it's my birthday! (and I'll lend you my candles so you can make a wish too.)
We bought Yabá exactly one week before my 27th birthday.
Whenever I looked back at the MP I was five years ago, the one who fell into the trap of buying a doomed boat, I used to feel ashamed.
“I was so naive.” “I can’t believe I fell for that.” “I can’t believe I bought a sinking boat.”
I didn’t regret it, but I wasn’t proud of it either.
Back then, Ben and I thought we were ready for the adventure of owning a boat. We imagined all the places it would take us. And yet the five years that followed looked nothing like those dreams. Only now, as I turn 32, we're finally living the life that made us take the leap in the first place.
Now, back in the same waters where it all began, I can look at that younger version of me with different eyes. Instead of shame, I quite admire her.
Because here’s the truth:It was still the pandemic. Ben and I had just moved to Brazil. We’d been locked at home for months. And then one day, we decided to hit the road. We woke up at 4 am, drove 800km to see what could be our future boat, our future home. We slept in the boot of our car. And the next morning, we went very thirsty to the well. We overlooked all of Yabá’s defects and focused only on the life she might one day give us.
It took a while, but that life eventually happened.
So now, for the first time, I can look at my past self and love her. Thank her. Her naiveness and her bravery brought me here today.
We’ve been building for five years. And I was many versions of myself during that time. A dreamer. A hard worker. A worrier (of course). But always, a resilient one.
We’ve been traveling for just over a month now, and I’ve already lost count of the times I’ve had teary eyes, whispering to myself: “I can’t believe this is my life.”
And now, Yabá has carried me to a new destination, where I get to blow out the candles this year. Every birthday, my wish has always been the same: to be happy.
But this year… I think I’m out of ideas.
Because it doesn’t feel fair to wish for something I already have in overflowing abundance. I’ve been happy in many ways before, but this happiness feels different. I’m surrounded by the people (and dogs) I love most, living the literal life of my dreams.
It doesn’t get any better than this.
Things didn’t go exactly as we planned. But I believe they went exactly as they should.
So today I dare to challenge the iconic phrase:“I love it when a plan comes together.”
And instead say:“I love it when a plan doesn’t come together.”
Because while I’ll always keep planning and cheering for my plans, I’ve learned to welcome the unplanned bits with open arms too.
So cheers to all the things that didn’t go to plan. Because life was way more generous to me than I could ever be.
And as for my candles, well, life has already given me more than I dared to wish for, so this year my only wish is simple: to keep living it fully. But don’t tell anyone, or else it won’t come true!
MP ◡̈
•••
(this reflection was sent in my newsletter, together with other fun stories, and you can subscribe for free to receive them straight in your inbox sailingyaba.substack.com/)
Sailing Yabá
it's my birthday!
(and I'll lend you my candles so you can make a wish too.)
We bought Yabá exactly one week before my 27th birthday.
Whenever I looked back at the MP I was five years ago, the one who fell into the trap of buying a doomed boat, I used to feel ashamed.
“I was so naive.”
“I can’t believe I fell for that.”
“I can’t believe I bought a sinking boat.”
I didn’t regret it, but I wasn’t proud of it either.
Back then, Ben and I thought we were ready for the adventure of owning a boat. We imagined all the places it would take us. And yet the five years that followed looked nothing like those dreams.
Only now, as I turn 32, we're finally living the life that made us take the leap in the first place.
Now, back in the same waters where it all began, I can look at that younger version of me with different eyes. Instead of shame, I quite admire her.
Because here’s the truth:It was still the pandemic. Ben and I had just moved to Brazil. We’d been locked at home for months. And then one day, we decided to hit the road. We woke up at 4 am, drove 800km to see what could be our future boat, our future home. We slept in the boot of our car. And the next morning, we went very thirsty to the well. We overlooked all of Yabá’s defects and focused only on the life she might one day give us.
It took a while, but that life eventually happened.
So now, for the first time, I can look at my past self and love her. Thank her. Her naiveness and her bravery brought me here today.
We’ve been building for five years. And I was many versions of myself during that time. A dreamer. A hard worker. A worrier (of course). But always, a resilient one.
We’ve been traveling for just over a month now, and I’ve already lost count of the times I’ve had teary eyes, whispering to myself: “I can’t believe this is my life.”
And now, Yabá has carried me to a new destination, where I get to blow out the candles this year. Every birthday, my wish has always been the same: to be happy.
But this year… I think I’m out of ideas.
Because it doesn’t feel fair to wish for something I already have in overflowing abundance. I’ve been happy in many ways before, but this happiness feels different. I’m surrounded by the people (and dogs) I love most, living the literal life of my dreams.
It doesn’t get any better than this.
Things didn’t go exactly as we planned. But I believe they went exactly as they should.
So today I dare to challenge the iconic phrase:“I love it when a plan comes together.”
And instead say:“I love it when a plan doesn’t come together.”
Because while I’ll always keep planning and cheering for my plans, I’ve learned to welcome the unplanned bits with open arms too.
So cheers to all the things that didn’t go to plan. Because life was way more generous to me than I could ever be.
And as for my candles, well, life has already given me more than I dared to wish for, so this year my only wish is simple: to keep living it fully. But don’t tell anyone, or else it won’t come true!
MP ◡̈
•••
(this reflection was sent in my newsletter, together with other fun stories, and you can subscribe for free to receive them straight in your inbox sailingyaba.substack.com/)
3 months ago (edited) | [YT] | 589