It’s a simple question. But for those of us with layered identities, it can feel like an essay.
In London, I’d get asked because even though I have a British accent, I don’t “look” English.
In Kurdistan, I look like I belong, but my broken mother tongue or mannerisms give me away.
In the US, it’s the accent. People guess South African, Australian as well as British.
And when I say I’m British, I often see a pause. A flicker of curiosity behind the eyes. Because I don’t look it.
So I say, “I was born in Kurdistan, raised in London.” That’s when I get the “Ahh, it makes sense” nod or response.
I don’t mind being asked. I love connection. But the conversation of immigration and integration is layered with nuance.
I’m from Kurdistan, where the mountains sing and the bazaars pulse with scent. From London, where shepherd’s pie and sarcasm shaped my humor. From the US, where I hustled on the East Coast and learned to slow down in the Deep South.
But here’s the truth. As an immigrant child, I constantly adapted to fit in. I code-switched without even realizing it. I succeeded by blending.
I made it by shrinking parts of me because survival was my basic primal instinct in a new land. I still remember learning English at the age of 6 when I entered the UK as a refugee and those instincts were there well into adulthood…
When I started unlearning.
Assimilation helped me survive. Alignment helps me thrive.
I belong where I feel I do. And I’ve created my own blend of culture, shaped by lived experience.
Reclaiming my roots is part of my leadership. Cultural fluency is not something to hide, it’s a powerful form of currency.
I stopped asking for permission to blend business, culture, and identity in how I lead.
In a world asking for new ways of leading, it’s the bridges who rise.
Identity isn’t just about where you’re from. It’s also about who you believe you’re allowed to become. You can live in your native land, Speak the language, Know the customs, And still feel like something in you doesn’t fit the mold of what’s expected.
Because sometimes, the real unlearning is internal. If you want to dive into identity work to transform and level up to the next level of your career, health or personal goals - email me:
Lena Kay
Where are you from?
It’s a simple question. But for those of us with layered identities, it can feel like an essay.
In London, I’d get asked because even though I have a British accent, I don’t “look” English.
In Kurdistan, I look like I belong, but my broken mother tongue or mannerisms give me away.
In the US, it’s the accent. People guess South African, Australian as well as British.
And when I say I’m British, I often see a pause. A flicker of curiosity behind the eyes.
Because I don’t look it.
So I say, “I was born in Kurdistan, raised in London.”
That’s when I get the “Ahh, it makes sense” nod or response.
I don’t mind being asked. I love connection. But the conversation of immigration and integration is layered with nuance.
I’m from Kurdistan, where the mountains sing and the bazaars pulse with scent.
From London, where shepherd’s pie and sarcasm shaped my humor.
From the US, where I hustled on the East Coast and learned to slow down in the Deep South.
But here’s the truth.
As an immigrant child, I constantly adapted to fit in.
I code-switched without even realizing it.
I succeeded by blending.
I made it by shrinking parts of me because survival was my basic primal instinct in a new land. I still remember learning English at the age of 6 when I entered the UK as a refugee and those instincts were there well into adulthood…
When I started unlearning.
Assimilation helped me survive.
Alignment helps me thrive.
I belong where I feel I do.
And I’ve created my own blend of culture, shaped by lived experience.
Reclaiming my roots is part of my leadership.
Cultural fluency is not something to hide, it’s a powerful form of currency.
I stopped asking for permission to blend business, culture, and identity in how I lead.
In a world asking for new ways of leading, it’s the bridges who rise.
Identity isn’t just about where you’re from. It’s also about who you believe you’re allowed to become.
You can live in your native land,
Speak the language,
Know the customs,
And still feel like something in you doesn’t fit the mold of what’s expected.
Because sometimes, the real unlearning is internal.
If you want to dive into identity work to transform and level up to the next level of your career, health or personal goals - email me:
hi@lenakay.com
Just put subject line: Identity
5 months ago | [YT] | 5