Hi YouTube pals! My BG3 Character creation (episode 0!) will be with you this weekend! In the meantime... here's a lil update to explain what this channel will be used for moving forwards... and why!
Some of you will know that this channel was left abandoned for over a year at one point - the reason for that, to be 100% transparent, is the affect that YouTube has on my mental health. Now don't get me wrong, it's absolutely not all bad! It's been a privilege to be able to upload here, and I have met some incredible people and had some of the most beautiful, kind and wonderful comments a person could ask for. To those of you who have made that happen, thank you so much for making this a much more lovely space to have content on! Please know that you've made it worth it, and I'm very appreciative that you share so much of your time with me. You're the reason I came back; thank you!!
Sadly, it's not always been a positive experience, and taking a break for a year was because it got to a point where the negatives of uploading to YouTube outweighed the positives. After taking some time and coming back, I realised that I do genuinely really want to make content here, I don't want to leave the channel abandoned(!!) but, in order to keep doing that, I do need to change the way I approach YouTube, to ensure I don't end up back in that place where it massively affects me, the negatives of uploading outweigh the positives... and I stop posting. This does mean the way I upload here has changed, and I'm here to be transparent about it.
One of the reasons it's hard to keep up with posting here, is the time and energy (physical, emotional and mental!) it takes to maintain the channel. Another reason is that even when I turn off comments, I'm so aware of some of the abuse I've been subject to here, that knowing that... well, it changes my content style, and it's really hard to not let that happen. The result is that I end up making content where I'm more self protective, anxious and I second guess what I do. It's something I can do occasionally, but this does really make it tricky to be at peace with regularly making content knowing it's going to be uploaded here. When I upload here once every 4-6 weeks, it's manageable for me to be me and make content for you all that feels like me, that feels genuine, and that I'm really proud of! When upload here every week, for example when uploading every episode of a playthrough series... it's no longer manageable. It changes my style and it leaves me making very self protective content; because I'm anxious about those vocal, abusive few who would have me believe they are the majority (they're not!). This is a hugely nuanced thing to explain and I feel very vulnerable explaining it, but I hope this makes enough sense to help folks understand; this is about making sure I can still make content for people, as myself. Genuine content that I feel good about, that connects with people, instead of making content for an algorhythm, and allowing my decisions to be shaped by those vocal few.
This is why, moving forwards, it's likely that only the first episode of new let's play series will be uploaded to YouTube, with the rest of the episodes being available on Twitch; you'll be able to watch for free, you don't need an account, and recordings of live streams are available too so if you can't catch it live, don't worry, you can still watch the recording! YouTube will also get specific videos especially made for here and not seen on Twitch, for example unboxing the PlayStation Access Controller or explaining my foot controller or showing you round my streaming space (those latter two are coming soon!!). The other thing you'll find here will be uploads of a specific moment from a playthrough I think you'll enjoy, for example BG3 character creation, running out of fuel in Elite Dangerous or meeting that big dragon Partysnacks in Skyrim! The reason for playthrough "episodes 2" and beyond will be on Twitch but not YouTube is simply because I don't have the same tricky relationship with Twitch as I do with YouTube; I feel far more able to make that "content for people" there.
It's been tricky to figure out how to do this, as I am desperate to not punish those of you who have met my YouTube uploads with nothing but respect and kindness! But realistically, I've done my best to keep up with entire series on here and regardless of whether comments are on or off, I need to acknowledge the impact it has on me, and this solution is the way I've been able to find that healthy balance, which I'm genuinely really excited about!
I know that Twitch isn't everyone's cup of tea, I totally get that and please know there's never any pressure to hop over to a different platform if you don't want to! You'll absolutely still be able to enjoy uploads here, and even get some content that Twitch doesn't! I think for me it's just important to be honest with you all about the reasoning here, and be as transparent as possible about it all. Mental health is so important, and I'm really grateful that I've found a way to keep the balance.
Thank you so much for reading this long ass post, and thank you so much for your support, and for spending your time with me!
Until next time,
Kolo (and Pumpkin) x
Ps if you're looking for videos on twitch go here, and you'll see all the playlists there! If you are looking for a specific game, you can use the dropdown menu to "filter by: All Videos" and use the box there to search for the game name. If you're stuck, leave me a comment here and I'll help you find what you're looking for! Here's the link: www.twitch.tv/helloitskolo/videos
HelloItsKolo
What's happening on this channel?!
