As 2023 draws to a close, felt like I might as well do a little write-up. When I left Vinesauce in 2018, I felt like the channel was strong, and I could just break off and do my own thing and find my own success in YouTube land. I had a lot of optimism and ego, and I guess that was my first mistake.
Boy was I wrong. I'd say about 90% of my audience bled off once I stopped working for Vinesauce, which showed it was never really about me, they just associated with me because of the one-degree-off-Vinny. Now, I obviously don't hold anything against Vinny, quite the opposite, he was always good to me, it was just sad to know that I personally didn't really matter when I was no longer associated with him.
In the last 5 years, I've had a lot of trouble coming to terms with that. I've been angry, frustrated, depressed. Not JUST about that (I mean, have you seen the world lately?), but it was a factor. Even today, I'll randomly be "spotted" on Reddit or something, and they always call out, "'Hey, didn't you work for Vinesauce?" Clearly showing in the last 5 years, the general public at large hasn't cared at all about anything I've done, because nobody knows me apart from that, apparently. (Because on the flipside, they never "spot" me and call out anything BESIDES Vinesauce.)
In the last few months, I've finally come to terms with it. I'll never be a popular YouTube personality. I'm surprised at the few who have stuck with me, but you all are special to me. I don't know why you stick with me when everyone else left, but it means a LOT.
However, that also means I'm deprioritizing YouTube. That doesn't mean I'll never upload, for example see the "Mayonnaise RPG" thing. (Which I had a lot of fun with! And my younger brother even wanted in on it, the "second voice" there.) Knowing I'll never "succeed" on this platform, I'm going to just upload whatever amuses me whenever I can. I just also want to focus on other things in life since the things I do on YouTube tend to be heavy time investment for little reward. It's just a practicality.
Still, the mild net positive here is that I'm finally going to get back to just uploading "for fun" and not be worried about whether whatever I upload actually does anything for the insatiable YouTube machine. "Mayonnaise RPG" is a perfect example of me amusing myself. I actually love Mario RPG, it is a super nostalgic part of my childhood, and I'm old enough that I played it on the SNES back in the day when it was NEW. This sort of corruption comes from my soul. I love reverse engineering things and making them deliberately malfunction in an interesting way. It's just how I roll.
If you like it, it's here. If it's gotten old, well, unsubscribe and go your own way, I'm not gonna be hurt by it, we all like what we like, and vice-versa. I want to enter 2024 (and all the potentially scary things it brings us) with a better focus on just getting back to being "me" and not focused on how much none of this really "worked out" in a "metrics" sort of way. I know I'm out of touch and "old hat", but fuck it, I'd rather be me than just another pandering to the meme machines of the Internet.
Captain Southbird
As 2023 draws to a close, felt like I might as well do a little write-up. When I left Vinesauce in 2018, I felt like the channel was strong, and I could just break off and do my own thing and find my own success in YouTube land. I had a lot of optimism and ego, and I guess that was my first mistake.
Boy was I wrong. I'd say about 90% of my audience bled off once I stopped working for Vinesauce, which showed it was never really about me, they just associated with me because of the one-degree-off-Vinny. Now, I obviously don't hold anything against Vinny, quite the opposite, he was always good to me, it was just sad to know that I personally didn't really matter when I was no longer associated with him.
In the last 5 years, I've had a lot of trouble coming to terms with that. I've been angry, frustrated, depressed. Not JUST about that (I mean, have you seen the world lately?), but it was a factor. Even today, I'll randomly be "spotted" on Reddit or something, and they always call out, "'Hey, didn't you work for Vinesauce?" Clearly showing in the last 5 years, the general public at large hasn't cared at all about anything I've done, because nobody knows me apart from that, apparently. (Because on the flipside, they never "spot" me and call out anything BESIDES Vinesauce.)
In the last few months, I've finally come to terms with it. I'll never be a popular YouTube personality. I'm surprised at the few who have stuck with me, but you all are special to me. I don't know why you stick with me when everyone else left, but it means a LOT.
However, that also means I'm deprioritizing YouTube. That doesn't mean I'll never upload, for example see the "Mayonnaise RPG" thing. (Which I had a lot of fun with! And my younger brother even wanted in on it, the "second voice" there.) Knowing I'll never "succeed" on this platform, I'm going to just upload whatever amuses me whenever I can. I just also want to focus on other things in life since the things I do on YouTube tend to be heavy time investment for little reward. It's just a practicality.
Still, the mild net positive here is that I'm finally going to get back to just uploading "for fun" and not be worried about whether whatever I upload actually does anything for the insatiable YouTube machine. "Mayonnaise RPG" is a perfect example of me amusing myself. I actually love Mario RPG, it is a super nostalgic part of my childhood, and I'm old enough that I played it on the SNES back in the day when it was NEW. This sort of corruption comes from my soul. I love reverse engineering things and making them deliberately malfunction in an interesting way. It's just how I roll.
If you like it, it's here. If it's gotten old, well, unsubscribe and go your own way, I'm not gonna be hurt by it, we all like what we like, and vice-versa. I want to enter 2024 (and all the potentially scary things it brings us) with a better focus on just getting back to being "me" and not focused on how much none of this really "worked out" in a "metrics" sort of way. I know I'm out of touch and "old hat", but fuck it, I'd rather be me than just another pandering to the meme machines of the Internet.
1 year ago | [YT] | 330