Invidious

Today, while returning from Gujarat in the train, a thought crossed my mind…

What a beautiful feeling it is…
To step off a train or a plane and see someone waiting just for you.
To know there is someone whose eyes search for you in the crowd,
Someone who keeps asking for your live location, not out of control but out of care.
Someone who makes sure you’ve eaten, even on your busiest days.
Someone who sees you as beautiful, without makeup, without filters just you.
Someone who can never truly hate you, no matter what.
Someone who includes you in their life even if it’s just through a video call from the road.

And I thought… what a beautiful feeling that must be.

But as of now, that feeling isn’t a part of my life.
And strangely… I’m okay with that.

Because I’ve realised
Whether or not there’s someone to pick me up… I can walk myself home.
Whether or not someone checks my location… I can make sure I’m safe.
Whether or not someone reminds me to eat… I can nourish myself.
Whether or not someone shares their routine with me… I can fill my days with my own joys.

I am that person for myself.
And my love for myself is enough.
I don’t crave another to complete me.
I am already whole. 🌿

But still… I do appreciate those feelings
Not as something I need…
But as something I cherish when life decides to give them to me.