I feel more like a chameleon. Theres nobody to trust. I only let go of my mask and become the real me when I'm by myself because that's the only time I feel the safest.
1 week ago | 15
I had worn a mask for many years even thinking that it was my superpower. No one could see inside, I was able to control that. Little by little I am learning and allowing myself to be seen and to be real. I was able to ask some friend to hold me accountable when they see I’m starting to go behind another mask.
1 week ago (edited) | 6
I’ve tried in the past to wear a mask to protect myself, to be accepted, to fit in, to be liked etc… but it always left me feeling uncomfortable, like I was hiding something, and I hate that feeling so it’s never lasted very long, I don’t even like wearing makeup for the same reason. I like me just the way I am and I’d rather be open, honest and authentic. 🥰
1 week ago | 5
You can only be comfortable being yourself around safe people if you figure out your family is unsafe or only half safe being yourself usually goes out the window
1 week ago | 4
I mask a lot, feeling safe in my body is my primary goal. I share more with those who are close to me. 🙏🏼🌺 Ps: watch out 🚩 for spam comments @TlmFletcher (it’s an ‘L’ where the ‘i’ should be with whatsapp number. Pls report
1 week ago (edited) | 5
Find safe people. Distancing from unaafe people. It's hard but healing.
1 week ago | 3
In my early adult life I was fathered / discipled by someone who with their family accepted me for my authentic self and encouraged my authentic self. I personally at that time was actually trying to completely disconnect with my authentic self and was at first very offended. I was even angry and felt exposed and was afraid that I would fail or that I would not be accepted or not good enough. I lived with that support and freedom for several years before I became married, unfortunately to a narcissist, from whom I am now after 21 years becoming divorced. I didn't notice it at first, but step by step My true self was either being taken advantage of and used, even exploited, or denied development. I came several times to the place where I realized that everything about me had to either be dead or I had to have the boldness to stand up and dear to live my authentic self and be my authentic self. So eventually I've come to the place where I rather embrace who I truly am and who God made me, instead of hiding and living a life that is not me... If that makes sense ...
1 week ago | 0
I am unable to work. Unable to do anything and i have no one.
1 week ago | 3
In my youth I called it shadow dancing, I am working on discovering the me beneath it all now that I am in my 50's and the family is all grown.
1 week ago | 0
Honestly, becoming a mental health, counselor boosted self-esteem so much, and finding my purpose in life made me realize that what other people thought about me wasn’t as important as what I thought about myself. Helping people and volunteerism helped me come out of my shell a lot because it made me realize that there’s all different kinds of people in the world and it’s OK to be yourself because who you are really is a gift. there’s not enough people in the world who can see things as they really are and who have a courage to show up as themselves, no matter what. Sometimes I think about how passionate and excitable I am and I feel kind of cringe and I remember that being yourself in a society where you are encouraged to be like everyone else is a blessing to yourself and those around you. I was also fortunate enough to be able to do some traveling and move across the country for a period making me realize that there’s all kinds of people in the world and I’m really not that different from other people. It doesn’t mean I don’t act like a chameleon. Sometimes I think it’s our automatic go to as people with CPTSD but if we can catch ourselves and kind of shift back into our authentic selves, then we have not abandoned ourselves at the end of the day
1 week ago | 0
My whole life has been multiple layers of trauma. I'm only myself when I'm alone. That's when I feel safe. It doesn't take much to make me feel unsafe and crawl behind my mask to hide.
1 week ago | 1
I am feeling so much better because of Tim Fletcher!!!!! He is better than any therapist I ever had!!!
1 week ago | 0
Went to a mental hospital recently - been working on my cptsd. I haven't really had words for my experience until running into you. Thank you for the videos and helping me understand. I have been in a PHP program and an IOP program. I do emdr once a week. I have been very active into fixing this to be more stable for my wife and daughter. I couldn't talk about my stuff until I was 29 years old after quitting drinking. 34 now, and all of my habits have started rearing its head and I have been behaving a lot worse. Cant trust people isolating and I haven't been well. I have been listening the last few days after being told in group therapy my experience was too triggering to share. And I actually feel like youre talking directly to me and someone understands what I am going through. Even if its alone mostly. Again, thank you for the awareness.
5 days ago | 0
Option #5 Learn at an early age to not look for acceptance & approval.
1 week ago | 1
I learned to be invisible. I learned how not to expect or ask for anything. My mask is a people pleaser, who is 100% selfless. I was the Scapegoat in an abusive, neglectful, alcoholic home. Survival became my goal. My older sister was the Golden Child. A friend once said to me, "You and your sister are so different. She expects everything and that's what she gets. And you expect nothing and that's what you get." Profound, yet painful.
1 week ago | 0
the longer i am in therapy the less sure i feel of myself. i don’t know who i am without my mask/survival response. painful
1 week ago (edited) | 0
Mask all the time. I find without my mask I am usually misunderstood by everyone - I'm either not enough or I'm too much. I still haven't really figured who I truly am or what I actually want ... just going with the flow.
1 week ago (edited) | 1
I have only recently been able to be authentic. I didn’t mind if certain people hate me but I still believe that once they see the real me, they will reject me and tell everyone what a terrible person I am.
1 week ago | 0
I think that with people that I don't know very well I try to come across as strong and capable, but with a small handful of people that I know I can trust I'm more honest about when I'm not so strong or when I just don't know anymore. I think what's key is that those vew people will still trust me to be able to be strong later if they see me at my weakest. I know that they won't change their view of me, that seeing me weak or incapable or doubting things won't change our relationship or the way they care about me.
1 week ago | 0
Tim Fletcher
For many who grew up in unsafe or unpredictable homes, wearing a mask became a form of protection.
Maybe you learned to be the strong one, the helper, or the easygoing one—whatever kept you accepted or out of trouble.
Over time, it can be hard to tell where the mask ends and the real you begins. Healing is about gently reconnecting with the self that’s been hiding underneath.
Which of these feels closest to your experience? Share in the comments what helps you feel safe enough to be more authentic.
1 week ago | [YT] | 230