This is one of the things that comes up for almost all of my clients, and I hear it from so many of you too.
So I thought I would share something that has come up for me personally recently.
Because of circumstances, there is someone I have to deal with who I'll describe as at least mildly toxic.
They play the victim, blame shift, and gossip maliciously.
Like many of you, I've been frustrated and even tempted to just give up and walk away.
But then I was like, you're Jennifer Brick. An expert dealing with toxic people.
So here is what I did inseat:
1. Evaluate the situation and stakes
This is the most important step, yet it's one that many people overlook.
If you don't have a clear understanding of the situation, know the stakes, and comprehend alliances and risks, you're setting yourself up to fail.
In this case, I assessed the risk as low, gained power by being clear on the stakes (theirs and mine), and chose the right approach.
You *must* do this math, calculate risks and costs, and navigate your unique situation.
2. Be prepared to be disliked.
Honestly, I was feeling vibed out of so many situations.
And while I'm salty and certainly not conflict-avoidant, I don't like to make a scene.
The thing is: letting the toxic person get away with it didn't stop the scene.
The only difference was in one scenario, their comfort was the priority, and in the other, mine was.
I started choosing mine.
Before this shift, the toxic person probably didn't mind me.
But now? It's no secret they detest me.
3. Don't underestimate others
As I mentioned, the toxic person loves to gossip.
I knew as soon as I made this shift, they would be running their mouth to anyone who would listen.
Who knows, perhaps they're on Reddit talking about me right now.
But whether people like me or not... is none of my business.
Regardless of what you do, some people will like you, while others won't.
So I took the risk.
This was also a great reminder to me (and hopefully now to you) of one simple fact:
You're not the only one who is bothered by the toxic person.
When you disrupt their pattern, whether it's by changing topics, walking away, or calling them out, others will notice and be grateful to see the toxic person being held accountable.
So many top-liked comments on my videos are about toxic people being held accountable for this very reason.
Now, it's easy for me to share this and use my expertise personally.
It's a whole other to figure it out.
If you want to dive into how to work with toxic people I get into the weeds in this video https://youtu.be/HfI96thg1yk
Jennifer Brick
Stop making toxic people comfortable.
This is one of the things that comes up for almost all of my clients, and I hear it from so many of you too.
So I thought I would share something that has come up for me personally recently.
Because of circumstances, there is someone I have to deal with who I'll describe as at least mildly toxic.
They play the victim, blame shift, and gossip maliciously.
Like many of you, I've been frustrated and even tempted to just give up and walk away.
But then I was like, you're Jennifer Brick. An expert dealing with toxic people.
So here is what I did inseat:
1. Evaluate the situation and stakes
This is the most important step, yet it's one that many people overlook.
If you don't have a clear understanding of the situation, know the stakes, and comprehend alliances and risks, you're setting yourself up to fail.
In this case, I assessed the risk as low, gained power by being clear on the stakes (theirs and mine), and chose the right approach.
You *must* do this math, calculate risks and costs, and navigate your unique situation.
2. Be prepared to be disliked.
Honestly, I was feeling vibed out of so many situations.
And while I'm salty and certainly not conflict-avoidant, I don't like to make a scene.
The thing is: letting the toxic person get away with it didn't stop the scene.
The only difference was in one scenario, their comfort was the priority, and in the other, mine was.
I started choosing mine.
Before this shift, the toxic person probably didn't mind me.
But now? It's no secret they detest me.
3. Don't underestimate others
As I mentioned, the toxic person loves to gossip.
I knew as soon as I made this shift, they would be running their mouth to anyone who would listen.
Who knows, perhaps they're on Reddit talking about me right now.
But whether people like me or not... is none of my business.
Regardless of what you do, some people will like you, while others won't.
So I took the risk.
This was also a great reminder to me (and hopefully now to you) of one simple fact:
You're not the only one who is bothered by the toxic person.
When you disrupt their pattern, whether it's by changing topics, walking away, or calling them out, others will notice and be grateful to see the toxic person being held accountable.
So many top-liked comments on my videos are about toxic people being held accountable for this very reason.
Now, it's easy for me to share this and use my expertise personally.
It's a whole other to figure it out.
If you want to dive into how to work with toxic people I get into the weeds in this video https://youtu.be/HfI96thg1yk
2 months ago | [YT] | 108