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[This is nothing. Just a random post of mine. Keep scrolling.]

"Should I" .. ?
Should I give a context about whatever this is? About what's going on and what's been bugging my mind lately (that I seem to just shrug off whenever I wanted 💁‍♀️ *sigh* 😔). But it comes back. It creeps in. All these thoughts and worries that are clouding my mind. Things that are "uncertain" seem to bother me. I don't even know if I could call it anxiety. I guess I'm not good at determining things sometimes, and this instance is one of those.
*Btw, whoever happens to read this, pls give up, there's no conclusion to this post, I knew that since the beginning. 👋 Goodbye*
I feel like I'm wasting so much time. (My time included). The sand on an hourglass...everything...feels like everything is slipping through my fingers. I thought there'd be more...chances...more... everything 😔. All of it. I thought there'd be mORE to look forward to in the future. I thought... I thought there's always a continuation. Not like a clock ticking, like every second feels so heavy.. and the more time goes by, the more I lose what I consider precious.
I hate it -- this feeling. It makes me cry. There's a hollow pain inside me, yearning...longing...wanting to be eased with an assurance... But... What assurance? Everything feels dark and gray and heavy like there's a storm threatening to come. I just want to know what's next? What are the plans? What are going to happen? What have been decided?
I just can't let go and it hurts. And I pretend to be okay with it but I hate it when I'm blinded or being kept in the dark. Cuz what can I do? And i feel like I'm always the last to know. (which is partly my fault, but still...!)
I don't know how to end this post. (As usual.)
I guess my only consolation is that there's one group who promised me "forever" and keep on keeping it, letting this phoenix torch burn forever (idek what im saying

3 days ago | [YT] | 0