has slowly worn down on me after doing it repeatedly for 2 years.
Streaming was incredibly different— suddenly I could spend time directly with the audience. We could talk about what we liked about ASMR, our favourite anime, games, projects we want to work toward, etc. I was getting to know the community in a way I hadn't been able to before. I now use ASMR streams to test out new triggers that I'd like to incorporate into videos in the future!
I recently had to move house, and a lot of difficult things happened. Our new home was infested by spiders and mice. We had lost furniture and equipment that had to be replaced, including my work desk. My partner's new job was a much more dangerous environment, which caused a strain on our relationship. My mental health tanked.
But, with streaming, I was able to regain a small sense of control over my life that had otherwise fallen out of my hands. I was, and am, so grateful.
I have received some comments from viewers who are angry at the lack of uploads. One viewer in particular has taken to commenting on any clips of my streams they can seemingly find that I have "abandoned" this channel for the streaming "BS."
I won't lie and say that these comments don't hurt, because they do. This community has been nothing but kind and accepting to ASMRtists when they make new ventures, whether that be cosplaying, streaming/VTubing, vlogging, etc. I am grateful for everyone who has supported my new love of streaming, and I love being able to spend more time with everyone.
I am not abandoning this channel. I simply can't. Even if making videos is lonely, I still love making ASMR roleplays, and I don't want to stop. However, I do know that in order to avoid another burnout like last time, I need to acknowledge that I am slower than other creators. I cannot push myself to create a video every month. Maybe it will be once a month, maybe it will be once every other month. I want to work slowly and peacefully at a pace that won't burn me out and leave me unable to sleep/eat like last December.
Thank you so much for all of your support, encouragement, and kindness during this hiatus. I am currently working on some new videos, but, as I said, I am doing it slowly. And I hope that when I do release a new video, you might be able to enjoy it.
I look forward to continuing our adventure together, slowly.
Vivi.
4 years ago | [YT] | 1,303