That’s a good response to a woman that says she’s the table, “tables are cheap and easy to replace.”
1 week ago (edited) | 47
Tldr, "keep your legs closed" is very relevant today as it was 50 years ago.
1 week ago | 10
👏 👏 👏 In a world where lies are routinely promoted and rewarded, telling the truth,as you are, is a revolutionary and dangerous a
1 week ago | 12
Beautiful writing, and infuriating, not because of you, but because of the burning hate that even thinking about these things while somebody "on your side" narrates them arouses.
1 week ago | 4
“You should improve yourself first” Virtually no one does, and still finds someone, so that “advice” is horse crap. Plus, that romantic partner can be a motivator (directly or indirectly) for improvement. Not everyone is intrinsically motivated, and given how (rightfully) depressed some guys get at the state of things, you could start to wonder why you should care about doing X for yourself if you don’t care. There is some baseline you should try to achieve, like have a job, be clean, don’t be an a$$hole, etc. But yes, this eternal “just improve” is nonsense. Because the obvious question becomes “What level of ‘improvement’ do I have to qualify for a relationship?” Along with other follow-up questions like “What specific criteria does ‘improvement’ mean, is that a realistic goal, how long would it take to attain?” And maybe more importantly… “Did you bother doing any of this, and what ‘level’ were you when you were dating?” The answer is they didn’t consider any of this and not because they were already “that good”. The dating market/women/society was different back then so it wasn’t even tossed around as “advice”.
1 week ago | 3
I read this whole post in TL;DRs voice. I should make a video about this reading the whole excerpt (with TL;DRs permission)
1 week ago | 2
the solution in the modern environment is to slowly introduce improvements and limits, to create urgency for example: - if your country has mandatory military service for men, make it mandatory for women too, allow them to complete by giving birth (these things usually have a specific age when you must serve at the latest, so make that the limit for giving birth too) - improve marriage/divorce/custody laws, we have already seen small improvements here and there (e.g. with regards to alimony) - make marriage a one-time -thing, you get one chance, you can divorce, but you cannot get married again - make marriage limited to 18 to 28 year olds, older people can get together, etc. but not legally marry (of course, they can have whatever religious ceremonies they want)
1 week ago | 2
eh, you’re not wrong - outdated dating advice is useless once someone’s been off the market long enough. But honestly, that’s not even the real issue anymore. This isn’t a “men in or out of the dating market” problem. It’s a cultural rot problem. If the culture itself rewards destructive behaviour, then arguing about the state of the dating market is like complaining about the smoke while the house is on fire. We have a perfect modern example of how bad things have actually become: DoorDash Girl. She broke into a man’s home, filmed him naked without consent, uploaded it to TikTok, and - as far as I’m aware - still has an account. She reported him to the police, and the initial response wasn’t “you committed a crime,” it was “sir, if you fall asleep naked in your own home again after drinking, we may have to arrest you.” That happened in the United States. The country that brands itself “Land of the Free.” And then the culture twisted itself into a pretzel to justify her behaviour and blame him. People defended the sexual assaulter because she was a woman and he was a man. That’s where we are. It’s why the “who’s on the dating market?” debate is pointless. If the culture incentivises bad behaviour - and even protects it - then individual readiness or self-improvement is irrelevant. You could be the most well-adjusted man alive and still be fed into the grinder because the incentive structure is broken. The UK is authoritarian as hell, but at least we’re not lied to about it. Meanwhile America says “you have free speech” while charging people in New York for misgendering, and says “you have the right to self-defence” while using indefinite red flag laws to strip that right away. It’s the same underlying cultural illness in different flavours. And that’s the actual root problem: when a culture refuses to hold women accountable, and actively encourages the worst behaviours in them, every other conversation becomes meaningless. You can’t fix relationships if the society they exist in punishes normality and rewards dysfunction. Fix the culture and the dating market will follow. Ignore the culture and nothing improves.
1 week ago | 20
My youtube app crashed while I was halfway through reading this, and then it was no longer on my subscriptions page. Could mean nothing, perhaps a coincidence, but I grow tired of seeing these coincidences.
