I thought for a long time about how I would start this post, but I realized it's been something that I've fundamentally struggled with my whole life: feeling like what I do is "enough." So I'm going to spitball this one and give it to you guys straight.
The break I took was probably one of the best yet hardest things that I let myself do. In the past couple of weeks, I found an enormous sense of relief and peace of mind because for the first time in a year, I wasn't "thinking" about anything specifically. Like I could finally relax without worrying about any deadlines, or any obligations. It was very refreshing.
Of course, that feeling only lasted for like a week or so.
After relief died down, I started noticing this feeling of anxiety.
That maybe I'm just old news. That when I return, everything will have changed. That when I come back, everybody has moved on. Obviously, there's a term for this: FOMO.
It's kind of like going on a summer break, or taking a break from employment. It feels great because it scratches the itch you've been unable to scratch for so long, but as you keep scratching, it starts to feel...empty. You scroll listlessly on social media and play games just to pass time. And before you know it, 1 month later, you're strangely looking forward to going back to school again, or starting to look for a new job.
That's me right now.
I never really understood why I felt this way when I was young, and I also used to think adults were crazy for WANTING to get to work. But after having this break, I think I understand.
It's the feeling of time stopping.
When you're caught up in the races, you're running just like everyone else, chasing for your passions, suffering together, and growing in the process. But because everyone is running like you, you don't seem to notice the change. You feel hardstuck despite moving forward.
And sometimes you'll crash and burn... but when you stop, take a step back, and observe, you start seeing the bigger picture: everyone is still moving... except you aren't.
It's not a bad thing, of course. A rest is needed every now and then.
But at the same time, sitting still isn't... fun?
I miss making videos. I miss meeting new people. I miss creating content and playing the game. Most importantly...
I miss you.
You guys are what make my journey in content creation as fun as it is, and I miss it all.
I miss joking around and making you guys laugh, I miss teaching you about how to improve in Valorant. I miss the feeling of chasing my dreams.
royalG
Hope you guys have been doing well!
I thought for a long time about how I would start this post, but I realized it's been something that I've fundamentally struggled with my whole life: feeling like what I do is "enough." So I'm going to spitball this one and give it to you guys straight.
The break I took was probably one of the best yet hardest things that I let myself do. In the past couple of weeks, I found an enormous sense of relief and peace of mind because for the first time in a year, I wasn't "thinking" about anything specifically. Like I could finally relax without worrying about any deadlines, or any obligations. It was very refreshing.
Of course, that feeling only lasted for like a week or so.
After relief died down, I started noticing this feeling of anxiety.
That maybe I'm just old news. That when I return, everything will have changed. That when I come back, everybody has moved on. Obviously, there's a term for this: FOMO.
It's kind of like going on a summer break, or taking a break from employment. It feels great because it scratches the itch you've been unable to scratch for so long, but as you keep scratching, it starts to feel...empty. You scroll listlessly on social media and play games just to pass time. And before you know it, 1 month later, you're strangely looking forward to going back to school again, or starting to look for a new job.
That's me right now.
I never really understood why I felt this way when I was young, and I also used to think adults were crazy for WANTING to get to work. But after having this break, I think I understand.
It's the feeling of time stopping.
When you're caught up in the races, you're running just like everyone else, chasing for your passions, suffering together, and growing in the process. But because everyone is running like you, you don't seem to notice the change. You feel hardstuck despite moving forward.
And sometimes you'll crash and burn... but when you stop, take a step back, and observe, you start seeing the bigger picture: everyone is still moving... except you aren't.
It's not a bad thing, of course. A rest is needed every now and then.
But at the same time, sitting still isn't... fun?
I miss making videos. I miss meeting new people. I miss creating content and playing the game. Most importantly...
I miss you.
You guys are what make my journey in content creation as fun as it is, and I miss it all.
I miss joking around and making you guys laugh, I miss teaching you about how to improve in Valorant. I miss the feeling of chasing my dreams.
So... time will start moving again.
When the new act begins tomorrow,
I'm back.
You guys can probably guess:
DEADLOCK TO RADIANT BABY
See you guys soon.😎
- royalG
4 PM PST Mon - Fri
www.twitch.tv/royalgftw
2 years ago | [YT] | 534