Might be shocking but I wrote this in September, I just didn't know when to post it.
2 weeks ago | 3
You're genuinely so pure and innocent i love you so fckin much if smn wrote this for me after i didn't wanna talk to them i'd cry no but srsly š
2 weeks ago
| 3
you're genuinely so sweet omg š every word is filled with emotion and emotion , srsly , everyone is so luck to have you š¤ im so sorry for your loss . . . but always remember , we are forever with you ā” - sa
2 weeks ago
| 2
Listen lia, Iāve read everything you wrote, and honestly, my heart hurts for you... firstly take a deep breath...relax...and now listen calmly...I know exactly how it feels to miss someone so much it hurts every single day. I've also experienced the feeling of losing a best friend...It was one of the hardest things Iāve ever gone through...for years, I have also blamed myself, cried myself to sleep, and felt like I was drowning in guilt and pain. I felt stuck. Like I was trapped in that moment and couldnāt move on. I thought maybe I was just too weak to let go. And I get it, that feeling of wanting to fix everything, go back in time, and change the past. Iāve been there. I really have...and I can totally understand you and your pain. But hereās what I learned...over time, and it didnāt come easy...missing someone and grieving doesnāt mean you lose yourself. Itās okay to cry, itās okay to remember, but itās also okay to start living your life again, even if it feels impossible now. Dreamie wouldnāt want you to keep punishing yourself or to feel like your own thoughts might hurt her. Loving someone means wanting to be free and happy yourself. She was your shield, your safe place, your inspiration...and that same strength lives inside you, even when it feels buried. I know you blame yourself for pushing her away or being too much, but honestly, thatās something we all do sometimes when weāre scared or hurting...right?? It doesnāt make you a bad friend or a bad person. It makes you human...a pure hearted human...And the fact that you loved her so deeply, with all your heart, shows how strong you really are...even if you donāt feel it yet. Also, I want to say something about the words you get from some ppl...I see some ppl tell you how much your words sounded so painful...thatās kind and meant to comfort you, but sometimes, instead of helping you heal, it just adds to the weight youāre already carrying... I'm not calling out anyone...but I've noticed some...Itās like holding up your pain and saying, āStay here.ā But healing is about gently stepping forward, even when itās scary or impossible...Itās about finding hope again, not just keeping the sadness alive. I really I want you to know youāre not alone, and that you donāt have to carry all this guilt and sadness forever. Youāre kind, youāre strong, and you deserve to heal lia! Iām here for you always. Please donāt rush yourself, but please donāt lose yourself either. You are more than your pain...I believe in you. And when youāre ready, I hope youāll let yourself breathe again. You deserve peace and happiness, just like Dreamie would want for you. Also lil sis, (I hope you don't mind me calling you that)...I want to share with you what helped me start to heal...not because I have all the answers, but because sometimes knowing how to heal feels like the hardest part. Healing isnāt about forgetting or pretending the pain isnāt there. Itās about learning how to live with the pain without letting it control you. Itās about making space for your grief and your life to exist together. At first, it feels like those two things canāt fit in the same heart, but they can. It just takes time. Hereās what I want you to try, when you feel ready: Allow yourself to feel...without judgment. Cry when you need to...Feel angry, lost, or scared. Your feelings are valid. Donāt push them away or tell yourself you shouldnāt feel them. But also notice when those feelings start to overwhelm you, and gently remind yourself: āThis feeling is temporary. It will pass.ā Create small, gentle routines that bring you peace. It could be something simple...writing down one memory that makes you smile, listening to music that soothes you, taking a walk outside, or just breathing deeply for a few minutes. These small acts of kindness toward yourself plant seeds of healing... prioritize your peace, your mental health, yourself first! Love yourself, embrace yourself, be kind and gentle towards yourself, allow yourself to feel, to heal, to cry, to smile, to laugh, do what you love, but never ever blame yourself again...never ever judge or guess your own worth, never ever pressurise yourself, never ever hurt/harm yourself...Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love. When you feel that heavy guilt or self-blame, catch those thoughts and say, āItās okay. You did your best. You are learning. You are growing.ā It sounds simple, but self-compassion is powerful medicine. Accept things with your whole heart. Let that sink but don't let that swallow you. There's a difference....Reach out when you feel ready. You donāt have to carry this alone. Whether itās a close friend, a family member...sharing your feelings helps a lot..Sometimes, just saying your pain out loud makes it less scary...even I'm here whenever you need! Give yourself permission to find joy again. Itās not betrayal to smile, laugh, or enjoy life. Dreamie wouldnāt want you to live in constant sadness. Letting yourself be happy is part of honoring her memory. Lia...forgive yourself...slowly, patiently. We all have regrets, but forgiveness is the key that frees you...You deserve to forgive yourself, even if it takes time. Know that healing isnāt linear. Some days will feel better, and some will feel worse. Thatās okay. Itās part of the process. Be gentle with yourself when you stumble. Most importantly, remember that your worth is not tied to what happened or what you think you did wrong. You are worthy of love, happiness, and peace, exactly as you are...hurting and healing both. Iām sending you all the love and strength you need for this...Healing isnāt forgetting...itās growing into a new version of yourself, with your friendās memory living softly inside your heart, guiding you but not holding you back. Take it one breath, one day, one small step at a time. You are not alone. Iām 17...probably a little older than you...and honestly, Iām still figuring things out too. Iām not perfect, and I might not be as mature as I want to be, but Iām always here for you. Iām trying my best to help, and whenever you need someone to listen or just be there, you can count on me. You donāt have to go through this alone. š - Rem
