One of the greatest awakenings on my path has been realizing that not everybody changes. Some people simply don’t. And as hard as that can be to accept—especially when it’s someone we love—that’s their journey, not ours to carry or fix.
I really started to understand this through Al-Anon’s Step 1: “We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.” For me, that step wasn’t just about alcohol; it was about my need to control and learning the deep truth that I cannot change another human being. No matter how much I love them, no matter how much I see their potential, no matter how badly I want them to heal… I am powerless over their choices.
What I can do is take responsibility for myself. I can choose to step back from trying to “rescue” or “fix.” I can focus on my own growth, my own healing, and my own peace. And in doing so, I’ve found a new kind of freedom—the freedom of letting people have their own path, while I walk mine.
It’s not always easy. Sometimes it hurts. But it’s also incredibly liberating to know that my worth, my peace, and my happiness don’t depend on someone else changing.
So today, I invite you to take a moment and reflect: Where might you be holding on to someone else’s journey instead of your own? And what would it feel like to gently let go, and come back home to yourself?
Bernard Alvarez
One of the greatest awakenings on my path has been realizing that not everybody changes. Some people simply don’t. And as hard as that can be to accept—especially when it’s someone we love—that’s their journey, not ours to carry or fix.
I really started to understand this through Al-Anon’s Step 1: “We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.” For me, that step wasn’t just about alcohol; it was about my need to control and learning the deep truth that I cannot change another human being. No matter how much I love them, no matter how much I see their potential, no matter how badly I want them to heal… I am powerless over their choices.
What I can do is take responsibility for myself. I can choose to step back from trying to “rescue” or “fix.” I can focus on my own growth, my own healing, and my own peace. And in doing so, I’ve found a new kind of freedom—the freedom of letting people have their own path, while I walk mine.
It’s not always easy. Sometimes it hurts. But it’s also incredibly liberating to know that my worth, my peace, and my happiness don’t depend on someone else changing.
So today, I invite you to take a moment and reflect: Where might you be holding on to someone else’s journey instead of your own? And what would it feel like to gently let go, and come back home to yourself?
2 weeks ago | [YT] | 9