Im sorry for making you all read a bunch of words again...before i say anything, i need to say:
Thank you 💜 I was expecting 1 or 2 people to reach out at MAX, but the amount of messages and nice words that i got was insane. From my close friends, friends i haven't talked to in a while, my mutuals, my community, friends of my community, people i was expecting and people i never thought would actually reach out...so many of you reached out, and im so thankful. Some of you have not felt how i do rn, and still reached out. Some of you are going through the same feelings, and some of you already went through them. Knowing that made me feel understood, and that i am not the only one going through it, and that im not "weird", which I've felt for so long... I hope that one day i can repay the kindness and time spent reading and sending me these messages, or just a like on my insta story, even just that made me feel like you care, something that i genuinely thought you guys didn't.
Now, unto the decision i took... it's not an easy decision, it pains me to have to take it, don't worry, its not something awful, but the decision I've taken is: I will take a break from YouTube, for an indefinite amount of time.
This pains me for so many reasons. I dont want to leave you guys alone, i fear that you will find someone else in the time im gone, and realize you actually dont miss me and watching my streams was just a part of your routine. Im terrified, because now i wont have that very small amount of money earnings for who knows how long...but i think that i really should do this and i feel like I've been needing this for a long while. Im sorry im letting you guys down, and alone.
What am i going to do while im not streaming? Am i just going to do EVEN LESS than what i was already doing? Funny enough, the answe is "I hope not". I plan on taking a step back, re-evaluating everything, what makes people like my content, what I've been doing wrong or not paying enough attention to, because im ngl, I've been conformed by my mediocrity, by doing the least i could, not having a schedule, not editing videos, not Uploading, and just playing whatever types of games, being un-original and not bringing anything to the table, im tired of that. I know i have so much potential. Can you believe I've never DJ-ed or played the drums on the 3 years ive been on YouTube? That is not okay. God has given me so many talents that im not using, and that is not okay.
I will do research, try new things, find something that makes me hungry, hungry to create the best i can, hungry to push myself harder, hungry to eat the entire world alive and be the person God planned me to be. I know i can do so much more, and that's why i need some time. Time to find myself, time to heal and become a better person, creatively, personally, in every aspect. I wont come back until I'm better...which is very scary...
I dont think you know this, but in the 1st of December of this year (2025), my first song ever released, Lemonade Party, will turn 5 years old of being released, which is crazy. If everything goes as planned, we have some very exciting surprises for you at the end of the year, and i want to be in the best place possible, personally and mentally, to give these surprises to you guys.
I won't stop streaming forever, dont worry, i just need a little time, im sorry for going away, I'm sorry for leaving you alone, hopefully I'll come back better, and hopefully i will finally be funny, who knows. How long will this take? I dont know, hopefully not too long so you guys end up forgetting me.
I wont be totally gone tho! I'm thinking on updating you guys once a week (dont quote me on that heh), telling you guys what I've been working on and fixing YouTube-wise and Personally-wise. I'll be sending these weekly updates on my Discord Server, YouTube Posts, Twitter, and ofc, Instagram. I'll also be active over on Discord, Twitter and Insta, posting insta stories and talking to you guys on discord!
As part of my improvement plan, i...plan...on making and then sending you guys a google forms, asking for feedback about my content, to see what i need to work on and change, i hope you guys fill it, the more the better!
And lastly, the Lani Stream. I wish i was announcing this with a happier overall message, but sadly i cant postpone this stream...cuz lani wont be here in Costa Rica forever. This will be the last stream I'll do for a while. We will be checking my closet, and you guys (chat) and Lani (and pixel, but they haven't confirmed) will be choosing what i keep and what i donate. This stream will be in person, on my Stream Room, hopefully you guys like it and have fun!
