I did not think that something that was supposed to be a temporary form of creative release between finishing my Master’s dissertation and finding a job in the UK (which obviously didn’t happen) would last this long. In fact, this has essentially become my job, even if I have no financial gain whatsoever. But even after moving house several times, and even countries and continents twice, somehow we’re still here.
This year started with mess after mess for me: moving back to Japan, trying to become an actual Japanese person again, getting into uni again, and moving house, all within 4 months. Add on the mess from the UK, it was nearly 8 straight months of no stability in my life, and all of that takes a toll on someone.
…And that’s where this gets tricky. Whether it’s getting overloaded with school, other personal events or just a general decline in my mental health, life isn’t great right now. That’s been made clear to me by the fact a lot of my hobbies I no longer find fun or get enjoyment out of. Unfortunately, k-pop is one of those hobbies.
I can’t really articulate this thought in a coherent way, but taking all that time for k-pop just doesn’t feel enjoyable right now. Sure, the music has been pretty good this year, but my mess of a life combined with the fact K-pop this year has been a mess itself, man has that joy been sapped dry. Sapped so dry, I’m considering dropping this whole YouTube thing altogether.
That day isn’t today, not yet at least.
But I will take a step back in terms of the amount of what goes out. Less MVs and albums covered moving forward for a while, at least until I can figure out what I want to do with this “hobby-turned-job?” thing that this has become.
I hate that this may seem like a disappointment for some of you, because that’s what it feels like for me. But I need to actually take care of myself, and not just pretend like I am.
But I don’t want this entire thing to be down and gloomy, so let me take some space to say a big thank you to everyone out there. Thank you for thinking this random dude on the internet who waffles on and on about k-pop on the internet is worth your time, thank you to those of you who have put me onto new artists, and thank you to everyone showing love for their favorite artists.
We’ll see what happens moving forward, but no matter what happens with the channel, I will always be your friend, ally, and shoulder to lean on, whenever you need me.
So take care of yourselves, take care of each other, spread the love, and I’ll see ya whenever I see ya.
LTKpop
[ENG]
2 years…
I did not think that something that was supposed to be a temporary form of creative release between finishing my Master’s dissertation and finding a job in the UK (which obviously didn’t happen) would last this long. In fact, this has essentially become my job, even if I have no financial gain whatsoever. But even after moving house several times, and even countries and continents twice, somehow we’re still here.
This year started with mess after mess for me: moving back to Japan, trying to become an actual Japanese person again, getting into uni again, and moving house, all within 4 months. Add on the mess from the UK, it was nearly 8 straight months of no stability in my life, and all of that takes a toll on someone.
…And that’s where this gets tricky. Whether it’s getting overloaded with school, other personal events or just a general decline in my mental health, life isn’t great right now. That’s been made clear to me by the fact a lot of my hobbies I no longer find fun or get enjoyment out of. Unfortunately, k-pop is one of those hobbies.
I can’t really articulate this thought in a coherent way, but taking all that time for k-pop just doesn’t feel enjoyable right now. Sure, the music has been pretty good this year, but my mess of a life combined with the fact K-pop this year has been a mess itself, man has that joy been sapped dry. Sapped so dry, I’m considering dropping this whole YouTube thing altogether.
That day isn’t today, not yet at least.
But I will take a step back in terms of the amount of what goes out. Less MVs and albums covered moving forward for a while, at least until I can figure out what I want to do with this “hobby-turned-job?” thing that this has become.
I hate that this may seem like a disappointment for some of you, because that’s what it feels like for me. But I need to actually take care of myself, and not just pretend like I am.
But I don’t want this entire thing to be down and gloomy, so let me take some space to say a big thank you to everyone out there. Thank you for thinking this random dude on the internet who waffles on and on about k-pop on the internet is worth your time, thank you to those of you who have put me onto new artists, and thank you to everyone showing love for their favorite artists.
We’ll see what happens moving forward, but no matter what happens with the channel, I will always be your friend, ally, and shoulder to lean on, whenever you need me.
So take care of yourselves, take care of each other, spread the love, and I’ll see ya whenever I see ya.
-LT
[JP/日本語]
今日で２年間か…
修士論文書き終わった後の遊びでやり始めたこのユーチューブチャンネルがここまで来るとは全然思ってなっかた。実際イギリスで仕事見つかるまでやろうかなと考えてたのが代わりに仕事みたいになりましたね。あんだけ引っ越しとかしてもビデオを作りつづけてここにいる。
今年はホントにごちゃごちゃの年になってるんです。4か月以内に日本に帰ってきて、日本人になって、入学試験やって、引っ越して学校に戻って、イギリスの最後の何か月も足すとおよそ8か月安定無しの生活をするとホントにメンタルに来るんですよ。
それでちょっと難しいことなんですけど、学校の疲れなのか自分の人生内のハプニングのせいなのかわからないんですけど、嬉しくないんです。実際に考えると好きだったもの好きさがなくなり始めたのが最初の証拠で今はK-POPもそのケースなんです。
きれいに説明はできないんですけど、今年のK-POPの世界がもごちゃごちゃで自分の人生がごしゃごしゃになってるせいだと思うんですけど始めた時に比べるとK-POPのビデオを作る楽しさがだいぶ減ってるんです。減りすぎてYouTubeをやめる事を何回か考えたこともあります。
ですが、今日はやめるわけではありません。
ホントはやりたくないんですけど、自分の面倒を見るのが一番なのでこれからあの楽しさを取り戻せるまではだいぶ作るビデオを減らす予定です。
たくさん言いましたけど全部悲しい話だけにしたくないのでちょっとトーンを変えます。
ビューアーの皆さんに、このインターネット上の野郎に時間を割く価値があると思ってくれてありがとう、新しいアーティストを紹介してくれた人たちにありがとう、そして好きなアーティストに愛を注いでくれるみんなにありがとうございます。
これからどうなるのかは分からないですけど、変わらないことはどこにいてもいつでも私はあなたのK-POPの友達です。なので次に会うまで自分自身を大切にし、互いを大切にしてください。
-LT
1 year ago | [YT] | 196