Sorry about the shortage of content. I have been streaming a lot on Twitch as of the last week. It's been a lot of fun. In fact I am streaming Silent Hill 1 on Thursday! Feel free to join me. I'm still planning on getting a channel update out for you to get you up to speed on what's been going on in my life. It wasn't until the very end of last year I actually settled down in a place I could feel comfortable enough to create content. While I am glad to be back, I deeply regret how I decided to go about breaking the silence on that long hiatus. I made many terrible mistakes since returning to YouTube and I have no problem owning up to them. Even though I wish I could, I can't go back in time and do things the right way. I just feel terrible about it all. If I made you upset in any way with my lack of communication, my unintentional snarky tone of voice in recent videos, or otherwise, then please read on. That's what this wall post is all about.
First of all, I'm sorry. In hindsight, after the long hiatus, I should have immediately jumped on camera and explained everything, ending with the good news in order to celebrate a big happy reunion. I should have talked about what happened and why I had to go away for so long. I should have also thanked all the donators for getting me out of hurricane's way. It would've been bad, bad news without that support, so I am very grateful (Thank you, if you're reading this - I'll mention you in a video soon), but what did I do with my grand triumphant return to YouTube? I said nothing and just started releasing videos again. I could tell from the comments a lot of you were seriously confused by my sense of humor and demeanor; weren't sure if I was being condescending by what I was saying or if there was some hidden, deeper meaning. Because of my piss-poor entrance back to YouTube, then my continued unintentional tone and blunt criticism, coupled with my lack of communication with my subscribers and friends (you). I was literally destroying our relationship along with my channel.
I was misunderstood, but for that, I'm to blame. I wasn't relatable in my recent videos because I didn't communicate my actual feelings. I was trying too hard to stick with the facts and be --as objective as possible!-- Fact is, I was socially withdrawn. I didn't even go outside. I became a recluse. I didn't want to be seen, so I refused to go on camera. It felt like I was only getting worse and I honestly didn't know what I was doing wrong, but I knew something was wrong. But, what...? I felt like I was dazed and nothing was making sense. But just the miracle I needed came from joining a friend's Silent Hill 3 livestream completely on impulse (well, I was lonely, feeling hated, and had downed a few drinks to boot). Without even realizing it, I was in a deep depression. It started with a break-up a few years back that I had a really hard time coming to terms with. It just grew and festered and got worse until after just one night with a good friend. Crazy how a depression can leave you just like that, not to mention not even knowing you were depressed until you start thinking back on it.
The next day I woke up feeling like a new person, the old me. The brain fog was gone and I could think clearly again. Unfortunately, after that, all I could think about were my many mistakes - a chain of them, one right after another. In so many ways, I neglected you all, my YT friends, and I am sorry for that. Honestly, the depression had me completely blind to everything up until recent. And all I want to do now is work hard in order to mend and salvage what relationship we may still have. Hopefully once we're on the same page, after reading this or after watching my next video, I'll earn some trust again by being consistent, reliable, honest, punctual and fun. I know many of you guys are very bitter at me. If you were actually affected by my attitude in recent videos, my neglect, lack of communication, and/or inability to keep promises with my content, this wall post is definitely for you.
Just in case you missed it, I wrote an open Facebook letter to fans, friends, and/or subscribers like you in hopes of clearing things up before I get to the actual video update. And, no, I'm not begging for hand-outs in it at all. In fact, I'm begging for forgiveness, but I don't expect it right away. [www.facebook.com/notes/fungo/streams-transparency-… With a better understanding of my situation after reading this we'll be one step closer to being "pals" again, but I don't expect everyone to forgive me. Communication like this wall post is very important either way. I've been so busy with Twitch streams lately, I haven't found time to finish this channel update, which will go into even more detail. I will be working on it all day tomorrow, though. It's important that I finish it soon.
Thanks for your time and it means a lot to me that you read all this. At least you know I am trying. You know, while you are waiting, feel free to jump into my livestreams on Twitch to chat with me, make new friends, and have fun. [www.twitch.tv/dustfungo] I've made amends with a few other subscribers who have done just that.
Not the livestream type? Join my Discord server [discordapp.com/invite/vDwNsvk] to chat with any number of the nice and silly people there, myself included. Like I said at the beginning, on Thursday and Friday I'm going to be streaming Silent Hill, one of my favorite games and the game that nudged me into being a content creator. It makes sense, though. If you want to go back to your roots, you should go back to your roots. Good luck to you all -- and look forward to more content!
Fungo
Hey, friends!
