As a Christian, I do believe everyone deserves the Lord’s mercy and grace BUT this level of mercy would not be extended to Jonathan Majors if he wasn’t already poised to become the next big prestige actor of our time. It feels performative and like PR damage control. The way Jonathan Majors spoke about himself as if he was the next MLK and wanted Grace to cosplay Coretta as a white woman? That’s all I needed to hear to understand what kind of person he is. My concern is that the same way we covered up for certain leaders (like MLK), we’re covering up for other celebs like Jonathan because we’re so overprotective of our cultural figures. It is actually NOT our jobs as Black women to protect our men. Men are supposed to lead, provide and protect US. Funny how he runs to Black women now that his white girlfriend exposed his behavior. He’s a grown man who has to take accountability for his own actions. We cannot use the race card every time we want to avoid accountability.
10 months ago
| 39
My eyes almost got stuck in the back of my head. I truly believe in forgiveness but for some reason women like Iyanla are always looking to forgive (men only) before the behavior has changed or before accountability has truly been taken. That’s not the right order lol. It’s why Jonathan got his black culture beard Meghan and started attending black events instead of simply taking responsibility for his actions and asking for a chance to prove himself. He has had these type allegations dating back to before he was famous. Coddling him with a fake award won’t fix the problem. A nuanced discussion on how he could have approached things for a better outcome to air for men as a discussion? Maybe. This… 😒
10 months ago
| 47
I have never been a fan of Iyanla because to me she is no different than the older generation of Black women who coddles Black men and scold Black women. I mean, look at the way she treated her Black women patients in the past. We use those clips as memes, but you can clearly see she has more smoke for Black women than you know Black men who have done harm and are horrible people like Johnathan Majors. I always hear this discussion point on if we should separate the art from the artist. And I personally believe a lot of people can’t do that, like let be for real for once. I also think it boils down to Black people looking for their “hero” because we are never given anyone who is a “positive” representation of our community. If said actor did x,y, and z like (@busing someone, r@ping someone etc.) that quickly get swept over the rug because you know, achievements. That’s why it is not surprising to me that these institutions of power like NAACP and the Perseverance award ceremony are still inviting Johnathan Majors, because he is an accomplished actor and they feel as though his legal troubles are not worth discussing.
10 months ago (edited)
| 55
At the least this was extremely misguided because what has he done privately or publicly in the last year to show perseverance. How has he given to women's abuse, DV centers, has he attended therapy, shown growth and maturity, he hasn't even had enough time to show that whatever pattern may have been present is broken
10 months ago
| 47
Not Karen Clark-Sheard…. Why is the church always aligned with some foolishness!
10 months ago
| 17
I fully agree with you! I'm literally struggling to figure out what he has persevered over. Perseverance is rising above traumatic situations done to you, not CAUSED BY YOU due to your temper! Does he need some grace and time to heal? Yes. But, this extent of coddling is disgusting to me. What's worse is people praising MG for standing by him through this, when they would be DRAGGING her and scolding her if he did the same to her. Iyanla would be the first person to ask,"Why did you stay?" Then would turn around and comfort him! The BK community has a serious generational problem with the coddling and support of abusive men.
10 months ago
| 7
I agree with every single letter in each word you typed. That's why I always say that EVERYTHING is a contradiction, people judge other people based on preconceived biases that are never consistent with other situations concerning their faves. At the end for me it all boils down to what's right and what's wrong, some people just enjoy the chaos.
10 months ago
| 6
You've done it again, Tiff! Make us have the difficult conversations, although it shouldn't be difficult ❤️! Right is right and wrong is wrong and our community does show mercy to entertainers we like, because they're the flavor of the month. Thank you for bringing this up! I think it's a slap in the face to victims of abuse and other black entertainers who have persevered through situations that were no fault of their own. How about awarding black entertainers who continue to perform and perfect their talents, despite getting snubbed for the big awards for the love of their craft, represented themselves well and haven't done anything to hurt others? The entertainers continuing to face discrimination, unequal pay, and more importantly doing something about it? What has he persevered through? His reputation and prospects taking a nosedive? Hell Mo'Nique has persevered! Maybe he can come to grips with what he's done and show positive change through his future actions? He hasn't done any hard time and he's "persevered" FOH! I'm not even going to get started on Megan or Iyanla's silly selves. However, I do get Harry and Meghan vibes from Jonathan and Megan 🤦🏾♀
10 months ago (edited)
| 7
Thank you for opening the discussion. I saw this on the time line last week and it has actually angered me ever since. Perseverance award??? For a man that is either abusive, manipulative or at the vert least a gaslighting cheater. We have seen many people of various races be talented while also harming others. I definitely feel like a perseverance award is only given by an older black woman to a young black man in this instance but that same grace isn't extended to young black women.
10 months ago
| 5
Great analysis. I don't keep up with what is considered to be excellence in black culture knowing what is celebrated as the representation of us ain't it but the collective adjusting to trauma now normalized. However, what you said about that sliding scale is just the truth that most do not want to acknowledge. One such example of this is MLK. We think skill, noble effort, talent makes up for lack of integrity OR that it IS ones intrinsic value. Furthermore integrity isn't on most of modern "blacks" radar so there really is only that scale of what they think is acceptable or deserving of condemnation. We gotta be better to do better.