Hi YouTube pals! My BG3 Character creation (episode 0!) will be with you this weekend! In the meantime... here's a lil update to explain what this channel will be used for moving forwards... and why!
Some of you will know that this channel was left abandoned for over a year at one point - the reason for that, to be 100% transparent, is the affect that YouTube has on my mental health. Now don't get me wrong, it's absolutely not all bad! It's been a privilege to be able to upload here, and I have met some incredible people and had some of the most beautiful, kind and wonderful comments a person could ask for. To those of you who have made that happen, thank you so much for making this a much more lovely space to have content on! Please know that you've made it worth it, and I'm very appreciative that you share so much of your time with me. You're the reason I came back; thank you!!
Sadly, it's not always been a positive experience, and taking a break for a year was because it got to a point where the negatives of uploading to YouTube outweighed the positives. After taking some time and coming back, I realised that I do genuinely really want to make content here, I don't want to leave the channel abandoned(!!) but, in order to keep doing that, I do need to change the way I approach YouTube, to ensure I don't end up back in that place where it massively affects me, the negatives of uploading outweigh the positives... and I stop posting. This does mean the way I upload here has changed, and I'm here to be transparent about it.
One of the reasons it's hard to keep up with posting here, is the time and energy (physical, emotional and mental!) it takes to maintain the channel. Another reason is that even when I turn off comments, I'm so aware of some of the abuse I've been subject to here, that knowing that... well, it changes my content style, and it's really hard to not let that happen. The result is that I end up making content where I'm more self protective, anxious and I second guess what I do. It's something I can do occasionally, but this does really make it tricky to be at peace with regularly making content knowing it's going to be uploaded here. When I upload here once every 4-6 weeks, it's manageable for me to be me and make content for you all that feels like me, that feels genuine, and that I'm really proud of! When upload here every week, for example when uploading every episode of a playthrough series... it's no longer manageable. It changes my style and it leaves me making very self protective content; because I'm anxious about those vocal, abusive few who would have me believe they are the majority (they're not!). This is a hugely nuanced thing to explain and I feel very vulnerable explaining it, but I hope this makes enough sense to help folks understand; this is about making sure I can still make content for people, as myself. Genuine content that I feel good about, that connects with people, instead of making content for an algorhythm, and allowing my decisions to be shaped by those vocal few.
This is why, moving forwards, it's likely that only the first episode of new let's play series will be uploaded to YouTube, with the rest of the episodes being available on Twitch; you'll be able to watch for free, you don't need an account, and recordings of live streams are available too so if you can't catch it live, don't worry, you can still watch the recording! YouTube will also get specific videos especially made for here and not seen on Twitch, for example unboxing the PlayStation Access Controller or explaining my foot controller or showing you round my streaming space (those latter two are coming soon!!). The other thing you'll find here will be uploads of a specific moment from a playthrough I think you'll enjoy, for example BG3 character creation, running out of fuel in Elite Dangerous or meeting that big dragon Partysnacks in Skyrim! The reason for playthrough "episodes 2" and beyond will be on Twitch but not YouTube is simply because I don't have the same tricky relationship with Twitch as I do with YouTube; I feel far more able to make that "content for people" there.
It's been tricky to figure out how to do this, as I am desperate to not punish those of you who have met my YouTube uploads with nothing but respect and kindness! But realistically, I've done my best to keep up with entire series on here and regardless of whether comments are on or off, I need to acknowledge the impact it has on me, and this solution is the way I've been able to find that healthy balance, which I'm genuinely really excited about!
I know that Twitch isn't everyone's cup of tea, I totally get that and please know there's never any pressure to hop over to a different platform if you don't want to! You'll absolutely still be able to enjoy uploads here, and even get some content that Twitch doesn't! I think for me it's just important to be honest with you all about the reasoning here, and be as transparent as possible about it all. Mental health is so important, and I'm really grateful that I've found a way to keep the balance.
Thank you so much for reading this long ass post, and thank you so much for your support, and for spending your time with me!
Until next time,
Kolo (and Pumpkin) x
Ps if you're looking for videos on twitch go here, and you'll see all the playlists there! If you are looking for a specific game, you can use the dropdown menu to "filter by: All Videos" and use the box there to search for the game name. If you're stuck, leave me a comment here and I'll help you find what you're looking for! Here's the link: www.twitch.tv/helloitskolo/videos
1 year ago | [YT] | 166