2 weeks ago (edited)
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The words-....each word filled with emotion..l...actually hit my heart.... Gurl, whoever left you seriously lost a dimond
2 weeks ago
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Uhmm you're sad of ur loss. Hey bae listen, god has plans for everyone ig u believe in god. Seems like you were really really attached to her and miss her so much, but just know that it's not your fault at all. U're not to be blamed. It might just have been they they prolly misunderstood u is come context and then u also misunderstood them, misunderstandings are rly rly common if ur online frnds(i assume u were). In such cases no one is particularly at fault, they just perceive things from their perspective and when the perception clashes, misunderstanding come. So u can't blame urself for that, u both must have been right at ur places. U're such an adorable person, and u deeply think of others, u get attached so deeply and are loyal. U're literally the biggest green flag i know. So yes you can't blame urself for that. Ik i miss her, but god always has his own plan, so he must have seperated u both for some time, becuz he must have a plan to make ur misunderstandings clear and give your friendship ur own fresh start. Believe in god, he has plans for you.
2 weeks ago (edited)
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Idk what happened between her or you but why don't u try reaching out to her maybe apologise
2 weeks ago
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I still miss her. The longing is choking me.
Everything reminds me of her. For example; Enhypen(her ult group), Sunghoon(her ult idol), The song "Bad desire"(because she always sung it), The song "Gnarly"(because that was her funny nickname), Penguins(because she looked and felt like one), White heart emoji(because it was her most used emoji), The word "ayy"(because she always used it).
She became a part of my life that will never fade. A part that will always stay.
I wish I could go back in time and fix everything, I wish I could change my fate.
I wish I never hurt her. I wish I could have her back.
Dreamie, if you ever read this(which I don't think you will), then please remember.
I still love you, I always will. I'll always keep you safe in my heart I promise. I'll always take you wherever life takes me to. I'll never move on, I'll never forget and I'll never replace. I'll always take your small tips with me whenever I have something big to face.
I'll always remember each and every advice you told me, each and every truth you told me. I'll always hold onto them.
I actually drew you and the drawing looks pretty realistic. At nights, I hug the picture and then sleep. And whenever something scary happens, like a hail or a lightning, I don't wake up my parents, I just grab the picture and hug it. Because, you were my shield. Even a drawing of you protects me.
Yeah...maybe the drawing doesn't talk, doesn't heal but it's still precious, it's still my shield, it's still something I want to protect.
Til this day, I regret all of it. I regret all the stupid things I said. Looking back I realize that people were right...I was being selfish and manipulative. But I promise, it might have looked like it but I'm not manipulative.
I'm just someone who loves too deeply. I'm someone that gives their whole heart in friendships. I'm someone that gets attached and falls in love just by one word.
And I'm not using this as an excuse. I just...I really wasn't being manipulative. But it still looked like it.
I miss you, I miss when everything was perfect. I miss us, our craziness. I remember and miss that one time when we talked for like 3 hours straight without any breaks.
We laughed, talked so much. And that day was the best day ever. I got so relieved after I talked with you. It felt like something in me healed. It felt like some scratched place on my heart got healed.
Dreamie, when none was here, you were here. On my worst days, I prob smiled once a day, and that one smile was caused by you. I didn't even tell you that I was upset but you always guessed it.
You have no idea how much I miss you and crave you right now...It's so hard without you...it's so hard... I still feel guilty for everything I did, I still blame myself, I still cry every night. I still look at our old chats, just to feel a little bit of happiness. Just a lil.
But the more I look at them, the more I miss you. The more I think about you, the more I crave you. Dreamie, you weren't just a friend, you were my older sister, my shield and most importantly...you were Avocadro Sock's biggest fan(not everyone will get this). You were my inspiration in everything. Of course it wasn't visable, but I always looked at you like you hung up the starts. I always had this thought "I should be strong like Dreamie".
I still cry at nights, I still pray for you everyday. I pray that you get the happiness you deserve. I pray that you get the strength to be able to go through the worst situations. I pray that you get the love, the care you deserve...the love and care I'd do anything to give to you.
Stay happy, I'm always gonna love you.
I hope one day, my fate changes, and we'll talk again.
2 weeks ago (edited) | [YT] | 20