10 months ago
| 15
I think, this is not a situation that warrants an award for perseverance. That’s for people who experience hardship and come out better or stronger. He wasn’t falsely accused. And in my opinion, if he had so much on the line he should have ended this relationship which he admitted was toxic, and kept his image in mind. That award should’ve gone to someone who’s been in the industry for a long time, had to work their way up. I don’t know if this is the best person but Taraji P Henson comes to mind because it took her a long time to get into the industry and get acclaim. (If they’re only choosing Hollywood people)
10 months ago
| 8
Anything with Iyanla's name associated is a hard pass for me. As for that man and his woman, I don't know enough about them to have an opinion. If there's abuse then he needs to do some real personal work and so does she. And not with Iyanla. We need to define excellence to include integrity, honor and trustworthiness. Stop putting the 😈 on a pedestal just because he/she is brown..
10 months ago (edited)
| 19
I actually agree with your original assessment. Sometimes people can't see the forest through the trees...
10 months ago
| 9
I don't know. I am kind of betwixt and between about this one. When his shenanigans with his then girlfriend were first revealed and the video showed him actually running away from her, I thought it was an 'open and shut' case, in his favor. But then, I remembered that he is a Black man in 'Murkah and that he should have known better. It's always been my thought that any Black man in the public eye, whether he be in the entertainment, sports or political arenas, to always be aware that there will always be a 'bullseye' on their backs, from the media and public opinion at large, waiting for the slightest error in judgement. In the end, JM should have known better, and when he had the chance to speak on it, he sort of put his foot in his mouth with the "Coretta King" remark. He didn't seem to show much contrition. I shouldn't judge another brother, because he's been through a lot. He can be forgiven by those who love him and he should move on and let his talents speak for him instead.
10 months ago | 1
I believe that everyone deserves grace. I also believe that everyone (no matter the status) should be held accountable when they do something wrong.
10 months ago
| 1
Iyania is a mammy and Majors is an abuser. He got himself in that situation. What did he persevere?
10 months ago
| 5
No man is a monolith. For a monolith is hewn of ancient stone, but man is hewn of recent bone. The reason they say "Don't meet your heroes" is because your "Hero" is in actuality an ideal you have subconsciously affixed to a person. (As you mentioned, we do this with our enemies too) so it's a muddling of convepts that is instantly destroyed when confronted with the reality of them just being a regular flawed person like the rest of us. We want to protect our heroes because if they embody our ideals. And if they get shattered, could we? This is the subconscious fear forged in hero warship.
10 months ago
| 1
I remember this one episode of Iyanla, Fix My Life, that was all about "down low" pastors coming out as gay. And the "happy ending" was for these pastors to "be their authentic honest selves" which involved openly embracing gay living and in one instance, even while remaining a pastor....all with Iyanla's stamp of approval. As much as I like Iyanla, I knew from that moment forth that her moral goggles have serious cracks in glass. Before that aforementioned episode, I might have been shocked by her making a move like this. But now, I don't find it too off-brand. I want to see the redemption of Majors, but that should involve him clearly owning up to his issues - not just kicking indiscretion down the memory hole.
10 months ago | 1
I honestly don’t know shit about the Jonathan majors case still because there is so much of this. I see Black people giving him a pass and I’m wary because I still don’t know what he did?! I hear people lump him in with Cosby and Spacey but I also hear people talking about specifically what those people did, it’s tiring for me to even engage trying to wade through the obfuscation and the condemnation to understand what actually happened. End of the day I know he got fired, I certainly was not a fan of his before all this and Im not gonna start being one now I’m gonna just keep minding my business
10 months ago
| 4
I see that almost everyone in the comments is not for this award. I don't know the standard for the award, so I don't really have a lot to say. But this is what I want to understand. I thought the young lady lied about the incident. I thought it was shown that she claimed to be injured but went to the club the very night. I saw a video of him running from her. I always take pause anytime someone quickly draws the conclusion that a man is guilty of abusing a woman. I do not like jumping to a conclusion. I have sons, and I know their character, and I'd want the same courtesy for their lives. What am I missing?
10 months ago
| 2
Tiffany Byrd Harrison
I really want to talk about this perseverance award with Jonathan Majors…but not because I have all the answers. I don’t really understand what’s going on with all of this.
I mentioned Jonathan and the case where he was convicted of unintentional harm to his ex-girlfriend, Grace Jabarri in my “ year of truth” video and there were quite a few comments from people who disagreed with my assessment. I said, that he was prideful and at the very least, unwise in his decisions. I would also clarify that his mishandling of the toxic relationship he was in was very much a “it takes two to tango” BUT given the racial and gender lines at play, he didn’t have any foresight that could have avoided all of this, you know, things like therapy and mental healthcare for his challenges with anger and depression.
The pushback comes down to a fear of demonizing talented, or gifted people in our community, even if they are accused of awful things, because we’re afraid that we will lose the exceptional if we hold them accountable.
I’veread court transcripts, checked out different news sources and scrubbed through so many opinion pieces on this whole saga and what’s clear to me is the sliding scale of judgment we apply based on how much we like a person or don’t. If we find someone exceptional, we are much less likely to hold them accountable for their actions. If we find someone deplorable, we are much more likely to hold them to high standards. Our affinity shifts based on who is popular so judgement is not equally applied.
But for judgment to be accurate in any case, it has to not rely on a person’s perception, but in what is right and wrong… and even that seems to be shifting according to the culture, by the day.
just to open the conversation, What do you think about this perseverance award, Iyanla Van Zant, the Jonathan Majors case, or even just what’s happening in the cultural discussion? Y’all know that’s what I’m most interested in anyway, how we perceive the messaging of all of these different things. Let me know in the comments.
10 months ago | [YT] | 171