1 week ago | 2
I disagree with the 2nd to last paragraph, but absolutely great write up otherwise!
1 week ago | 1
You missed also women that SA men or even literal minors and have a kid the state will make the victim pay child support, they've gone so far as to sue on the perpetrator's behalf and won.
1 week ago | 4
I am glad i am not in the dating market. If for some reason i were once again, i would not k ow where to begin. I have watched young men atound me drive themselves nuts just trying to talk to a woman without causing offense. Its wild. Offense is how GenXers met each other a lot of the time.
1 week ago | 1
I was ready from 2015 (when it clicked) for women’s rights to vote and women’s other rights to be taken away.
1 week ago | 1
TL;DR
The "May I meet you?" meme and concept is funny but serves an important purpose as a reminder.
Past a certain age, dating advice becomes useless because you're so outside the current dating market, anything you advise to the young people becomes worthless. I would remind people "the young" are the people most in need of help in this regard because their relationships are the ones that will actually be fruitful. This is no different than a "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" boomer telling you to "hit the bricks, walk into a place, ask to see the manager, give him a firm handshakes and tell him 'I can start on Monday'.".
This goes the same for married men the longer they are married. If you're off the market, by default you no longer experience it. This renders your opinion increasingly moot.
There is a particular disdain that should be held for men who married single mothers offering dating advice. Particularly if that single mother has multiple "baby daddies". This is someone bloviating on the making of fine wine, while they eat the dregs of a drained keg with a spoon. Not only is their advice worthless, it should be mocked and ridiculed. Cuckolds can offer no knowledge worth hearing on the topic of relationships.
The final point to remember is that the left, feminists, the woke, whatever you want to call them, the right, conservatives, tradcons, whatever you want to call them. All these parties will fail to fix the problems of the sexual market place because all of them are incapable of the one thing that would actually have an impact on the problem; The ability to hold women to account for their actions and blame them where necessary for their shortcomings and any unreasonable or malicious behaviour engaged in.
All of these people will take the exact same tack. "Men need to do better.". Stating that women need to be held to account for their impact on relationships is not saying men shouldn't improve themselves or shouldn't put anything into relationships at all. Certainly they should. But men cannot become infinitely better. They are not gods. There are limits to what they can reasonably achieve. Worse still is the notion that men must have done all the improving before they get the relationship, as opposed to how these work. Improving themselves while in the relationship because of the relationship.
There must come a point where the intrasexual competition of women must be addressed. The "Yas-lighting". The "Oh, girl... you can do soooo much better! You don't need a man anyway!". The delusion of being worthy of a man who has all the 6's is just that, delusion. If you "are the table", then you are just as easily replaced as the object you make yourself. Then you wonder why you get treated like a living fleshlight and end up as an "alpha widow". Forever chasing the best you ever had and demanding all men meet the standard of the one night stand you fantasise about a decade or two later. Despite the irony that the existence of the one night stand makes you worse as a potential partner anyway.
This is all besides the broken legal system around relationships... no fault divorce (aka, men at fault), disproportionate alimony, false accusations as weapons with full support of the state. If women will not push back on this and the women who demand these standards, they will never change. Despite popular opinion, men cannot and will not force women to change. Men love women as an abstract too much to do that. So women must fight the worst aspects of their own nature. We already expect men to wage this war within themselves. Yet to suggest women must do the same to become worthy of a partner gets you called a sexist.
This is the problem. It is the problem that, for many people, cannot be named and thus cannot be fixed.
I try to avoid the "this is inevitable because of human nature expressed within a first world environment" position but it is increasingly hard to not think that when it is so ubiquitous anywhere when life gets good.
Losing the home economy overseen by women. Turning them from spinners, candle makers, weavers, clothiers, brewers, bakers etc. into consumers rather than these societally essential producers. Making people actually genuinely believe that "the man works while the woman stays home using automated white goods and spending his money" was normal or, even worse "traditional", has been a disaster.
Men invented every time and labour saving device to give women the most safe, comfortable and work free world humanity has ever had. And women have never forgiven men for doing it. Worse, it drove them mad.
1 week ago | [YT] | 467