Sorry about the shortage of content. I have been streaming a lot on Twitch as of the last week. It's been a lot of fun. In fact I am streaming Silent Hill 1 on Thursday! Feel free to join me. I'm still planning on getting a channel update out for you to get you up to speed on what's been going on in my life. It wasn't until the very end of last year I actually settled down in a place I could feel comfortable enough to create content. While I am glad to be back, I deeply regret how I decided to go about breaking the silence on that long hiatus. I made many terrible mistakes since returning to YouTube and I have no problem owning up to them. Even though I wish I could, I can't go back in time and do things the right way. I just feel terrible about it all. If I made you upset in any way with my lack of communication, my unintentional snarky tone of voice in recent videos, or otherwise, then please read on. That's what this wall post is all about.
First of all, I'm sorry. In hindsight, after the long hiatus, I should have immediately jumped on camera and explained everything, ending with the good news in order to celebrate a big happy reunion. I should have talked about what happened and why I had to go away for so long. I should have also thanked all the donators for getting me out of hurricane's way. It would've been bad, bad news without that support, so I am very grateful (Thank you, if you're reading this - I'll mention you in a video soon), but what did I do with my grand triumphant return to YouTube? I said nothing and just started releasing videos again. I could tell from the comments a lot of you were seriously confused by my sense of humor and demeanor; weren't sure if I was being condescending by what I was saying or if there was some hidden, deeper meaning. Because of my piss-poor entrance back to YouTube, then my continued unintentional tone and blunt criticism, coupled with my lack of communication with my subscribers and friends (you). I was literally destroying our relationship along with my channel.
I was misunderstood, but for that, I'm to blame. I wasn't relatable in my recent videos because I didn't communicate my actual feelings. I was trying too hard to stick with the facts and be --as objective as possible!-- Fact is, I was socially withdrawn. I didn't even go outside. I became a recluse. I didn't want to be seen, so I refused to go on camera. It felt like I was only getting worse and I honestly didn't know what I was doing wrong, but I knew something was wrong. But, what...? I felt like I was dazed and nothing was making sense. But just the miracle I needed came from joining a friend's Silent Hill 3 livestream completely on impulse (well, I was lonely, feeling hated, and had downed a few drinks to boot). Without even realizing it, I was in a deep depression. It started with a break-up a few years back that I had a really hard time coming to terms with. It just grew and festered and got worse until after just one night with a good friend. Crazy how a depression can leave you just like that, not to mention not even knowing you were depressed until you start thinking back on it.
The next day I woke up feeling like a new person, the old me. The brain fog was gone and I could think clearly again. Unfortunately, after that, all I could think about were my many mistakes - a chain of them, one right after another. In so many ways, I neglected you all, my YT friends, and I am sorry for that. Honestly, the depression had me completely blind to everything up until recent. And all I want to do now is work hard in order to mend and salvage what relationship we may still have. Hopefully once we're on the same page, after reading this or after watching my next video, I'll earn some trust again by being consistent, reliable, honest, punctual and fun. I know many of you guys are very bitter at me. If you were actually affected by my attitude in recent videos, my neglect, lack of communication, and/or inability to keep promises with my content, this wall post is definitely for you.
Just in case you missed it, I wrote an open Facebook letter to fans, friends, and/or subscribers like you in hopes of clearing things up before I get to the actual video update. And, no, I'm not begging for hand-outs in it at all. In fact, I'm begging for forgiveness, but I don't expect it right away. [www.facebook.com/notes/fungo/streams-transparency-… With a better understanding of my situation after reading this we'll be one step closer to being "pals" again, but I don't expect everyone to forgive me. Communication like this wall post is very important either way. I've been so busy with Twitch streams lately, I haven't found time to finish this channel update, which will go into even more detail. I will be working on it all day tomorrow, though. It's important that I finish it soon.
Thanks for your time and it means a lot to me that you read all this. At least you know I am trying. You know, while you are waiting, feel free to jump into my livestreams on Twitch to chat with me, make new friends, and have fun. [www.twitch.tv/dustfungo] I've made amends with a few other subscribers who have done just that.
Not the livestream type? Join my Discord server [discordapp.com/invite/vDwNsvk] to chat with any number of the nice and silly people there, myself included. Like I said at the beginning, on Thursday and Friday I'm going to be streaming Silent Hill, one of my favorite games and the game that nudged me into being a content creator. It makes sense, though. If you want to go back to your roots, you should go back to your roots. Good luck to you all -- and look forward to more content!
Your friend forever,
Fungo
---
6 years ago (edited) | [YT] | 208