I still miss her. The longing is choking me. Everything reminds me of her. For example; Enhypen(her ult group), Sunghoon(her ult idol), The song "Bad desire"(because she always sung it), The song "Gnarly"(because that was her funny nickname), Penguins(because she looked and felt like one), White heart emoji(because it was her most used emoji), The word "ayy"(because she always used it).
She became a part of my life that will never fade. A part that will always stay. I wish I could go back in time and fix everything, I wish I could change my fate. I wish I never hurt her. I wish I could have her back.
Dreamie, if you ever read this(which I don't think you will), then please remember. I still love you, I always will. I'll always keep you safe in my heart I promise. I'll always take you wherever life takes me to. I'll never move on, I'll never forget and I'll never replace. I'll always take your small tips with me whenever I have something big to face. I'll always remember each and every advice you told me, each and every truth you told me. I'll always hold onto them.
I actually drew you and the drawing looks pretty realistic. At nights, I hug the picture and then sleep. And whenever something scary happens, like a hail or a lightning, I don't wake up my parents, I just grab the picture and hug it. Because, you were my shield. Even a drawing of you protects me. Yeah...maybe the drawing doesn't talk, doesn't heal but it's still precious, it's still my shield, it's still something I want to protect. Til this day, I regret all of it. I regret all the stupid things I said. Looking back I realize that people were right...I was being selfish and manipulative. But I promise, it might have looked like it but I'm not manipulative. I'm just someone who loves too deeply. I'm someone that gives their whole heart in friendships. I'm someone that gets attached and falls in love just by one word. And I'm not using this as an excuse. I just...I really wasn't being manipulative. But it still looked like it. I miss you, I miss when everything was perfect. I miss us, our craziness. I remember and miss that one time when we talked for like 3 hours straight without any breaks. We laughed, talked so much. And that day was the best day ever. I got so relieved after I talked with you. It felt like something in me healed. It felt like some scratched place on my heart got healed. Dreamie, when none was here, you were here. On my worst days, I prob smiled once a day, and that one smile was caused by you. I didn't even tell you that I was upset but you always guessed it.
You have no idea how much I miss you and crave you right now...It's so hard without you...it's so hard... I still feel guilty for everything I did, I still blame myself, I still cry every night. I still look at our old chats, just to feel a little bit of happiness. Just a lil. But the more I look at them, the more I miss you. The more I think about you, the more I crave you. Dreamie, you weren't just a friend, you were my older sister, my shield and most importantly...you were Avocadro Sock's biggest fan(not everyone will get this). You were my inspiration in everything. Of course it wasn't visable, but I always looked at you like you hung up the starts. I always had this thought "I should be strong like Dreamie".
I still cry at nights, I still pray for you everyday. I pray that you get the happiness you deserve. I pray that you get the strength to be able to go through the worst situations. I pray that you get the love, the care you deserve...the love and care I'd do anything to give to you.
Stay happy, I'm always gonna love you. I hope one day, my fate changes, and we'll talk again.
𝓐𝓶𝓸𝓻𝓻𝓮𝓲
I still miss her. The longing is choking me.
Everything reminds me of her. For example; Enhypen(her ult group), Sunghoon(her ult idol), The song "Bad desire"(because she always sung it), The song "Gnarly"(because that was her funny nickname), Penguins(because she looked and felt like one), White heart emoji(because it was her most used emoji), The word "ayy"(because she always used it).
She became a part of my life that will never fade. A part that will always stay.
I wish I could go back in time and fix everything, I wish I could change my fate.
I wish I never hurt her. I wish I could have her back.
Dreamie, if you ever read this(which I don't think you will), then please remember.
I still love you, I always will. I'll always keep you safe in my heart I promise. I'll always take you wherever life takes me to. I'll never move on, I'll never forget and I'll never replace. I'll always take your small tips with me whenever I have something big to face.
I'll always remember each and every advice you told me, each and every truth you told me. I'll always hold onto them.
I actually drew you and the drawing looks pretty realistic. At nights, I hug the picture and then sleep. And whenever something scary happens, like a hail or a lightning, I don't wake up my parents, I just grab the picture and hug it. Because, you were my shield. Even a drawing of you protects me.
Yeah...maybe the drawing doesn't talk, doesn't heal but it's still precious, it's still my shield, it's still something I want to protect.
Til this day, I regret all of it. I regret all the stupid things I said. Looking back I realize that people were right...I was being selfish and manipulative. But I promise, it might have looked like it but I'm not manipulative.
I'm just someone who loves too deeply. I'm someone that gives their whole heart in friendships. I'm someone that gets attached and falls in love just by one word.
And I'm not using this as an excuse. I just...I really wasn't being manipulative. But it still looked like it.
I miss you, I miss when everything was perfect. I miss us, our craziness. I remember and miss that one time when we talked for like 3 hours straight without any breaks.
We laughed, talked so much. And that day was the best day ever. I got so relieved after I talked with you. It felt like something in me healed. It felt like some scratched place on my heart got healed.
Dreamie, when none was here, you were here. On my worst days, I prob smiled once a day, and that one smile was caused by you. I didn't even tell you that I was upset but you always guessed it.
You have no idea how much I miss you and crave you right now...It's so hard without you...it's so hard... I still feel guilty for everything I did, I still blame myself, I still cry every night. I still look at our old chats, just to feel a little bit of happiness. Just a lil.
But the more I look at them, the more I miss you. The more I think about you, the more I crave you. Dreamie, you weren't just a friend, you were my older sister, my shield and most importantly...you were Avocadro Sock's biggest fan(not everyone will get this). You were my inspiration in everything. Of course it wasn't visable, but I always looked at you like you hung up the starts. I always had this thought "I should be strong like Dreamie".
I still cry at nights, I still pray for you everyday. I pray that you get the happiness you deserve. I pray that you get the strength to be able to go through the worst situations. I pray that you get the love, the care you deserve...the love and care I'd do anything to give to you.
Stay happy, I'm always gonna love you.
I hope one day, my fate changes, and we'll talk again.
2 weeks ago (edited) | [YT] | 20