He'll never afford a super yacht on seven figures! All the wealthier CEOs at the club probably make him sit with the other seven-figure losers. What have we become as a society?
4 days ago | 4,500
Poor guy was forced to lay off 700 people just to keep his annual bonus. 😭
4 days ago | 2,800
I feel bad for him, but he's just going to have to pull himself up by his bootstraps and get a second job.
4 days ago | 1,600
He could complain to the board but all they’ll do is make it a dead end 8 figure job
4 days ago | 1,700
Poor sap can only vacation in Hawaii for a month while billionaires get to hunt humans for sport on private islands. No fair, bruh!
4 days ago | 475
I recently saw a CEO at a soup kitchen. He WAS talking with an architect and builder about knocking it down to build luxury condos- but he WAS at a soup kitchen.
4 days ago | 1,100
God gives his hardest fights to his best CEOs 😭
4 days ago | 872
Fun anecdote I tell every time I can: during the pandemic, the C-suite execs at my job took a 20% pay cut “in solidarity” of all the layoffs they did… and then they all got record bonuses for “navigating the pandemic”
4 days ago | 431
He got so depressed he tried to jump out the 87th floor window but was devastated when his golden parachute landed him softly
4 days ago | 324
Let’s hope he has some inheritance on the way. Can’t stand seeing working class men like him being stuck on such an inhumane income.
4 days ago | 313
I remember my CEO telling me he was worried he wouldn't be able to afford retirement. His ... modest salary (8yrs before I was hired) was 10x what I was paid at that time he said that. I couldn't relate...
4 days ago | 111
As a 8 figure CEO, I can attest that this man lives a miserable life. I bet he only has 2 vacation homes, and he can’t even scrounge enough money to bribe a lower federal court. If I could still cry, I would weep for him.
4 days ago (edited) | 48
God, and the only way to leave is if he tanks the company, get paid millions to do so and then immediately gets hired at the next company. I send my thoughts and prayers champ, hold in there.
4 days ago | 62
Don't be sorry for him! His salary is almost enough to afford an egg!
4 days ago (edited) | 60
I commend the onion for somehow continuing to make satire in a world that's beyond it.
4 days ago | 14
Imagine their struggle to buy Louis Vuitton purse for their 5th lover, we all can relate.
4 days ago (edited) | 49
Sadly, the otherwise generous benefits package didn’t include a soul.
4 days ago | 42
The Onion
Frustrated CEO Stuck In Dead-End 7-Figure Job
Read Full Story: theonion.com/frustrated-ceo-stuck-in-dead-end-7-fi…
4 days ago | [YT] | 46,289