stands up on one knee “will you make me the happiest man ever and move out of my apartment”
23 hours ago | 1,600
"babe we've been together for 10 years now, I just think we're moving a little too fast"
1 day ago | 966
Flat out honesty is the hallmark of every successful stagnant relationship.
23 hours ago | 516
So uh... I guess it's just you and me Onion. Nobody else is here. You want a... snack? of some kind?
1 day ago | 1,800
Boyfriend considers joining male loneliness epidemic as “not so bad”.
15 hours ago | 74
Let’s take our relationship back to awkward back seat fumbling, baby.
1 day ago | 330
Sometimes there's no need to declare bankruptcy, sometimes all you need to do is downsize
23 hours ago | 52
Are the Onion writers secretly watching me? My birthday is around this time of year and last year, my ex decided the best gift to give me was confessing that he hadn't loved me in 2 years and was having an emotional affair. I demand royalties for this!
10 hours ago | 12
Nothing like going back to a regular tepid and tolerable relationship, because over the top boring and mundane just wasn’t working. Nice to see young folks can settle for a long term sentence.
23 hours ago | 45
The comments section is almost better than the onion itself 😂😂
18 hours ago | 21
The Onion
Boyfriend Ready To Take Relationship To Previous Level theonion.com/boyfriend-ready-to-take-relationship-…
1 day ago | [YT] | 16,705