Again, im so sorry im taking this decision, and thank every single one of you who liked, read, and sent a message. If i never come back (which is very unlikely), i want you guys to know that you are the best community I've ever wanted hoped to have, I can't explain how important every single one of you are to me, and how much i love you guys (as a community ofc). Thank you for your support, please don't forget me, I'll be back soon 💜
Joxe1
Im sorry for making you all read a bunch of words again...before i say anything, i need to say:
Thank you 💜
I was expecting 1 or 2 people to reach out at MAX, but the amount of messages and nice words that i got was insane. From my close friends, friends i haven't talked to in a while, my mutuals, my community, friends of my community, people i was expecting and people i never thought would actually reach out...so many of you reached out, and im so thankful. Some of you have not felt how i do rn, and still reached out. Some of you are going through the same feelings, and some of you already went through them. Knowing that made me feel understood, and that i am not the only one going through it, and that im not "weird", which I've felt for so long...
I hope that one day i can repay the kindness and time spent reading and sending me these messages, or just a like on my insta story, even just that made me feel like you care, something that i genuinely thought you guys didn't.
Now, unto the decision i took... it's not an easy decision, it pains me to have to take it, don't worry, its not something awful, but the decision I've taken is: I will take a break from YouTube, for an indefinite amount of time.
This pains me for so many reasons. I dont want to leave you guys alone, i fear that you will find someone else in the time im gone, and realize you actually dont miss me and watching my streams was just a part of your routine. Im terrified, because now i wont have that very small amount of money earnings for who knows how long...but i think that i really should do this and i feel like I've been needing this for a long while. Im sorry im letting you guys down, and alone.
What am i going to do while im not streaming? Am i just going to do EVEN LESS than what i was already doing? Funny enough, the answe is "I hope not".
I plan on taking a step back, re-evaluating everything, what makes people like my content, what I've been doing wrong or not paying enough attention to, because im ngl, I've been conformed by my mediocrity, by doing the least i could, not having a schedule, not editing videos, not Uploading, and just playing whatever types of games, being un-original and not bringing anything to the table, im tired of that. I know i have so much potential. Can you believe I've never DJ-ed or played the drums on the 3 years ive been on YouTube? That is not okay. God has given me so many talents that im not using, and that is not okay.
I will do research, try new things, find something that makes me hungry, hungry to create the best i can, hungry to push myself harder, hungry to eat the entire world alive and be the person God planned me to be. I know i can do so much more, and that's why i need some time. Time to find myself, time to heal and become a better person, creatively, personally, in every aspect. I wont come back until I'm better...which is very scary...
I dont think you know this, but in the 1st of December of this year (2025), my first song ever released, Lemonade Party, will turn 5 years old of being released, which is crazy.
If everything goes as planned, we have some very exciting surprises for you at the end of the year, and i want to be in the best place possible, personally and mentally, to give these surprises to you guys.
I won't stop streaming forever, dont worry, i just need a little time, im sorry for going away, I'm sorry for leaving you alone, hopefully I'll come back better, and hopefully i will finally be funny, who knows.
How long will this take? I dont know, hopefully not too long so you guys end up forgetting me.
I wont be totally gone tho! I'm thinking on updating you guys once a week (dont quote me on that heh), telling you guys what I've been working on and fixing YouTube-wise and Personally-wise.
I'll be sending these weekly updates on my Discord Server, YouTube Posts, Twitter, and ofc, Instagram.
I'll also be active over on Discord, Twitter and Insta, posting insta stories and talking to you guys on discord!
As part of my improvement plan, i...plan...on making and then sending you guys a google forms, asking for feedback about my content, to see what i need to work on and change, i hope you guys fill it, the more the better!
And lastly, the Lani Stream. I wish i was announcing this with a happier overall message, but sadly i cant postpone this stream...cuz lani wont be here in Costa Rica forever.
This will be the last stream I'll do for a while. We will be checking my closet, and you guys (chat) and Lani (and pixel, but they haven't confirmed) will be choosing what i keep and what i donate. This stream will be in person, on my Stream Room, hopefully you guys like it and have fun!
Again, im so sorry im taking this decision, and thank every single one of you who liked, read, and sent a message.
If i never come back (which is very unlikely), i want you guys to know that you are the best community I've ever wanted hoped to have, I can't explain how important every single one of you are to me, and how much i love you guys (as a community ofc).
Thank you for your support, please don't forget me, I'll be back soon 💜
3 months ago | [YT] | 9